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AIBU... Unannounced Visitors

(211 Posts)
LouBlue1507 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:30:22

Hi Ladies!

Just wondering other people's views on unannounced visitors?

I hate it, and it stresses me out massively! I find it rude and would never do it to someone else.

WhooooAmI24601 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:32:53

My family do it often. DH's family don't. Neither bothers me at all, except when my Mum phones and says "where are you, we dropped in and now you're not here" and we're fifty miles from home at a zoo. I don't know that it's rude; surely a spur-of-the-moment visit from friends and family is always nice?

MrsDustyBusty Sat 17-Dec-16 13:33:05

Who qualifies as a visitor? Does your mum need to give advance notice of a visit, for example?

Bluntness100 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:33:18

I never do it either. But I have friends who do this. Just front up and don't even text in advance or on the way. I don't mind and it's lovely to see them but I would think a text on the way would be kinda nice.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 17-Dec-16 13:33:34

Unexpected visitors??

duskonthelawn Sat 17-Dec-16 13:34:10

If I'm not in the mood I just don't answer the door smile and if I get a text I pretend I was asleep/bathing DD depending on the time of day.

BingBongBingBong Sat 17-Dec-16 13:35:15

I fucking hate it. Even my own mother and I adore her. I need a 'we are round the corner and want to pop in, will be around in 5 minutes' warning text or call at least! I don't know why but I just do not like unannounced guests it stresses me out so much. Need a few minutes to mentally prepare.

MollyRedskirts Sat 17-Dec-16 13:36:13


I also hate short notice visitors. They're even worse in a way as I feel tricked into it. My mum might ring and ask what I'm up to, I'll say 'Oh, nothing' and she'll go 'I'm just at Blah Blah, only five minutes away. I'll drop in!'.

I fall for it every time. sad

scottishdiem Sat 17-Dec-16 13:38:26

You are totally not being unreasonable. DP and I hate it. We dont mind people coming and staying and have spare room for dinner and overnight stays. But every visit is planned.

thefrizzyhairedcommunity Sat 17-Dec-16 13:39:45

I cannot stand it.

Topseyt Sat 17-Dec-16 13:39:58

We don't tend to get them, which is probably because no family live nearby.

We don't tend to do them either.

I have nothing against visitors, unannounced or otherwise. It just isn't something that tends to happen in our family circles.

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 17-Dec-16 13:40:01

DH's aunty and uncle do it. Last time I hid from them. blush I was ill and in my nightie though.

megletthesecond Sat 17-Dec-16 13:41:25

Very rude.

At the very least I'd expect a text an hour or so ahead from some who lives locally to give me time to get presentably dressed and straighten up the house.

dingdongthewitchishere Sat 17-Dec-16 13:43:06

I hate it.

People who do that seem to think that they are more important than your current plans. I am afraid they are not. We have things to do most days, and someone dropping by means we will be late, or will have to cancel something. It's very awkward when you already have visitors.

I don't mind when the kids are off school in the summer, and we can go to the beach another day, but during school year it's very annoying.

NavyandWhite Sat 17-Dec-16 13:43:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadisonAvenue Sat 17-Dec-16 13:44:23

My family don't do this but my husband's lot think it's fair enough to just drop by with no notice if they're nearby, and they all live around 200 miles away so it's not always the matter of a quick coffee and they're gone. I hate it. They don't even call to say that they may call in, they just land up on the doorstep.

Actually, I'm lying. His sister called in advance once, a year or so ago, to say she'd be in the area one Saturday so would come to see us so we changed plans and waited in all day and she never came.

Saying all of that, I've just had my lovely friend call around unannounced and it didn't bother me one bit, it was lovely to see her.
Perhaps I should just say that I have a problem with my in laws turning up warning grin

LouBlue1507 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:44:28

MollyRedskirts I'm exactly the same! Short notice visitors are a no go too! Hate it with a passion!
'Oh we're just at xyz, can we stop for '5 mins' on the way though?'
No sorry we're busy! We usually are tbf! Haha!

KC225 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:45:40

This is currently the bane of my life. I have moved from London to rural Sweden and not only do people turn up unannounced they just walk in. And yes. I locked the front door but they walk round the back and wander in. One walked in on DH and I having a proper full on row. He must have heard it from the outside but still came in. I HATE IT.

YelloDraw Sat 17-Dec-16 13:47:23

I like it. If I'm home I'm not usually doing something that can't be delayed by 15 mins for you to come in and have a cup of tea.

gamerwidow Sat 17-Dec-16 13:50:58

I hate it. I get so little downtime I hate people impinging on it.

Muddlewitch Sat 17-Dec-16 13:51:45

I absolutely hate this too, I think it's really
rude. As a pp said it conveys a message of 'I'm more important that anything else that you may be doing or have planned.'

Chocolatecake12 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:54:22

And when they pop in the house always a mess!!

Autumnchill Sat 17-Dec-16 13:54:51

I don't mind it but if anyone turns up in the next 10 minutes I'll be annoyed as going to have a cheeky afternoon snooze smile

SquedgieBeckenheim Sat 17-Dec-16 13:55:31

I hate it, luckily it doesn't generally happen to us. It's one of the reasons I will never willingly move near to in laws as they do this to everyone!

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 17-Dec-16 13:58:50

My mum 'just pops in'.

Parks on our drive, spreads her coat and belongs over one sofa, gets out the cat treats from my kitchen drawer and spreads those fuckers all over the carpet, plonks down in the middle of the other sofa and gets out knitting (so by this point taking up both sofas).

Sometimes she'll go a step further and recline the sofa which knocks into the cup of tea on the small table I've just fucking put there and spills tea all over my carpet.

Is just tedious.

I prefer more organised, measured visits.

She'll also pop round after night shifts while I'm watching Netflix in my pyjamas with the curtains closed and starts asking if I'm I'll and popping out medication from the sack of it she carries around with her.


Was nice to get that out. Thanks!!

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