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Not invited to works Christmas party

(16 Posts)
mum19821985 Sat 17-Dec-16 11:59:27

Hiya, I'm currently on maternity leave with a 6 month old. I've just found out through an ex colleague that it's the works Christmas party tonight. I'm a bit upset that I didn't receive an invite. I know I am on maternity leave and haven't really seen anyone from work but it would have been nice to have been included. Also when I had my daughter I had no card from them. This is a big company and I have been there for 4.5 years. I always chipped in for cards/money when someone left and when my boss had a baby they sent her a lovely card and gift 🙁 I get on with everyone I work with, although as I live far away have never been able to properly socialise with everyone

notnowbernadette Sat 17-Dec-16 12:05:40

It is a bit poor that you've been left out of this so I don't think you are being unreasonable to feel disappointed. Is your manager normally a bit absent minded when it comes to things like this?

Bunkai Sat 17-Dec-16 12:08:27

They probably haven't done it on purpose. Why don't you contact them and get yourself out tonight?

MaverickSnoopy Sat 17-Dec-16 12:08:31

That's poor but I expect it will be an oversight. I am on mat leave and contacted the organiser to remind her to include me on the generic invitation. Often these events are planned by admin staff as an extra job, they're busy and simply don't think about it. Did you say you wanted to be updated/contacted while off? If so it wouldn't have been hard for HR to send a reminder to the organiser. I honestly don't think that you've purposely been excluded.

NauseousKitty Sat 17-Dec-16 12:10:54

Be grateful! I went to mine last night and it was like an episode of Mean Girls! I wasn't invited to Christmas parties during either of my maternity leaves either, but was quite relieved really. It's a very personal thing though - sorry you feel upset.

Bubbinsmakesthree Sat 17-Dec-16 12:17:24

I wasn't invited to the office part when I was on maternity leave - TBH it never even occurred to me that I would go.

nat73 Sat 17-Dec-16 12:22:27

I wouldn't be hurt - this is more likely to be an oversight than anything. Most works Christmas parties are to be endured so go out with a friend instead!!

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 17-Dec-16 12:26:26

The lack of card/acknowledgement of your baby would piss me off more than the lack of invite to a Christmas party.

I mean, when you had your baby, you hadn't been off that long, had you? So they'd had less time to forget you, as it were. 6m later though it's far more likely that you just didn't cross their minds, sorry! Or possibly you did, but some other person who has had babies said "Oh she wouldn't want/be able to come out with such a young baby" - some people don't, after all.

The lack of card is just rude though.

PotteringAlong Sat 17-Dec-16 12:27:22

You're on maternity leave; it won't have crossed anyone's mind to invite you or that you would expect to be invited I don't think.

harderandharder2breathe Sat 17-Dec-16 12:37:45

I'm off on long term sick (MH issues) and wasn't invited to either the main one or my teams one. I do feel left out.

In my workplace we would do card and gift when someone left for mat leave, rather than when the baby was born. If you got something before you left I wouldn't expect something when she was born.

mum19821985 Sat 17-Dec-16 12:38:11

To be honest I am more upset about the lack of a card when my baby was born as they are a company that always sends cards/has a whip around etc. I wouldn't have gone tonight anyway as I'm ill today. It was the two instances together plus I heard off an ex colleague who left two years ago who was invited. I don't believe it was done deliberately and was probably an oversight.

mum19821985 Sat 17-Dec-16 12:43:15

I didn't have anything when I left either. When my boss went on mat leave we waited until we knew the sex of the baby and a colleague dropped stuff round. It's not about the "stuff" but a card with well wishes or a visit would have been nice. I feel silly and over sensitive now but I feel like I don't want to go back to work! Lol

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 17-Dec-16 12:49:54

I'm guessing someone has just sent an invite to a current list of people who receive work related emails; and you're not on it as you're on maternity. It's extremely unlikely to be at all personal.

Get well soon flowers

mum19821985 Sat 17-Dec-16 12:54:04

Aww thank you. Yeah that's how the invites have been sent out in the past. I'll probably get the invite when I go back in 6 months ha ha

2ndSopranos Sat 17-Dec-16 13:00:59

I wasn't invited to our Christmas lunch because most of my colleagues hate me. No love lost: some of them have made it their mission to be as unpleasant as possible and I refuse to spent even a second with any of them in my own time.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile Sat 17-Dec-16 13:01:52

A girl in my department who had worked there for 14 years got married and no-one in her department collected for a card or gift. I didn't find out until she came back from honeymoon (I had been off sick and thought I had just missed the collection).

But when I went to congratulate her and I've her a card I'd got as I'd been off, and she was really upset that she hadn't had so much as a card - she had given towards other people's weddings, babies, birthdays and leaving presents, snd no-one had even bought her a card. (It was her second marriage - she had been widowed at the very early age of 32 - her husband had a massive stroke (it's not just old people)).

Anyway - I collected for her because I felt ashamed of the whole bloody lot of them! There was some whinging and complaining ("but it's all over and done with now" etc) but most gave and we got her a card and gift. It's not that I'm a saint - far from it - but fair do's, people - fair do's.

they were as tight as fishes' when it came to me, too, but I expected that as I'd p*ssed them off over her.

Some people are just gifs.

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