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To ask how much your dh does?

(96 Posts)
Zaratall Tue 29-Nov-16 16:41:12

Pretty much just wondering what's normal.

What does your dh do in the evening/weekends in terms of childcare and household stuff.

Whether one or both of you work.

Is one/both of you messy?

I'm at home atm but have an absolute whirlwind of a toddler.

Dh (I feel) leaves mess and crap everywhere and my days are spent picking up Everton's shit.

Zaratall Tue 29-Nov-16 16:41:50

Everyone's not Everton

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna Tue 29-Nov-16 16:45:28

My DH is great with our DS and he's pretty helpful when I'm here. But he doesn't clean ANYTHING. I literally cannot remember the last time he picked up (the cordless, lightweight) vacuum cleaner. Or swept the crumbs off the work surface. I swear he just doesn't see it.

So, around the house, he does next to nothing except empty the bins. But in other ways he's very good. Very hands on with our son, puts up photos and shelves when I ask etc etc.

sillypussy Tue 29-Nov-16 16:47:31

My exH did very little. Wouldn't even take dustbins to the edge of the property in the morning on his way to the car. Even his niece commented on how little he did when she stayed with us once. And THAT is the main reason why he is now an EX!

wittytwitty Tue 29-Nov-16 16:47:39

DH does the bins and recycling. Sometimes cleans the kitchen and/or puts on some washing. He did alot more until I went on leave. Now I seem to be doing all but the bins whilst caring for two kids.

StarBurger Tue 29-Nov-16 16:48:14

I'm a sahp. I do most things. My husband occasionally will empty the dishwadher and it's his job to empty the bins. That he forgets to do so I ram them full so they are a pain to empty smile I too have a toddler I don't think he realises how difficult it can be to get things done!

Mine sounds like yours he can't even put his cup in the dishwasher even though he walks right past it. Sometimes the cup can make it to the kitchen and sit on the side above it... never in it that would be ridiculous! What would I do all day? wink

Zaratall Tue 29-Nov-16 16:49:24

I'm guessing my dh probably does quite a bit compared to some.

I cook weekdays but dh 'cleans' the kitchen afterwards. When I say he cleans the kitchen he loads the dishwasher and cleans the highchair if I remind him. He doesn't wipe the sides and he leaves bits of food in the sink.

He puts the toddler to bed while I do reading with older child.

He puts bins out on bin day.

WeedlesHatOfDisappointment Tue 29-Nov-16 16:49:54

During the day, when I'm at home with dc's, I do everything. As soon as he walks through the door, it's 50/50.

TwinkleMumsie Tue 29-Nov-16 16:50:36

He feeds one twin a bottle at bed time and also puts the bin out... He hasn't changed a nappy in 4 monthshmmor spent more than an hour with them on his own

Eolian Tue 29-Nov-16 16:51:31

I do almost all housework, cooking and childcare during the week. Dh does most of the weekend cooking, cleans the kitchen when he's cooked and does all the gardening and diy.

He works full time in a demanding and stressful job. I work part time, some of which is regular and some sporadic. Our dc are school age (one primary, one just started secondary).

I do get a bit fed up with the fact that all my household jobs are the thankless, boring, never-ending ones. But on the other hand I'd a million times rather have my week than dh's.

AhNowTed Tue 29-Nov-16 16:52:16

We both work full time, me from home, him locally.

He cooks every night, will tidy kitchen and load dishes. Happy to wash his own stuff if I haven't already. Irons his own shirts.

Kids are teens so no real childcare needed but was even split.

MidsummersNight Tue 29-Nov-16 16:53:44

Both work full time, take turns walking the dog.

I feel the animals, he puts the washes on, I hang them up, I iron everything. He hoovers, he does the dishes, I sometimes cook, he sometimes cooks, I never touch the bathroom, he always cleans the bathroom, he tidies up before bed, we take turns doing the bed time routine with DD...

More or less equal here.

MidsummersNight Tue 29-Nov-16 16:54:05

I feed the animals I don't feel them. Well I do, but more importantly I feed them.

MusicalChairsOh Tue 29-Nov-16 16:55:40

Dh cooks most evening meals, puts one of the dc to bed every night.

Weekends he does all dishes.

I do all laundry and housework weekdays.

He does the bins when they need doing.

However it's taken a while for him to just get on with things rather than moaning for ages about it...and then doing them.

Anything that involves instructions or repairing is my job. He's heavy handed and forces things together and breaks things. I don't trust him to do DIY. But I'm good at it so swings and roundabouts .

ZoFloMoFo Tue 29-Nov-16 16:56:01

Day to day, DH puts bins and recycling out, loads the dishwasher and tidies the kitchen (not to my standard though grin) after I've cooked and generally picks up after himself.

