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To put a stop to this?

(12 Posts)
MistyDays Thu 15-Dec-16 22:31:19

Came home from work tonight to find dsd 14 and dss 16 sprawled on mine and dhs bed watching the tv, dh was bathing dd 18mo. I asked dh why they were in our bedroom lying on the bed and he said that they always do it when I'm at work. They stay with us every thurs- sun.
I have to explain, we live in a small flat with a small kitchen and small living room. I am currently on medication for depression and really need a space that is just mine, my bedroom is my quiet sanctuary when I am having a bad day, I don't think I am being unreasonable to want a space that is just mine and dhs, especially when I come home from work and just want to lie on my bed and check my phone/watch to for half an hour. Dh says that he doesn't want to tell them our room is out of bounds (unless they go in to get something or to ask us something, they are not forbidden from the room obviously!) but I really don't want this to continue happening. Since having dd my own personal space has become so important, am I being unreasonable?

harderandharder2breathe Thu 15-Dec-16 22:32:06

Yanbu why can't they watch tv in the living room?

MsJudgemental Thu 15-Dec-16 22:38:33

I wouldn't want my own son hanging out in my bedroom. He sometimes watches TV with me there, with or without his father / my husband, but he wouldn't be treating it as his own any more than I would hang out in his room without him. I too have depression and go there to relax by myself. YANBU

Tartyflette Thu 15-Dec-16 22:40:17

Well, if they're only in your bedroom when you're not there, and they vacate in before you come home, and, importantly, leave it as they find it, I don't see that it's so bad, really. Is the TV there bigger or better?
If they don't get out as soon as you get home (or ideally before you arrive) so that it's your private space when you need it, then YANBU.

RoseGoldHippie Thu 15-Dec-16 22:42:16

I think to determine if YABU, we need to know the reasons for them not watching the living room tv

RoseGoldHippie Thu 15-Dec-16 22:43:25

And I do also agree with what Tarty said about them leaving the room as they find it and vacating on your arrival home.

Doyoufeelluckypunk Thu 15-Dec-16 22:50:31

Totally reasonable to make your room out of bounds. It is a basic matter lf respect. Are they wearing their shoes on the bed? Eating in there?

Its YOUR bedroom!!!

Doyoufeelluckypunk Thu 15-Dec-16 22:51:34


Breagha85 Thu 15-Dec-16 22:57:45

I agree with you OP.

A bed is a very personal space and I feel uncomfortable with anyone other than me and DH (and Ddog) being anywhere NEAR mine.

I used to let my step siblings watch TV in my room on a blow up sofa (they were much younger than me and loved it) could that be a compromise? In the room but not on your bed.

MyWineTime Thu 15-Dec-16 23:02:27

I have had my room as a private space since the kids were about 7.
Unless there was a reason why they couldn't using the living room I don't see why they would need to be in your room.

Marcipex Thu 15-Dec-16 23:19:50

YANBU I like my own space too. Turf them off.

melj1213 Fri 16-Dec-16 01:22:10

Whether or not YABU depends on why they were in there. Perhaps your DH usually has a kids programme on for your DD and the older two had asked to watch something else so that was the compromise, then when he goes to bath DD he just leaves them where they are? Or your DD makes a lot of noise with her toys but your DH can watch her in the living room even if he's in the kitchen so the older kids watch tv in the bedroom so they can hear it.

Growing up we had 2 tvs in our house - one in the living room and one in my parents' room, in the evening, if my parents were watching something on the "main tv" and we wanted to watch something else, we could ask if we could go and watch our programme upstairs. Most of the time they'd say yes on the proviso that once it was finished we were to come back downstairs again, but occasionally we'd finish our show and then just stay there channel hopping until one or other parent turfed us out of their room.

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