To HATE Christmas?

[Nikitra]

I've been steadily going off Christmas for years. The stress, the expense, the falseness of it all ...

Today has been spent rushing around trying to buy last minute presents as I'm working from tomorrow until Christmas Eve, as is DH. Packed out shops, manic car parks, endless withdrawals from the cash machines to put into cards ...

DH spent all morning writing out Christmas cards slotting £30 a time into "important cards". We then went and bought a few presents for friends which the dog has promptly wrecked whilst I was in the shower. Fuck knows when I'll get time to replace them and of course ... more expense.

The whole idea pisses me off too. We're atheists yet because we're British we're more or less forced into celebrating a religious period which sees us running around like idiots, spending shit loads of money and writing out endless cards which will be thrown into the bin in a couple of weeks! So pointless!!!

This weekend my mum brought out cards. She had put £50 in ours. We have put £50 in hers. What is the point???

I know I sound like a right miserable old cow but am I really on my own with this?

I'm working every day next week yet now need to magic the time to re-buy the presents that the dog wrecked, buy cards, go "visiting" and go for coffee with various friends who have requested coffee dates in order to exchange cards and gifts. I just want to disappear!!

I'm a total introvert / antisocial at the best of times so this time of year stresses me to the very brim.

AIBU to think it's all a bit ridiculous?

[Bluntness100]

Why don't you just order on line in advance, and withdraw the money in advance, you sound like you're making it worse for yourself. And in addition why give your parents money, and they you, either proper gifts or say no gifts this year.

Honestly. You're making it tougher on yourselves.

[anyoldname76]

yanbu as thats how you view it. Christmas to me is about family, feasting and presents, we arent religious at all. i do enjoy it though, its my favourite time of year

[acsec]

Could you not just send cards and say you don't do presents, therefore not having to give any but acknowledging christmas exists with a card?

[NotStoppedAllDay]

Op I agree with you

It's ridiculous

It isn't Christmas anyway, it's retailmas

[Nikitra]

Because it's what everyone else expects - if I say no gifts I'll get the "😐 You don't have to buy us anything but we'll still get you something".

[Bauble16]

Maybe you would enjoy Xmas if you was more prepared? Also it should be about what makes u happy, not a list of to DOS set by society. So if u really hate it don't send cards etc

[SwedishEdith]

Stop buying presents for so many people.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

The way you look at it is miserable tbh. You're sucking the joy out if it.

If that's the way you feel so be it, but not everyone feels like that.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

"Hate" is a strong word.

I hate peodophiles and animal cruelty.

I dislike the false feeling of everyone being jolly if you don't feel it.

Go on, is it "too commercialised" too?

[SEsofty]

Why give cash to people?
Either buy a present, if you can think of something that they would like. Or don't?

You are making it complicated and stressful.

Oh and train the dog not to destroy stuff

[LagunaBubbles]

I love Christmas so completely disagree with you, but of course that doesn't make you unreasonable, just have a different experience and opinion of Christmas.

[EagleIsland]

Over here I love thanksgiving. It's Christmas but without the presents. Food and family. I would much rather have a gift free Christmas

[TheWitTank]

It doesn't have to be like that you know! Stop bunging cash in cards, cut down on the gifts (or at least the amount you spend) and just do what you want. Life is far too short to be miserable every Christmas.

[LadyLothian]

I love Christmas! It's my favourite time of year, because I love the lights, the decorations and spending time with immediate family and close friends (introvert here too). My favourite part is Boxing Day when we all cuddle on the couch, including the cat and dogs, and watch vintage movies.

You are not unreasonable to dislike it. You are, however, unreasonable to make Christmas harder on yourself, act like a martyr and then blame the season.

[grannytomine]

I'm feeling revolted by the "feasting" already. I hate the waste but I do like the other side of Christmas, the carol service, midnight mass that sort of thing but the overspending, too much food, to much alcohol is all too much.

[DonaldStott]

Why have you left everything until the last minute? There is absolutely no need. Its on the 25th December every single year.

