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Best friend called DD unpleasant names

(122 Posts)
Exileinengland1999 Fri 16-Dec-16 16:51:29

Basically my best friend of 20 yrs doesn't have kids but is ttc at 41. I met her today with my DD who is 4, tired from school and grumpy and had a meltdown. Best friend said 'God that child is a fucking horror'. DD really isn't- she's tired and a normal 4 year old.
I'm really upset! Aibu to say something as I was too shocked at the time!

NavyandWhite Fri 16-Dec-16 16:53:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrivatePike Fri 16-Dec-16 16:53:43


DearMrDilkington Fri 16-Dec-16 16:54:25

She called your child 'a fucking horror' right in front of her?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 16-Dec-16 16:54:27

I think a lot of people who don't have kids find tantrums and meltdowns horrifying! I imagine it was said in jest but in case not, tell her she's upset you.

sophiestew Fri 16-Dec-16 16:55:31

Can you describe this "meltdown?"

pepperpot99 Fri 16-Dec-16 16:56:33

Yikes- how rude.

Exileinengland1999 Fri 16-Dec-16 16:56:45

She wasn't being 'spirited'- she was having a meltdown like many tired kids do- but friend did call her a fucking horror in front of DD! That's why I am upset!

OohMavis Fri 16-Dec-16 16:57:44

Regardless, calling a child a 'fucking horror' is pretty despicable.

eyebrowsonfleek Fri 16-Dec-16 16:57:57

To a childless person or a person who's forgotten what young children are like, a child having a tantrum is a "horror". They may not realise that they should have called their behaviour rather than the child horrible.

I think that in future, you shouldn't take tired dd with you to see her. If she has a child, she will realise what kids are like.

zzzzz Fri 16-Dec-16 16:58:09

I hope you told her to fuck off.

bittapitta Fri 16-Dec-16 16:59:20

Saying it in front of DD is absolutely not okay at all!

Saying it at all is pretty bad too in my book, but some replies here already suggest that maybe they'd expect a bit of honesty if a child was being a fucking horror wink

DearMrDilkington Fri 16-Dec-16 17:00:13

Where was the meltdown and how bad was it though?

I mean if it happened at your friends house and your dd was kicking your friends cat up the arse, then your friend would have a point. Need more information

SianiMoomin Fri 16-Dec-16 17:00:34

Doesn't really matter if the DD was being "spirited" or not - you don't swear about a child in the presence of the child and it's mother who is supposed to be a friend! Think it even, sure, but don't say it out loud!

If my friend did that, she would no longer be a friend.

NavyandWhite Fri 16-Dec-16 17:01:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LotsoNumbers Fri 16-Dec-16 17:01:27

Was it a proper full on ASD meltdown or was it a 4 year old tantrum?

Frusso Fri 16-Dec-16 17:01:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bittapitta Fri 16-Dec-16 17:02:12

Say something to her if you like, but it won't end well - or just keep your distance especially when with DD. When she questions it, say she made it clear she doesn't like being around your DD so you can't see her as often (ie unless you're without DD)

heebiejeebie Fri 16-Dec-16 17:03:04

What strange responses. Clearly it is extremely rude to swear about someone/anyone/a child in front of them. However unpleasant your child was being, she s 4 and your friend 10x her age.

bittapitta Fri 16-Dec-16 17:03:25

LotsoNumbers in which circumstance would it be okay to call a 4yo child a fucking horror in full earshot of the child, just for future reference?

DearMrDilkington Fri 16-Dec-16 17:05:14

pitta I'd imagine when a child is deliberately smashing things that don't belong to them or deliberately hurting an animal/person.

Longdistance Fri 16-Dec-16 17:05:22

Well, she's in for a shock with parenthood then grin

Yanbu, what a cow your friend is. I'd have been fuming 😤

Footinmouthasusual Fri 16-Dec-16 17:06:09

She sounds horrible and most probably jealous op. I wouldn't want anyone swearing about my children and in front of them a totally unacceptable.

I would distance myself and my dd.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Fri 16-Dec-16 17:06:36

That's fucking rude.

Just wait til it's her turn...and laugh and laugh and laugh.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Fri 16-Dec-16 17:06:44

You're not unreasonable to say something to your friend. You're close and have known each other for most of your lives so you are probably like sisters (and sisters can be brutal sometimes.)

She's said something really hurtful and you deserve an apology. When faced with a tantrum, the last thing you need is an onlooker tutting and passing judgement. I hope she is kicking herself for blurting that out.

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