Background:
I live away from home but fly back fairly often (usually at least every two months) to spend time with my dad and best friend. The more frequent travel home started when my gran was terminally ill - sometimes it was every weekend. She passed away over two years ago which hit me incredibly hard but my dad and I became much closer as a result so I love going home to see him.
He's going away this Christmas (as he often does) but I still planned to fly home to see best friend and other family - my grandad and my aunt. Two years ago I spent Christmas with them (the first since my gran passed - previously always spent Christmas with them for 6/7 years) so I'd assumed we'd be spending it together again this year.
I started a new job in October and am earning a fair bit more each month so I was really looking forward to being able to spoil my grandad, aunt and her daughter as a 'thank you for having me' sort of thing.
I was at home having a 'mini christmas' with my dad last weekend and found out that my aunt and granda have both been saying that they 'don't want me'. I did find it strange that neither of them had mentioned Christmas to me - no phone calls, messages etc. (I'd texted aunt to see what cousin was into these days and no mention even then) but I thought they'd just catch up with me nearer the time.
Their reasoning is that they feel I 'don't bother about them' which to be fair I can't exactly argue with...I pop down to my aunt's house sometimes when I'm home and see my grandad when he comes to dad's for Sunday lunch but I don't specifically make plans to see them. However, in the two years since my gran passed I've not had a single invitation from either of them to visit, do something etc.
My best friend and I had planned to spend a lot of Christmas together anyway and now she's saying that her mum's expecting me to stay with them for Christmas (I can stay at dad's for some of the time too) - I feel a bit like I'm imposing on them but also really thankful for their kind offer.
Now I'm feeling like I'd be better spending the bit of extra cash on treats for my friend's family as opposed to spoiling my own. I'd already bought various things for my aunt and cousin (skincare, lego etc.) but part of me wants to return it and just pick up some nice token chocolates from Hotel Chocolat and pass those on if they bother to see me at all when I'm back.
Or am I just over-reacting and should I give the gifts I've already got?
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12 replies
SpangledBoots · 17/12/2016 17:00
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