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Would you try someone else's wedding dress on?

(214 Posts)
WinterIsHereJon Fri 16-Dec-16 07:35:24

I'm getting married next year. Bought my dress a couple of months ago, and it's been living at my mums house away from where DP could see it. I was talking to my gran last night, who accidentally let slip that when she last came to visit both my mum and my sister tried my dress on for fun. I'm really upset and angry; it's supposed to be special but sort of feels less so now somehow. My mum and I have now fallen out as it was "just a bit of fun". I can't believe they would think it was ok! AIBU or overreacting?

WinterIsHereJon Fri 16-Dec-16 07:37:00

Apologies for too many "on"s in title!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 16-Dec-16 07:37:04

Yanbu at all!

RochelleGoyle Fri 16-Dec-16 07:37:05

WTF? YANBU, I'd be really pissed off too.

Oddbins Fri 16-Dec-16 07:38:57

I'd be quite upset too
They tend to be quite delicate and it could have been damaged but there is also secrecy around a wedding dress I wouldn't like people seeing mine without my permission let alone trying it on.

TheFear Fri 16-Dec-16 07:39:59

I think yabu, it's a dress, is not as if it's now soiled or destroyed. If your gran hadn't told you then you would have been none the wiser.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Fri 16-Dec-16 07:40:40

That's not on, if you'd been there and offered it would be different but that's not what happened. I wouldn't have wanted someone else to wear my wedding dress before me,though now I've been married years I wouldn't care if my sister or whoever wanted to try it on. Like you say it should be special for your big day. Any bridesmaids who could look after it for you instead?

Bettyspants Fri 16-Dec-16 07:42:14

Yanbu. It's not just a dress at all. I'd be really upset if anyone had tried mine on , particularly without asking! Cheeky rude and incredibly inconsiderate

Joinourclub Fri 16-Dec-16 07:45:54

Well, I understand you being pissed off because they were out of order. And they know it, that why they didn't tell you! But this isn't worth falling out over. Tell them you were upset, tell them not to do it again and then move on.

RoseGoldHippie Fri 16-Dec-16 07:49:33

No, I personally wouldn't. It's the same as rings, when my friend was getting married 3 of us went with her to pick the wedding bands up and the other friend put it on her wedding finger! The one getting married was quite upset (didn't show it obvs but I could tell) she told me later that she had wanted the first time the rings to be on someone was on her wedding day and now felt some of that has been lost.

People do some strange things, but I don't think YABU to be upset that your dress is now a source of entertainment for your family members!

ThatsWhatYouDo Fri 16-Dec-16 07:51:42

YANBU.

No one should have worn that dress except you. It's incredibly disrespectful of them to do this. I would be very very upset.

TheNaze73 Fri 16-Dec-16 07:52:45

People should not do stuff like that without permission. YANBU

thefrizzyhairedcommunity Fri 16-Dec-16 07:54:24

YANBU

GravyAndShite Fri 16-Dec-16 07:56:56

Ooooh! Granny is a shitstirrer, isn't she!

YANBU, but what you didn't know couldn't have hurt you.

Bluntness100 Fri 16-Dec-16 07:57:19

They shouldn't have done it, I guess that's why they didn't mention it. However I'd also let it go, it was probably a stupid spur of the moment type thing and they now regret being so silly.

gunsandbanjos Fri 16-Dec-16 07:57:39

No I wouldn't, YANBU.

I wouldn't fall out over it but I'd let them know they had overstepped big time.

Trying it on before your wedding, without you there and your permission?!?
Hell no!! YANBU

specialsubject Fri 16-Dec-16 08:00:59

It is just a dress, marriage is the important bit, not a frilly frock. Otherwise there would be no market for second hand ones!

As long as they haven't messed it up, non issue.

cantmakeme Fri 16-Dec-16 08:01:27

I wouldn't fall out over it. It was a bit silly though, as they could have ripped it / got make up on it or something.
As for the friend trying on the ring rosegoldhippie I can't believe that anyone would be upset over that. Some people must be just trying to get offended!

GinIsIn Fri 16-Dec-16 08:01:43

Y are absolutely not BU - what if they'd damaged it?! Or got it grubby? Who does that?!

coffeetasteslikeshit Fri 16-Dec-16 08:01:55

YABU. It's a dress.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Fri 16-Dec-16 08:03:02

Ooh, YANBU! That's not acceptable.

My sister tried mine on, but only when I was there and because I suggested it (she ended up having it altered and wearing it for her own wedding in the end!). If she'd helped herself to it I'd be really cross.

StarsHollow123 Fri 16-Dec-16 08:04:47

YANBU

They knew it was wrong or they would have done it whilst you were there or told you about it themselves. Sorry OP, I'd arrange for it to live elsewhere.

Silverdream Fri 16-Dec-16 08:05:11

No they shouldn't have and they probably know it was wrong but are making it out not to be to save face.
Try not to let it eat you up.
I would say to your mum sister and nan, you hurt my feelings doing that. Say nothing else at all. Just that. What ever they say just say. You hurt my feelings by trying it on. They can't argue with that. But try to not let it ruin your day and memories. It's done. They got carrried away and didn't engage brain

Kirstyinnorway Fri 16-Dec-16 08:07:21

YAdefinitelyNBU!! Good lord I might have exploded if that were me. They knew it was wrong, that's why it was a secret. It's not "a bit of fun" if you weren't in on it! What if a bit of makeup had rubbed off on it, or it had got slightly damaged? Even if not, there is a lot of joy in putting on a brand new item of clothing for your wedding day. It would feel less "new" to be now after two other bodies had been in it. Oh OP I'm genuinely a bit sad for you - especially over their reactions. sad

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