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To want to tell my friend that her DC look uncomfortable?

(53 Posts)
user1477282676 Tue 29-Nov-16 20:43:54

This is so silly really and I know it's none of my business...BUT

My good mate has two DC aged 4 and 18 months. Both are slim and tallish...normal weights for their age ....yet for some reason, she dresses them in exactly the "correct" age clothing for their actual age and it doesn't FIT them!

They always look like things are too tight!

I hate seeing it...she puts her 4 year old DS in skinny jeans, labelled "4" and he's quite obviously a child who'd fit into at least a 5-6....same with her little girl....she buys a lot of new clothing but always looks for the tags appropriate for their actual age instead of noticing that their clothing is clinging!

It's like a bit of a blind spot. I've said subtle things like "ooh hasn't he grown! He must be into the next size up now!" and she'll say "No...he's still in age 4"

I only noticed when she bought my DD a dress up outfit age 7 when she's been in age 9 for a good while due to her height and broad shoulders.

Wtf? This is a LIGHTHEARTED AIBU...I probably AM BU....I just wanted to know if anyone else does it and why she might be doing it really. I hate seeing her DS waddling in these tighter than tight jeans!

Hissy Tue 29-Nov-16 20:48:45

My mother put my ds in too small clothes, he looked pained sad

3 times he asked to change. She told him it would hurt her feelings if he did.

I vowed never to leave him with her again. I went into full no contact, for this and other reasons

Your friend is bats! Her children are suffering and she is insisting she's in the right. I am not sure how you bring it up, but I think for the sake of the kids you should

What she's doing is cruel. Whether it's intentional or cluelessness.

As much as I hope it's the latter, - decent parent knows their child is in pain or uncomfortable. They just KNOW...

TowerRavenSeven Tue 29-Nov-16 20:49:24

Yabu. I'd keep my beak out of it. She'll figure it out and if not they (the kids) eventually will tell her.

Grindelwaldswand Tue 29-Nov-16 20:50:51

Maybe she thinks she has to adhere to the clothes sizes for their ages ? A one size fits all mentality ? I'd tactfully say their clothes look a bit too small

Amelie10 Tue 29-Nov-16 20:51:03

Yanbu, she can't be that dim not to notice. Does she wear clothes that are too small herself? If not, then I would think she's doing this intentionally.

CrohnicallyPregnant Tue 29-Nov-16 20:51:45

I find that people buy my DD the 'right' age clothing as presents. She's tall for her age and average build. We managed to get one wear out of the onesie type pyjamas because they cut her in half, and there was a dress that I couldn't even get her in.

By contrast, if I buy clothes as a present I get the next size up, the child can wear it big or it can be put away for when it does fit, either way the child will get some wear out of it.

Perhaps we should go over to labelling things by height? Rather than pretending all children are the same size at the same age?

Do you have anything neutral you could pass down from your DD to their DS? Then you could comment something like 'oh, this coat says age 6-7 but DD is way too big for it now, it looks like it would fit your DS perfectly'

Or you could mention that you ordered some clothes online, measured your child's height to see what size to buy, and when they arrived they were labelled age 9! Your DD doesn't look like she should be age 9, maybe they make clothes smaller these days...

TaraCarter Tue 29-Nov-16 20:52:22

Casually remark that "that shop's clothes come up small, don't they? S/he's already growing out of it."

followTheyellowbrickRoad Tue 29-Nov-16 20:53:11

I would point out that I'm some stores, next for example age 4 is actually 3-4

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Tue 29-Nov-16 20:55:05

Tell her. If it wasn't for the ages I'd think you were talking about me blush

I've only just realised how big my children are. My2 yo is in age 5 and my 9 month old in 18 month clothing but until fairly recently I bought appropriate or one size up. One wash I couldn't get them on!

ollieplimsoles Tue 29-Nov-16 20:56:28

Omg I have a 2 friends who do this! One puts her huge 11 month old dd in 11 month clothes and they look skin tight, tops even cutting into her under arms.

The other has a little boy on the lowest centile for weight and his clothes hang off him, when he trying to crawl his huge trousers just constantly slip down and gather around his knees so he cant move.!

Crunchymum Tue 29-Nov-16 21:00:31

Buy her some shit from H&M. They have the most bizarre sizing. Jumpers for aged 4-6yo anyone? shock

BlueFolly Tue 29-Nov-16 21:01:07

Are people just thick?

downwardfacingdog Tue 29-Nov-16 21:03:39

Oh dear. I know a mum like this. She has two boys in primary school and their trousers are so short there's a gap between the top of their socks and the bottom of the trousers. They are not even tall so must be wearing a size smaller than their age. I don't get how she doesn't notice! They are quite well-off so it's not like they can't afford new clothes either.

uncoolnn Tue 29-Nov-16 21:05:24

YANBU, children should be dressed comfortably regardless of the size written on the clothes label

bigkidsdidit Tue 29-Nov-16 21:05:29

Your 2yo is in age 5 clothes confused my 5 yo is 122 cm and he still fits age 5-6 from most shops. How tall is your 2yo??

user1477282676 Tue 29-Nov-16 21:06:42

Blue grin maybe that's it!

She doesn't wear too tight clothing herself at all....it's so odd! I just don't see how she can't see that the kids look uncomfortable. Little jackets skimming their waists instead of their hips!

Soubriquet Tue 29-Nov-16 21:06:57

I would tell her but make it out like the shops have odd sizing

Which they do!

Sainsburys 3-4 for dd(3)is huge! She needs more like 2-3 and even 18-24 months occasionally.

Whereas Primark for example she fits fine into it

frigginell Tue 29-Nov-16 21:07:15

My brother/sil do this with their children. I'm uncomfortable just looking at them. I've always bought bigger sizes for my average sized children. Shop sizes are a joke, really.

But the parents don't think they're too small, obviously.

If your friend thinks that 'clingy' is a good fit and her children aren't complaining, she could argue that it's simply a matter of taste.

ChangedMyMind Tue 29-Nov-16 21:08:39

I've seen this before, utter madness as the sizing is just a guideline confused does she have issue with the fact they are getting older/growing up?

ContraryToPopularBelief Tue 29-Nov-16 21:09:04

Ha I have the opposite. A friend of mine moves her children up through the 'ages' of clothing waaay too quickly. I.e. shorts from one summer cannot be worn the next summer even though they still fit. The children always have their trousers halfway down their bum and ate walking on the ends of their trousers. Weird.

user1477282676 Tue 29-Nov-16 21:09:37

Frigg they must think that a "good fit" is where it fits where it touches! So if a sleeve finishes at the wrist, then that's perfect...or if a trouser goes on like a second skin then that's "correct" confused

frigginell Tue 29-Nov-16 21:10:05

I wonder whether children who've always been dressed in restrictive clothing become accustomed to being slightly uncomfortable and don't complain about it, though.

bumsexatthebingo Tue 29-Nov-16 21:11:35

I'd just say is that a size x (the size below) and when she tells you say 'gosh it looks quite tight, I'd start getting (whatever size) if I were you with the kids being so tall for their age. It could be more the style of the clothes than the size though. My kids would waddle in skinny jeans even if the waist was massive on them.

frigginell Tue 29-Nov-16 21:12:02

x post. Listen, you're preaching to the choir over here user grin

lornathewizzard Tue 29-Nov-16 21:12:43

I'm gonna need to buy 2.4yo DD a 4-5 in a fleecy hoodie I got her in Asda because it is such a struggle to get over her big head in the 3-4 shock
I would also approach it in the 'isn't it strange how the sizing is so different in different shops' way.

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