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To not understand how they can simply assume people are oblivious to what's going on

(101 Posts)
Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 12:48:39

I'll jump straight in. I'be believed for a while that a friend of mine is committing benefit fraud. She and her partner have three children. They bought a home together, lived in it for a while and then announced they were splitting up for good this time (they were strangely always on and off). He moved out of the house and she remained for a while until she secured a private rented property. This was two years ago. Her partner moved a mere mile away and is living with his grandad and they both continue to live like a couple. There are tons of reasons why it doesn't seem right but I'd be here all day. Basically people in her family and mutual friends of ours have noticed how "friendly" her and her ex still are (I know that's allowed but in this case it's way ott) and they all believe that they are living the way they for convieniencr but also so that they can fiddle benefits. He works full time self employed and she is a sahm with the children.

I've been drifting apart from her for a while as I believe she is lying to me and spinning me a load of bull and quite frankly I can't be doing with it. I haven't spoken to her in a couple of weeks but her cousin has told me something that just seems odd. Apparently they are letting their house get repossessed. The mortgage hasn't been paid for months since their tenant left but her partner earns a decent wage, isn't paying any rent at his grandad's house so would easily afford the mortgage. Well I've figured it out (it's not hard) they simply don't want to pay the mortgage anymore. She gets most of rent payed by the council and he doesn't pay anything at all to his granddad. So between them they won't have a full rent/mortgage I pay and will therefore have plenty of spare cash.

I just think it's all bollocks but the funny thing is they assume that everyone around them has just fallen for it and believe what they say. They both apparently don't want to have any shared finances and want to be independent. But the amazing thing with that is they still live in each other's pockets, go on short breaks together, out for meals, etc etc. They are a couple and just won't admit so they can gain financially. Aibu to not contact her anymore? I detest liars but for her to lie to her family is just disgusting. She wants sympathy and is playing her part of the distressed single parent well but I have a nose for bullshit and as it appears so do most of her family.

Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 12:51:07

So sorry for all of the typos.

cherrycrumblecustard Sat 17-Dec-16 12:53:00

It's a bit far fetched that someone would let a house be repossessed?

ShowMePotatoSalad Sat 17-Dec-16 12:53:12

You don't know any of this for sure though do you? Sounds like a load of titte-tattle to me. I wouldn't make judgements of people based on hearsay.

If you don't like her, don't be friends with her. Simple.

BogwashBarry Sat 17-Dec-16 12:54:20

I'd keep well out of it if a I were you.

Oliversmumsarmy Sat 17-Dec-16 12:58:35

If what you describe is benefits fraud then no one on benefits would be allowed to have friends.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 17-Dec-16 12:59:44

Sounds like bullshit.

Who'd let a house get repossessed unless they had no choice. You'd never get credit again. And I doubt anyone in thus country would choose the insecurity of renting over owning a house.

LeadPipe Sat 17-Dec-16 13:00:17

What is the benefit in having your home repossessed? Don't you lose all your equity? How is that fraud? I don't understand this at all.

Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:00:41

But I do know this though. The only "gossip" I've heard was from her cousin who knows her better than me but the rest has come from the horse's mouth. How is it far fetched but the way? They don't want a mortgage hanging around their necks and by letting it get into arrears they are I a position were it is likely to be repossessed.

pipsqueak25 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:01:11

i'd drop the 'friendship', drop out of her life and her business.

ilovesooty Sat 17-Dec-16 13:01:24

I think she'd be well rid of you quite frankly.

Warl Sat 17-Dec-16 13:02:28

I do understand where you are coming from OP.

My oldest friend & her DP have very similar situation, they have a DD aged 4, they bought a house together, split up, she now lives in a private rent & £450 a month towards it. He rents the house he bought out to his sister for £700 a month & moved back home with his parents.

2 months later they're back together, both living in the rented house when he's at home, he works away for 3 weeks at a time & back for 1 but apart as far as council etc are concerned with all his mail going to his parents.

On top of his substantial wage, the rent he gets for his house, the money she gets paid towards the rental she also gets ££££'s of other benefits including working tax credits as she work 16 hours on paper but double that again what she gets cash in hand.

It really winds me up sometimes tbh but you will always get those that play system & it appears the more brazen you are the less likely you are to actually get caught but I just let them get on with it, I couldn't live my life worrying for a knock on the door or summons through the letter box.

So as others have said just leave them to it & keep out of it, I do

LeadPipe Sat 17-Dec-16 13:02:37

I agree sooty.

Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:02:48

Think want you will but I assure you it's not bullshit. My friend has been trying to get a house with the council (which she makes out its something to aspire to) but they won't allow her on the list whilst she still owns a property. If she gets rid of it then she'd be eligible.

LeadPipe Sat 17-Dec-16 13:04:02

But why not just sell?

Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:05:10

Lead pipe that isn't fraud. What's fraud is that they are still in a long term relationship yet she claims benefits as a single person.

whirlygirly Sat 17-Dec-16 13:06:56

You sound way too invested in her situation.

Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:07:47

I asked her this question and she said that they wouldn't sell it for what they need. She seems to think that she can just give the keys back and then make a life long payment plan with the mortgage provider add that they'll just accept it. If they do manage to get it repossess she'll no longer own a property and I guarantee she will have a house with the council within six months and have her "ex" move back in with her.

Lewwat Sat 17-Dec-16 13:07:54

Repossession makes no sense tho! Why not just sell it. They are throwing away any equity by doing it this way!!
You sound very bitter. If you think it's fraud, report her! Stop bitching about your "friend" on the Internet

SaucyJack Sat 17-Dec-16 13:09:07

"What's fraud is that they are still in a long term relationship yet she claims benefits as a single person."

It doesn't sound as tho they are committing benefit fraud from what you've stated here, if they live separately and have separate finances.

The DWP are only really interested in the money aspect of it. They're not particularly concerned with whether you shag your ex every now and then for old times sake.

Rocky246 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:09:19

I'm not invested I simply became sick of hearing all of her tales of woe when I knew deep down it was a load of crap. Like I said we have mutual friends and it's not fair on them (the ones who don't realise it's all a scam) that they have to put up with all of her poor me stories.

anyoldname76 Sat 17-Dec-16 13:10:30

just report her then, let them decide whether she is claiming benefits fraudulently or not.

diamondofdoom Sat 17-Dec-16 13:11:22

But she's living away from her DP so it doesn't matter if she's in a relationship or not. The benefits would only change if they were living together, which they're not. Otherwise everyone on benefits who has a partner but doesn't live with them would be committing fraud hmm

Just keep your nose out tbh wink

Feelinglikeafailure Sat 17-Dec-16 13:12:04

Pull your judgy pants down and walk away from this "friendship"

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 17-Dec-16 13:12:59

They don't have to put up with her woe is me stories.

Buy them all ear plugs for Christmas.

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