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To ask a very personal question about vaginas after birth?

(122 Posts)
PuppyCottonLane Sat 17-Dec-16 17:30:29

I've had 2 kids and before I had kids I hated the way my vagina in general looked. My labia always hung slightly lower than the outer lips if you see what I mean and gave a rather "man in a boat" appearance

When I had my daughter I had an episiotomy and required a lot of stitching for second degree tears. After the birth I noticed everything was a lot tighter.

When I had my DS he tore open the episiotomy scar and all the scar tissue from the tears and again I had to be sewn up. Some friends said that your vagina in general never looks the same after birth.

My husband commented to me yesterday that childbirth has changed the look of my nether regions. On enquiring what he meant he said that my labia no longer hangs down past my lips (he's right) and my outer lips are a lot tighter and not as loose.

Is this a common thing if you've had an episiotomy/required a lot of stitching? I'm just curious as to why the appearance had changed quite dramatically (to the point of where I'm no longer embarrassed) in the space of 3 years? Odd thread but can't imagine broaching this subject with the other mums at the school gates grin

PuppyCottonLane Sat 17-Dec-16 17:31:58

Ok after just googling labia seems I'm confused as to what a labia is 😂😂😂

Dilligaf81 Sat 17-Dec-16 17:37:00

Mone doesnt look any different (i dont think) after 4dc but my hubby did tell me it was beautiful the other week blush and i was a bit shock but a compliments a compliment.
I did have 4 large babies 10lb+ so maybe hes just shocked either of us can feel a thing!

FayKorgasm Sat 17-Dec-16 17:40:11

What did you think your labia were?

DH says my vagina doesn't look or feel any different.

cardibach Sat 17-Dec-16 17:42:36

No idea what mine looked like before or since. Neither do I care. This whole thread confuses me.

PuppyCottonLane Sat 17-Dec-16 17:43:23

According to google images the labia is the "lips" - I thought it was the bit in the middle?!

PuppyCottonLane Sat 17-Dec-16 17:46:38

cardibach why does it confuse you? I think you will find a lot of women care about the appearance of their vaginas

SpunBodgeSquarepants Sat 17-Dec-16 17:47:50

Two sets of labia - labia minora and labia majora. Labia majora are the 'outer' lips, with pubic hair. Labia minora are the softer 'inner' lips which protect the opening to the vagina.

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 17-Dec-16 17:48:47

Mine looks the same as it ever did now, but for about 4 months after the event it looked like a venus fly trap swallowing a bag of grapes.

gamerchick Sat 17-Dec-16 17:49:29

I haven't looked at mine in years. About 23 I think. What's the point?

FayKorgasm Sat 17-Dec-16 17:49:48

The labia minora are the inner lips and the labia majora are the outer lips. It's very normal for the inner to be longer than the outer.

HeyRoly Sat 17-Dec-16 17:50:45

There are two sets of lips, dude.

I had a third degree tear and nothing looks any different.

Also, there's nothing wrong with inner labia that protrude from the outer labia. Porn has made women think that only "invisible" labia minora are normal. It makes me really sad that so many women think their vulvas are abnormal and ugly when - let's face it - genitalia aren't supposed to be pretty.

5000candlesinthewind Sat 17-Dec-16 17:52:28

I don't have a clue tbh, I barely look down there.

KayTee87 Sat 17-Dec-16 17:52:44

I don't really look at mine but a couple of months after giving birth I braved a mirror (had a tear and an episiotomy) and was shocked at how neat it looked. I was expecting a right mess blush, sex doesn't feel the same 4& a half months later but I blame the forceps rather than the stitches.

FatOldBag Sat 17-Dec-16 18:02:41

Mine looked different after my first baby. I went to the GP and asked if it looked normal and he kindly said he'd fetch the contraception nurse who sees them all the time, as it wasn't really his area (I think he meant he was gay, he wasn't really confident to look at one and say how it looked). Nurse said it was fine and childbirth always changes the look of it a bit. I think it was still just recovering from the damage though at that time. It looks back to normal now.

Me624 Sat 17-Dec-16 18:03:25

Mine looks different. Before having DS it was very neat and closed. Now (9 months on) the outer lips gape slightly and on one side look crinkled, like someone cut it with those crinkly scissors! No idea how that happened during the shitstorm that was DS's exit! The episiostomy scar has healed ok though and DH says nothing feels any different (he may be just being polite)

Benedikte2 Sat 17-Dec-16 18:03:26

I'm shocked that so many women receive tears. I thought it was good management to do an episiotomy so that one wouldn't tear and it could be more neatly repaired.

MatildaTheCat Sat 17-Dec-16 18:05:25

Well obviously giving birth and then repairing tears or episiotomies is going to alter the anatomy of your vulva to some degree. What's a bit weird is focusing on the appearance to this degree. If it hurts or feels wrong then fair enough but most of us do not spend much any time inspecting and discussing our genitals.

I'm confused but you seem pleased with the outcome so maybe put down the mirror ( or are you very bendy?) and get on with something else?

HeyRoly Sat 17-Dec-16 18:06:30

Prophylactic episiotomies are no longer considered good practice Benedikte.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 17-Dec-16 18:06:49

Tears heal better Benedikte2

MistresssIggi Sat 17-Dec-16 18:07:57

I'm pretty sure the words "man in a boat" has never crossed my dh's mind when he looks down there.

FayKorgasm Sat 17-Dec-16 18:08:27

It's thought that a tear is more likely to heal better. Episiotomy is generally only done if absolutely needed.

HuckleberryGin Sat 17-Dec-16 18:09:59

Mine looks different, some scar tissue. But I've never cared what it looked like really.

GhostOfChristmasYetToCome Sat 17-Dec-16 18:11:13

Mine was all tucked away neatly before childbirth and still is. There's nothing on show. I did have stitches, but can't have been many, I don't think.

It doesn't really look or feel any different to me and if anyone ever gets that close again, they won't have anything to compare it to anyway!

Pollyanna9 Sat 17-Dec-16 18:20:23


Your vagina and your vulva are two friggin' different things - do you not know the different parts?!!

The vagina is the birth canal through which the baby passes to be born; the vulva is the inner and outer labia - the vagina is not the vulva and the vulva is not the vagina.

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