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To be so angry with DS's school right now ?

(266 Posts)
TheLaundryLady Thu 08-Dec-16 17:06:41

Having a crappy week (see thread about friend letting me down) and it just keeps getting worse

DS's school are planning a residential trip to Shropshire next October for his year group.
DS very excited about trip so we complete the paperwork and pay the deposit as requested by the deadline. Paperwork went back about 2 weeks before deadline but due to a glitch with schools parent pay system we didn't pay deposit until the last day of the deadline.

Fast forward to today after being told that he was on the trip I receive a phone call from school telling me that they had messed up and had got the boy/girl ratio wrong and had one boy too many on the trip. Therefore DS will now be unable to go.

I was told that if he was a girl he could still have gone but they chose him not to go because We were last to pay.

Now they have known how many girls and boys are in that year group since reception.

If this was purely first come first serve I would understand but this clearly seems to be about his gender - he can't go because he's a boy.

Head teacher has basically said tough and DS is gutted

Trifleorbust Thu 08-Dec-16 17:19:48

Why does the boy-girl ratio have to be that specific? And I would complain. You got the payment in before the deadline so if there is no choice other than to exclude one child this should be done on a random, not first-come, first-served basis. I would say different if they had advised places were limited but this doesn't seem fair.

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 08-Dec-16 17:20:37

What? They're excluding one child from a whole year group?

Believeitornot Thu 08-Dec-16 17:21:56

Isn't that sex discrimination?

It is their mistake. So they can suck it up.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Thu 08-Dec-16 17:24:55

Can't believe they are excluding a child as usually they want as many as possible to go. Bullocks to there being a boy to girl ratio.

honeysucklejasmine Thu 08-Dec-16 17:26:40

Sex ratio will be for sleeping accommodation.

I would expect the Head's attitude to be very different, considering this is their fault.

Heratnumber7 Thu 08-Dec-16 17:27:03

Ridiculous. Raise it with the governors. You paid within the deadline. There was no "first come first served"

BertrandRussell Thu 08-Dec-16 17:27:26

Is it because there are a limited number of beds?

OutDamnedWind Thu 08-Dec-16 17:27:45

That is completely unfair. Yes it may well be a hassle to sort out extra rooms, but I would expect them to do everything they possibly can.

Was it clear that there was a limit, and that if it were oversubscribed it would be first come first served? How many children aren't going?

CozumelFox Thu 08-Dec-16 17:27:58

Bollocks! So they've fucked up their room planning system? They can sort something out. Send a teacher to a Premier Inn or something, I dunno. Either way, it's their issue to sort, not your son's to suffer.

I'd consider going to the papers, they love a proper unfairness story, which this definitely is.

BertrandRussell Thu 08-Dec-16 17:28:52

But if so, surely they could add a camp bed or something?

Trifleorbust Thu 08-Dec-16 17:33:51

They'll only have as many staff as they need on the trip so dropping a teacher won't be the answer (and teachers won't sleep in student rooms obviously). It may be that there isn't a solution like just booking another room - accommodation is full or whatever. But I would definitely expect a 'short straw' to be drawn, not the last one in to be the first one out. They set the deadline and it wasn't your fault you were last anyway.

TheLaundryLady Thu 08-Dec-16 17:35:15

DS has told me that he's the only child in the year that isn't going angryI will verify this tomorrow.

It's to do with the sleeping arrangements. when I was phoned I was told his name was pulled out of a hat but when DH picked him up from school he was told that DS was picked because we were last to pay? The head teacher admitted that they'd messed up but refused to do anything about it

What if the child last to pay had been a girl ? They say that they are an inclusive school but how is this inclusive ?

It is discrimination because of gender. I will lodge a formal complaint tomorrow and request a meeting with chair of governors

Trifleorbust Thu 08-Dec-16 17:37:10

Gender discrimination is only an issue if there is no decent reason for it. If it has to be one of the boys because girls and boys can't share rooms (which they can't) then
I don't think it's a factor. But they told you

Trifleorbust Thu 08-Dec-16 17:37:48

Sorry, unfinished: they told you it was random and your DH something else, so you definitely need to clarify that.

Gazelda Thu 08-Dec-16 17:39:11

They can't possibly leave 1 child out of the whole year group! They have to find a solution.

rookiemere Thu 08-Dec-16 17:39:39

That is absolutely awful. Yes complain loudly. They cannot exclude one DC from the whole year group. They should cancel the whole thing if not everyone can attend.

WouldHave Thu 08-Dec-16 17:43:07

When you booked, were you told that not all the children in the year group would be able to go?

I think gender discrimination is applicable, because they should have booked accommodation to ensure that all pupils could go irrespective of gender.

I suspect that they may be bound to this contractually anyway: they offered a place on the trip, you accepted, you paid the deposit they asked for and they accepted it. Though that may depend on whether there was any small print when you applied.

It's wrong to decide this by who paid last. Quite apart from the fact that the delay was caused by the cock-up with their systems, suppose someone was the last payer because they were hard up and took time to get the money together? Should a child be penalised for the crime of having parents who can't produce money at the drop of a hat?

HaveNoSocks Thu 08-Dec-16 17:43:11

So he's the only one not going? In any case I'd be majorly pissed off too; you paid by the deadline and it. I don't think it's sex discrimination since they can't really put boys and girls in a room together I think it's just rubbish organisation and they should try harder to sort it out!

TheLaundryLady Thu 08-Dec-16 17:43:43

But there is no decent reason for discriminating in this case. They knew what the boy/girl ratio was way before the trip was even booked

BurnTheBlackSuit Thu 08-Dec-16 17:44:59

No, YANBU. That is very unfair and wrong. They messed up so they can't punish your son for it.

Not that it makes it right, but might there be another reason they want to exclude your son- is he very distruptive or something?

TheLaundryLady Thu 08-Dec-16 17:45:19

Exactly wouldhave

Trifleorbust Thu 08-Dec-16 17:45:37

Yes but they got it wrong. People do make mistakes and sometimes there is no easy solution. I think they are just going to say tough but you are right to complain that it is unfair on your DS.

Backingvocals Thu 08-Dec-16 17:45:54

It's not gender discrimination - but it is awful. No way should they be doing this. Totally the wrong way to manage the allocation of what seems to be a scarce resource among the children. Either they make the resource less scarce (pay up for an additional camp bed and/or additional teachers depending on what the issue is) or they have to run a ballot.

Angelil Thu 08-Dec-16 17:46:55

Children will never be in a room alone, so I don't understand why they can't put another camp bed or something in a room with 2 other children. Bonkers. Good luck complaining!

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