He'll sort the garden as and when needed, same with DIY.

He'll occasionally put the hoover round and have a big tidy up and sort out.

He works full time and takes DS to his weeknight (x 2) and Saturday morning activities.

I have Monday and Tuesday off work and get the general housework, laundry, etc done in those 2 days with time left over to myself to go for coffee, read, meet friends. So at the weekend there's hardly anything that needs doing around the house.

Sassypants82 Tue 29-Nov-16 16:57:30

We both work F/T & DS is in full time childcare during the week. Outside of this, childcare is probably 60/40 but that's a lot to do with DS who sometimes just favors me. I do all the cooking. I happen to enjoy it while DH hates it. I would keep the kitchen & sitting room tidy day to day & DH generally does the 'big' clean, hoovering, mopping etc on the weekends. Depending on what I'm doing, I will chip in by doing bathrooms, dusting etc. We fit this in around DS (usually when he's napping) while we can, as otherwise we're out with him. We both do laundry equally but I put all DS's away & would usually be the one to sort ours too as well as putting sheets, towels etc away. We usually have shopping delivered to save time, if not it'd generally be me doing it, sometimes both of us. He does all diy & would look after the car & bins. I would be the one making sure everything gets paid & generally household admin etc but he's more than capable of this if necessary. It's fairly even with us but I feel extremely frustrated when I find unwashed pots when I've cooked, even the next morning. I think if somebody cooks, the other should clear up afterwards.

luckiestgirl Tue 29-Nov-16 16:57:31

*During the day, when I'm at home with dc's, I do everything. As soon as he walks through the door, it's 50/50*

^^ Me too. Or I run off to the cafe and leave him to it.

EverythingEverywhere1234 Tue 29-Nov-16 16:59:03

No children. Both work, I do around 45 hours pw and he does between 60 and 100 hours, dependent on the season. I'll base this on when it's quieter (when it's busy I do everything, he is only home to sleep)
I do 75% of the cooking, all the washing up, all the hoovering/mopping, 75% of the laundry and most of the general tidying
He does 25% of the cooking, 25% of the laundry, takes the bins and recycling out, cleans the bathroom and does some general tidying. He also washes all the cars and does all the gardening (of which there isn't much tbh)
He's golden. We're both pretty happy with the set up.

Cosmicglitterpug Tue 29-Nov-16 17:01:16

I'm at home Monday and Tuesday so get washing done then, have a cleaner who also irons so that's that. He does the bulk of bath time while I start dinner then I pop up. He will quite often take over on the cooking. He also takes them to nursery and picks them up if I'm off out.
At the weekends it's 50/50 mostly although if anything he ll have them a bit more.

TheLobsterRollPlease Tue 29-Nov-16 17:01:37

Takes & Collects DS from school, he doesn't do any house work but he cleans up after himself, so I can't complain.

SayenRose Tue 29-Nov-16 17:06:33

DH does a lot in our house, often I think more than I do. But I do most of family 'remembering' like organising birthdays, Christmas, school stuff so it kinda evens out.

On any given day we get up, I lay out kids uniforms and help the youngest, he will do a quick tidy of upstairs and and then get breakfast ready.
When we get back from work I cook, he washes up and cleans the kitchen. I bathe the kids and he will empty bins. I put the washing machine on and he will put it in the dryer and then fold up after. I wipe down surfaces he vacuums.
We take turns putting kids to bed and then sit down and hang out with each other usually with a boxer or something.

We're very happy and tbh as I'm not tired from doing everything (I used to in previous relationship) we have a lot of sex!

littlepeas Tue 29-Nov-16 17:06:37

My dh has loads! I am sahm and tend to do all errands during the day, while dc are at school (shopping, admin, organising electricians, etc) and all the cooking, but he helps a lot with housework and dc.

LadyPenelopeShufflebottom Tue 29-Nov-16 17:07:20

DP (soon to be DH) does all the cooking and all the laundry. I do all the day to day cleaning and the deeper clean at the weekend. I work full time (37.5 hours), DP works about 25 hours on average. No children but 2 dogs.

DP usually feeds the dogs, I walk them. We do the weekly shop together. I deal with all the bills, house admin etc and DP does the DIY.

None of this was ever discussed or agreed on, it just happened that way.

SayenRose Tue 29-Nov-16 17:09:25

Boxset not boxer !

DrowningInPoop Tue 29-Nov-16 17:11:01

Term time M-F he does the bins, the occasional bath time and half of bed times.

On a weekend he'll be happy to much in with whatever needs doing and or entertain children/do gardening/DIY.

He does however not leave his mess for me to clean. He can hang up his towel, put his clothes in the wash bin, wipe crumbs if he makes a sandwich etc - as any adult should be able to do! Children are being trained to do the same.

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