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To hide husbands drugs?

(112 Posts)
Bjazzle Tue 29-Nov-16 19:33:30

Prepared to be flamed here for being childish but im sick to death of dh addiction to cannabis, he puts his addiction and himself first before ds and myself. He has smoked cannabis regulaluarly for about 15 years, grew up with his family taking all sorts of drugs so genuinely believes this is the norm. I am aware I knew this when I met him but he has always been full of promises that he will stop. Ive tried to help him stop, ive booked doctors appointments and supported him when he has stopped smoking but he only lasts a couple of days before he declares he is now able to 'take it or leave it' so should be allowed to have a joint and before we know it, he smoking more than he did before. Its only recently hes admitted he is adddicted. Earlier today I wound myself up so much thinking about it, found a bag and hid it, unsure of what to do with it. Hes now frantically searching the house and even the bins outside. It really hurts that hes putting in so much effort into finding his drugs, but too lazy/ stoned to contribute anything else to the family. Ive tried to leave him but cant right now before anyone suggests this.
Aibu? Shall I own up and give him his drugs back?

PeachBellini123 Tue 29-Nov-16 19:38:17

I don't blame you it sounds like you're at the end of your tether. But this is a short term solution. Unless he wants to stop you booking him doctors appointments etc is a waste of time. Can you really carry on like this?

I had an ex who'd say he was too broke to go out and do anything but always found the money for drugs - it was bloody miserable.

Toffeelatteplease Tue 29-Nov-16 19:39:05

I'd be worried if he worked it out you'd be at risk of violence

BlueFolly Tue 29-Nov-16 19:39:33

It's not going to solve anything, is it?

ScarletOverkill Tue 29-Nov-16 19:39:53

I wouldn't just hide them I would have binned them!

AnyFucker Tue 29-Nov-16 19:40:37

Dump the husband and leave him to his First Love : drugs

LostSight Tue 29-Nov-16 19:41:16

Why can't you leave him?

Toffeelatteplease Tue 29-Nov-16 19:41:31

As in please don't admit it find a way to return them without him knowing you took them and find a way to get out

AnyFucker Tue 29-Nov-16 19:42:30

Oh, I just read you won't leave him

I don't have any other suggestions then. You can't control someone else's actions, only your own

There is your dilemma

YelloDraw Tue 29-Nov-16 19:42:31

YABU to stay with him.

YelloDraw Tue 29-Nov-16 19:43:26

I would not tell him you've take nthem but can you put them somewhere so he can find them? He may turn violent.

specialsubject Tue 29-Nov-16 19:43:32

The thing to dump is the druggie, not the drugs. He leaves, not you. Perhaps that will be rock bottom enough, although sadly I doubt it.

He comes back when he has started treament.

PeachBellini123 Tue 29-Nov-16 19:43:59

Toffee - very goos point. Look after yourself OP

QuiteLikely5 Tue 29-Nov-16 19:44:09

Your husband will need to seek professional support and advice after a fifteen year addiction.

Fairenuff Tue 29-Nov-16 19:44:29

Ive tried to leave him but cant right now before anyone suggests this

Ok, well in that case you'd better resign yourself to continuing to live with a drug addict. It's your choice.

Just as giving up, or not, is his choice.

gamerchick Tue 29-Nov-16 19:44:40

It's dodgy to hide it, if he finds out he wouldn't be calm with you if he's frantically looking for it. I got a black eye once when I through the exs dope in the rather large well grassy garden during a row and he couldn't find it.

AnyFucker Tue 29-Nov-16 19:44:56

No, he comes back when he has finished treatment and has been clean for a year

ReggaeShark Tue 29-Nov-16 19:48:42

Have you posted about this before, OP? If you can't/won't leave him, it sounds as if you're stuck.

Bjazzle Tue 29-Nov-16 19:53:26

Im certain he wont resort to violence, what will happen is I will tell him I hid them, he will be so happy they havent actually gone missing, promise he will stop- after that bag and then the cycle continues. I cant afford financially to leave him at the moment, im on maternity and wasnt planning on returning to work, although I'm now looking into what options I have.

Soubriquet Tue 29-Nov-16 19:53:43

So why can't you leave the man who won't put his family about drugs?

Soubriquet Tue 29-Nov-16 19:54:22

Cross post

Noodoodle Tue 29-Nov-16 19:57:43

OP-short term, put the drugs somewhere he can find them so he doesn't waste money buying more.
Long term, figure out a way to leave/get rid of him.

Bjazzle Tue 29-Nov-16 19:58:23

Im unsure if I should give them back, as pp have said me hiding them isnt going to solve anything. He will buy more if I bin them, using money that could go on something for ds thats why I'm reluctant to do so but I also want to punish him.

Noodoodle Tue 29-Nov-16 19:59:00

It's not childish, it's frustration and completely understandable. But as he's shown you, he won't stop.

FurryLittleTwerp Tue 29-Nov-16 20:01:44

I'd take them to the tip & choose a nice half-empty skip to chuck them into.

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