Earlier in the year my mum died suddenly. My dad has recently moved an ex girlfriend into the house. She offered her condolences to my dad a week or so after I lost my mum, spoke to my dad on the phone frequently and they met up in person a few months ago (she lives overseas). My dad told me that they were going on holiday, which they did, sandwiched either side by a stay in my parents house. Basically, first date was in my parent's home, she has the same name as my mum, their holiday was in a place he'd been to with my mum many times - their honeymoon destination.
My dad doesn't want to share memories or grief about my mum and whilst I understand we all grieve differently, it feels like he's just replaced my mum. My dad told me she would be coming over for another visit and would I meet her. I knew it would be hard, but thought I would. Just before she came over, he casually mentioned she was coming over and moving in for good. The speed of this relationship and the cold, flippant manner in which he told me has set me back hugely to the point where I'm no longer ready to meet her. My dad said he would not spring any surprises on me but would give me warning - he didn't and I feel so angry and hurt with him.
Earlier in the year, I said to my brother that we should make sure we had Christmas as a family. I'm now so anxious about it. My brother wants my support, although he has met this woman. I want to bail as I'm not sure I'll be able to hold it together. What do I do? It will kill me to see her with my babies on Christmas when my heart is breaking my mum isn't there to hold them. I can't pretend my mum didn't exist. I don't want to let my brother down but I'm hanging on by a thread. I always thought we had such a close family but that has fallen down the pan since mum died. Do I risk fracturing family further or risk a breakdown?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Christmas or not
19 replies
JSlondon · 10/12/2016 22:49
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.