It is your own fault you are unprepared.

I hope you're not spreading you misery, moaning about how you have no time to do anything.

[Lelloteddy]

Agree with the above poster. Your whole attitude and approach are your responsibility. It's on the same day every year.
I don't buy into the whole commercialism of Christmas and I don't overspend because I can't.

[Sung]

YANBU to feel this way at all. YABU to continue to just keep doing it the way you are year after year if it makes you this miserable. Get through this one and then make some decisions about next year about how you can make it more enjoyable for you.

How about sending amazon vouchers via email instead of writing cards and putting cash in?

Stop the gift exchange with people at Christmas and do birthdays only (this is what I do apart from nephews/nieces my own DC and PIL) - much better!

[LunaLoveg00d]

I am so with you on this one OP and there are plenty of other people who feel the same way.

We're not religious, I don't like tacky, flashy decorations and will keep the Christmas tree up for the shortest time possible, I can't be arsed with the faffing, the enforced jollity, the build-up from Bonfire Night, the shitey crappy music on the radio (thank god for Radio 4), the rampant consumerism and the amount of WASTEFULNESS from start to finish, the mountains of plastic crap shipped into the country to be broken by New Year's Eve, the programmes on telly telling you how you have to produce an Elizabethan feast every day for a month, elf on the fucking shelf, christmas eve boxes #makingmemories - it's all just shite.

Would quite happily hibernate until January 3rd, or piss off somewhere warm where people haven't lost the plot.

[MrsMuddlePluck]

I love Christmas when it comes, but hate the fact that I do pretty much everything and DH wanders in and does a little bit of gift shopping and last minute grocery shop on Xmas Eve! This time round, I'm working until 5pm on Friday and he has the week off, so I hope he steps up. Not holding out much hope as I was ill yesterday, but he spent even longer in bed than I did, just sleeping.

Today I have been on the go all day - cards, hoovering, tidying, while he's been in the lounge with his feet up watching tv and snoring all day long.

Before you ask - yes I do ask for help, but it's never forthcoming. I'm looking forward to Christmas Day, after dinner, when it's my chance to just veg for a change.

[Glittermakeseverythingbetter]

I always think giving parents money in a card for Christmas is a bit weird anyway. Why don't you just give them a fancy tin of shortbread biscuits or something. Don't bother sending any cards. We get less and less every year and I send less.
Forget small presents with friends, either meet up in a big group once or tell them you'd rather spend time having a catch up with them in the new year.
If you say you are not buying for people but they still buy for you then that's up to them, some people do actually enjoy, and have the time, for present shopping, and enjoy giving.
Christmas should be what you make it, not what other people dictate.

[VilootShesCute]

I'd hate that too op

[GetAHaircutCarl]

I think you have to develop what Christmas is for- for you and yours.

It's actually very subjective.

Once you've settled on that, as opposed to the mass market idea of what we should all be doing, you will enjoy it.

For our family, it's very much a time to offer hospitality to extended family, to spend some extended time together, to have a bit of 'tradition' ( something we rarely do otherwise).

We have pretty much ditched any aspects of it that don't fit in with what we want.

We also don't buy into the idea that it's the Most Special Time Of The Year. That is far too much pressure and frankly a bit silly.

[PNGirl]

I only buy presents for 4 people (mum, dad, husband, best friend) and I start in October. I've been done for about 3 weeks now. DH only buys for me, his parents and his sister. Anything not-fresh can be bought weeks in advance food wise (let's face it, all the stollen, bucks fizz etc is on sale from September).

Who on earth are you sending endless £30s to? I only spend about that on each parent!

Stop sending so many cards, and if it's children you're sending to have a cutoff at 16.

[harderandharder2breathe]

You're making it miserable for yourself

Christmas is whatever you make it. If exchanging £50 with your mum bothers you then SAY SOMETHING to her!

If you leave shopping til a week before then yes it will be super busy. Save the stress and do it early or online.