would do you do with a sulker ?

[pipsqueak25]

i ignore them but what do you do ? - when it is an adult is it so irritating,

[WaryMary]

With adults and children I ignore. I intensely dislike it,

[JaneJeffer]

Ignore them and be outrageously cheerful.

[pinkieandperkie]

Ignore

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Who is the sulker in this case? Partner?

[LovelyBranches]

It depends. If it'a someone sulking out of genuine disappointment then I'll try and make them laugh or feel better.

If someone is sulking because they didn't get their own way and are acting like a spoilt brat then I tend to just leave them to it, but I find sulkers really affect my mood so I find it worthwhile to try and lighten things.

[gleam]

The best thing to do, imo, is leave them alone and let them come out of it in their own time.

To me a sulk is a hurt response, not a manipulative one.

[Wolfiefan]

No gleam. A hurt response is "you know yo really hurt me when ..."
Sulking is childish and an attempt to gain control. It's horrid.

[TataEs]

depends
i think i could be considered a sulker. this is because if i feel sad, mad, disappointed, upset i tend to go quiet for a bit to process those feelings and move on. it can take an hour or so. personally i'd rather be ignored, or have people carry on normally around me as ultimately talking about it or being called out on it won't change how long it will take me to process my feelings. i don't sulk in order to get my own way tho.
if someone's trying to manipulate you by sulking i'd just call them out it. 'i know you think if u sulk a bit then ill change my mind, but i won't, so either suck it up or come back when you're ready to move on'

[gleam]

I have to disagree, Wolfie.

[elodie2000]

If it's an adult, confront them. Tell them that you know that they are a) trying to manipulate you and that b) what they are doing is emotional blackmail. Tell them that it won't change anything & that it actually makes things worse.
I hate sulkers.

[HelenF350]

I ignore mine mostly, although occasionally my frustration gets the better off me.

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

I say, "Awwww, are you sulking? Are things not going your way?" and then carry on with my life.

[elodie2000]

gleam There's a big difference between someone who goes quiet/ into their shell when hurt & someone who activel sulks and gives the cold shoulder. Sulking is quite an aggressive action.

[Wolfiefan]

Gleam are you a sulker?!
Adults should be able to discuss their emotions rather than throwing a strop. A sulk does nothing to resolve a situation. It's like a passive aggressive tantrum!

[RockStonePebble]

LTB. Ex was a sulker. Sometimes wouldn't talk to me for 2 or 3 days after a minor disagreement. It was nothing to do with him being hurt and everything to do with punishing me for my supposed transgressions. No way to live.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

The best thing to do, imo, is leave them alone and let them come out of it in their own time.

Absolutely. There's nothing worse than trying to enjoy a good sulk and having to contend with someone determined to cheer you up.

I always came out of it much quicker as a child/teenager if I was just allowed some time to wallow.

[gleam]

Perhaps my idea of a sulker is different to most of yours?

TataEs's description is what I'm thinking of - a period of withdrawal where you get over whatever upset you and then you're fit to rejoin other people. But it takes a while and you can't just snap out if it. It's also not done with intent to get your own way.

How would you describe that, if not a sulk?

[Rachel0Greep]

Lived with a flatmate years ago who was a champion sulker. It would be nothing to do with anything I had done. She could be sulking about something work related, family related...
After a few episodes, she was quite aggrieved when she told me that she 'had decided she would speak to me again' and I pointed out that you cannot actually treat people like that...
As far as I remember, she stopped it then.
It's horrible, it's extremely childish and should not be entertained in an adult.

[Saracen]

Agree with gleam. I am quite a sulker. I know it is not easy or pleasant for others to deal with, but I cannot simply snap out of it at will - unless you want me to plaster a fake smile on and pretend everything is okay when it isn't.

Time fixes it. It's best for everyone if I can be alone for a while. Sometimes that isn't possible.

Dh deals brilliantly with my moods, because most of the time he genuinely doesn't notice them. Or he notices briefly, asks if there is anything he can do, then soon forgets that I was sulking and carries on as normal. This makes it easier for me to return to normal faster.

[elodie2000]

Gleam: How would you describe that, if not a sulk?
Feeling sad/ disappointed? Needing time to process...
A sulk is deliberate coldness towards another person designed to make them feel bad for what they have 'done' to you.
Yes, maybe your definition is different!

[Candlelight123]

Sorry but sulking is childish and ridiculous in an adult and if I was on the end of it I would have to say so in no uncertain terms (and I do). Being disappointed is one thing, we all feel this and you get over it, but sulking / cold shoulder is completely an other.

[Mypurplecaravan]

But if you are on the other side of it, then a quiet withdrawal can feel like a sulk.

I'm a trailer talker to process emotions. DH is a quiet introvert who withdraws. Some emotions are massive and take a few days to process. Some a couple of hours.

He dislikes me going on and on about a problem when I'll get to equilibrium in the end. I dislike it when he sulks.

Just different, equally potentially harmful, responses to emotion. There are very few people who will have overwhelming negative emotion and respond calmly always. How do they possibly process the emotion so quickly to do that instantly?