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Settle a friendly disagreement

(85 Posts)
MTBMummy Sun 18-Dec-16 18:38:05

DP admitted to calling an unknown woman "Love", my view is it's an offensive and degrading term, he thinks it's not, something like "sugar tits" would be.

Am I being overly sensitive or is he just behind the times with what is or isn't offensive?

Off to bath the kids, look forward to your views.

dementedpixie Sun 18-Dec-16 18:39:39

Wouldn't bother me although it depends how he said it

ArmySal Sun 18-Dec-16 18:40:30

You'd best stay away from oop' North then...

PurpleDaisies Sun 18-Dec-16 18:41:05

I absolutely hate it. It's really patronising.

TheWitTank Sun 18-Dec-16 18:41:53

Oh god, I call everyone love blush

katiegg Sun 18-Dec-16 18:43:36

Wouldn't really bother me to be honest...

DementedUnicorn Sun 18-Dec-16 18:43:37

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I don't think I'd even notice confused

anyoldname76 Sun 18-Dec-16 18:43:52

love and duck are well used terms around here

toldmywraath Sun 18-Dec-16 18:44:02

I am from the south east & I don't mind being called love by strangers (be they men or women) I find it quite endearing.

Sometimes though it does depend on the context- if someone is being sarcastic it rankles. Not offensive though.

CaraAspen Sun 18-Dec-16 18:44:45

I like it. Anyone who wishes may call me "love"!

londonrach Sun 18-Dec-16 18:45:13

Depends where you live but love is commonly used up north. I dont see any problems with it.

CaraAspen Sun 18-Dec-16 18:45:22

Obviously not the sarcastic version. Grrrrr

Valeriemalorie Sun 18-Dec-16 18:46:07

He admitted it to you? Isn't it just a word some people use? Like calling a man " mate" or something? I don't really like it but wouldn't be offended. Where do you live? Just a normal way of talking in some areas.

FrogTime Sun 18-Dec-16 18:46:08

What armysal said grin

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Sun 18-Dec-16 18:46:53

It wouldn't bother me but I'm from the midlands & it's used all the time by men & women alike. I suppose it could come across as patronising if you're not used to hearing it.

MissingPanda Sun 18-Dec-16 18:48:21

It's well used around here by both men and women. It wouldn't bother me.

tanfield90 Sun 18-Dec-16 18:48:35

You are overly sensitive OP. 'Love' is an inoffensive and informal term of endearment. Where I'm from men and women call men and women 'love'.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 18-Dec-16 18:48:46

I like it. Or at least, don't mind it. It's friendly,

pigsDOfly Sun 18-Dec-16 18:49:16

Very much depends on context and tone of voice.

If he was saying something patronising along with the word love, e.g. 'would you like me to park that car for you love, it's obviously too big for you?' Then yes that would be very offensive and degrading, but if he was just being perfectly polite and for example, trying to reach something on a shop shelf and saying to her 'excuse me love', then no it's not offensive to my way of thinking.

lottiegarbanzo Sun 18-Dec-16 18:50:12

Don't like it generally, especially from men but it does depend a lot on context. Can be endearing, if said endearingly, or inoffensively ordinary. Usually makes me think 'sexist old twonk'.

Often used in the context of a man telling a woman what to do / offering unwanted advice / making personal comments / seeking an ego-stroke, in which case, fuck off.

Kittenrush Sun 18-Dec-16 18:50:40

We call people lover or handsome because we are Cornish and we love everyone. But yeah it can be patronising. Like if I said OP you're being a bit sensitive love. That'd be rude grin
I can see both sides though. My DM absolutely hates being called love, especially by someone younger than herself. Drives her potty
I on the other hand respond to anything that isn't an insult.

JosephineMaynard Sun 18-Dec-16 18:51:14

"Love" is commonly used by both men and women round here.

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meG0es Sun 18-Dec-16 18:52:03

I don't mind it, it seems to be used fairly evenly by both sexes to both sexes, albeit fairly infrequently here (SE England).

pklme Sun 18-Dec-16 18:53:07

Totally depends how it is said.
A bus driver used to call me my sweetheart, while looking directly at me, and with real warmth. It made my day.

greynunu Sun 18-Dec-16 18:54:10

As long as it's used as a general term of address and not in a patronising manner it doesn't bother me. But being called the equivalent 'darl' when in Australia causes serious teeth grinding. Again, it's not generally used in a patronising manner, I just hate the sound of it!

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