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AIBU?

Just walked in on DH masterbating

79 replies

smegsmeg · 16/12/2016 01:28

Just walked into our computer room to find my DH masterbating to something on the computer (I think it was bondage type porn). I left immediately and took the dog out, feel so awkward as I was in the house why didn't he just pursue me?

Wwyd? Has anyone else walked in on that before?

OP posts:

Report

PannusAngelicus · 16/12/2016 01:29

yes... my dad! that was so mortifying, we both blanked it.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 16/12/2016 01:48

as I was in the house why didn't he just pursue me?

Oh don't worry it's no reflection of you. He just wanted a quick wank I'm sure

Sophieontoastie · 16/12/2016 01:51

Meh, this would really upset me if I was there and ready for the taking

On a serious note, some men wouldn't even think of a wank with a woman nearby to do it with, others like both and like the availability/less effort of a wank

My sympathies though OP - I wouldn't like it either

PonderLand · 16/12/2016 01:51

Ah that's a bit awkward. I don't think you should think masturbating as a personal insult against you. It's a perfectly natural thing to do and there isn't anything wrong with either of you.

Unless he's doing it excessively, or your concerned about the type of pornography, I would just make a few jokes about it and then forget it ever happened.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 16/12/2016 01:54

What ponder said...

TheGirlWithAPrince · 16/12/2016 01:57

Honestly it has nothing to do with you. i masterbate when my boyfriend is in the house because i just want a quick one, i dont want to get all undressed and hot and sweaty i just want a Quick release!!!! especially if im tired.

Its a natural thing to want to do, even when me and my partner are having amazing sex multiple times a day i still masterbate atleast 3-4 times a week.

edwinbear · 16/12/2016 02:03

Sometimes I have a quick wank on a Sunday morning when it's my lie in and DH is up with the kids. Purely out of convenience.

Italiangreyhound · 16/12/2016 02:45

It wouldn't bother me about my dh masturbating but dh watching porn would bother me.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 16/12/2016 03:07

I am imagining your husband, running after you in the streets, limping a bit and trying to conceal the stiffy.... 😁
A wank is natural, everybody (I think) has them from time to time. It's quick, less messy, and you just know what makes you tick at this moment. Do not be controlling, your husband's genitals do not beling to you.

iamadaftcoo · 16/12/2016 03:24

Porn is vile and misogynist so I'd be pissed off on that basis.

TheMaddHugger · 16/12/2016 04:46

Pics or it didnt happen

Just walked in on DH masterbating

Miserylovescompany2 · 16/12/2016 05:20

It's a normal healthy thing to do and is a great reliever of stress. He hasn't done anything wrong, he probably just needed a quick fix?

Have you spoken about this?

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/12/2016 05:55

So.. is it NOT the correct response go shout..

"HAHA CAUGHT YOU" and then heckle?

Oh.

Wanking is wanking - perfectly normal to want to relieve that urge quickly and without needing to consider someone elses needs from time to time.

Men tend to use porn because they aren't so good at mentally visualising something theyve stashed in teh memory bank - I know my 'wank database' in my head is FAR superior to OH's.. but we do sometimes read stuff on Literotica too (sometimes even the same stories).

Really.. not bothered and in our house we do find it funny to catch each other out!

Of course if a partner is saying they have no sex drive, don't want sex, aren't interested an THEN you find they are consistently wanking instead of wanting anything to do with you, then that might well signify a problem, of whcih the wanking is a symptom but unlikely to be the cause!

Toadinthehole · 16/12/2016 06:05

I think he needs a good spanking.

Mindtrope · 16/12/2016 06:38

Was the dog watching?

iamadaftcoo · 16/12/2016 07:00

Seriously most women in porn are trafficked, are you people really ok with your husbands funding that shit

Imavinoops · 16/12/2016 07:05

Hilariously I did the same thing last night.

Walked in to tell him something (didn't even notice at first I was busy around so much 😂) He just looked at me with a "really?" face and I promptly walked out after flashing him a bit of a grin.

I didn't really think much of it until I read this thread!

We just had the intended conversation a bit later.

AntiqueSinger · 16/12/2016 07:27

I would be upset because 1. I was in the house and sexually available, but was not pursued. 2. Because he did not do the former, he wanted the wank more than me. 3. He wanted a particular kind of turn on (ie. Bondage) as opposed to sex with myself at the moment, and needed objectification to get off.

Its the you being there but him prefering to wank whilst watching the objectification of someone else that would pee me off.

chibsortig · 16/12/2016 07:38

Am I the only female is who is not just readily available whenever her DH might want a wank. If he wants a release I dont want to be pursued through the house I maybe doing other things.
I dont get women getting all het up over a man having a wank using themselves as being sexually available as an excuse why he shouldnt self pleasure but instead go looking for them.
I am not sexually available at all times even if it is just and him in the house.

Miserylovescompany2 · 16/12/2016 07:47

If he's showing no interest in OP, and thinking only of his own needs and not those of his partner. Yes, that would be an issue. If OP is still having regular sex with her partner and the mastrubation is used instead of sharing a joint sexual experience. Then, YES, I'd feel rejected by those actions.

I think if OP is unhappy of the fact he was wanking over bondage type porn? Then this needs to be addressed.

If OP is upset about the wanking, this also needs to be addressed.

For all we know OP's husband could of had a really stressful day and just needed a quick release?

Aeroflotgirl · 16/12/2016 07:48

Some people just prefer to go solo.

Laiste · 16/12/2016 07:51

I can't get past the first post!

PannusAngelicus - yes... my dad!

aaarrrggghhh

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TheNaze73 · 16/12/2016 07:57

Cracking one off & full sex are two totally different things. Don't get caught out by that.

Maybe get some bondage gear for Xmas, if you want to get his attention (leaves me cold but, each to their own)

As for the Dad comment... WTAF?!?!

Miserylovescompany2 · 16/12/2016 07:59

Also for all we know, OP's husband could have a higher sex drive? Personally, I couldn't think of anything worse than someone having sex with me when they weren't in the mood? (Just going through the motions because they felt obliged to) It would be very selfish of me to think that I had the right to sex just because my partner was in the same house?

I'm merely speculating, because I don't know all the facts? Only OP does. That's a conversation between the two of them.

zippey · 16/12/2016 08:03

"To love yourself, it is the greatest love of all."

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