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AIBU?

To send a Christmas card to friend

25 replies

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 13:01

A few months ago I wa supposed to be going to a party, and I didn't go, I did text and apologise. But I haven't heard from friend again. Should I send a Christmas card to her or have I killed the friendship?

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ShowMePotatoSalad · 17/12/2016 13:03

Just send her a card. Don't overthink it. I'm terrible at texting people back but it doesn't mean I don't like them - I'm just shite. I'm sure she'd love to get a card from you.

ilovesooty · 17/12/2016 13:03

So you didn't even have the manners to call and speak to her?

I doubt if sending a card would make any difference one way or the other.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 13:06

I should, I agree, have called but I was pretty tearful and upset.

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ShowMePotatoSalad · 17/12/2016 13:08

Texting your apologies isn't bad IMO. It's only a party. A good friend wouldn't hold it against you. I'm sure she still wants to be friends. Extend the olive holly branch.

monkeywithacowface · 17/12/2016 13:09

Did you text before or after the party?

Only1scoop · 17/12/2016 13:10

Yes send a card

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 13:11

Oh, before. I said 'sorry' about a million times! I think she thinks I thought I was too good for the party and I did want to go.

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baconandeggies · 17/12/2016 13:11

A text is fine and perfectly normal Sooty, don't worry about that OP. She was either rude or absent minded for not replying. Send a card.

baconandeggies · 17/12/2016 13:13

Oh you texted after the party? Or before? Or during?

GeekyWombat · 17/12/2016 13:16

Send it.

Ginkypig · 17/12/2016 13:16

Unless there is more to this what youv described is you missed one party and she dropped you as a friend?

You have txt and called to apologise (although you were tears and upset) but it's made no difference.

Well if that's the case she doesn't sound like a good friend to you so why do you want to try to rekindle it?

It's up to you though, the worst that can happen is she ignores the card so you've lost nothing.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 17/12/2016 13:18

My friends and I have had to cancel on each other so many times for different reasons. It's just one of those things, we don't hold it against each other and rearrange. Your friend is being really petty if she's holding it against you. I'd send the card and see what happens but I certainly wouldn't lose sleep about it!

drinkingchanelno5 · 17/12/2016 13:25

I suppose the key is whether you have form for being a flake in general. Do you cancel on her often? Or was it a one off? If the former maybe she's just over the friendship.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 13:31

No, I've never cancelled before on her. I did text before the party but only just before.

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bluebeck · 17/12/2016 13:35

I would send her a card, and if you don't hear back write the friendship off.

ilovesooty · 17/12/2016 13:44

Obviously bacon we will have to agree to differ on that.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 13:46

I do agree with you ils

I suppose what I'm asking is if it's worth trying to explain and apologise or is it best left?

I need all the friends I can get!

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MrsDustyBusty · 17/12/2016 13:48

Why do you think she thinks you were too good for the party? Was it hosted in the local drug den or something?

ilovesooty · 17/12/2016 13:49

If I were you I'd send that card and include a letter with it explaining. If she doesn't want to be your friend after that at least you've tried.

keekaw · 17/12/2016 13:55

Are posters seriously suggesting that not going to a friend's party is enough to kill a friendship? think all my friends have cancelled at one time or another.

Just send the card, OP

Autumnchill · 17/12/2016 13:56

Send the card and put in it that you hope you can catch up soon, lunch on you? Ball is in her court then.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 14:08

Oh, it's a long story. I'll do that, ils The reason I gave was actually true but it was so ridiculous it sounded like it wasn't. I probably should have just said DD was ill!

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baconandeggies · 17/12/2016 15:41

I really don't think you need to grovel any more than you already have done... If your cancelling was just before the party and completely out of the blue then as your friend I'd have contacted you some time afterwards to check if everything was ok.

You said you were upset and tearful and that you told her about it, so it must have been something you'd expect a friend to care enough about that she'd check in with you after the party or within a few days.

But she didn't. So she either didn't believe you (which makes her a suspicious cow) or she doesn't care about you (which makes her a horrible cow who isn't your friend).

Do you have healthy self-esteem?

baconandeggies · 17/12/2016 15:42

and I'm not sure a suspicious cow is a good friend either, really.

You can't change people.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/12/2016 22:30

She has sent a text to say thanks

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