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To think that a doctor shouldn't say this?

(50 Posts)
mysistersimone Tue 29-Nov-16 13:16:33

I'm having a tough week. My son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes last Monday and I'm very emotional about it. Not infront of him though. Saw the diabetes nurse yesterday and she said she was concerned I was still crying about it and I should go to the doctors. She spoke to the doctor herself about me and I had my appointment this morning.

I have had depression in the past and my marriage is dead in the water. We just need to have the talk. I chat to the doctor about that.

Doctor talks about tablets and counselling etc. I listen and say I think it's a bit soon to take tablets. Said I wasn't getting emotional support at home but I have a holiday (by myself) in January to look forward to and recharge. He says, "you need to find yourself a beach bum, get some full body therapy. I can't prescribe for that though". I just embaressed laughed and left. I'm not a prude, but I'd expect that comment from a friend not my doctor!

FizzBombBathTime Tue 29-Nov-16 13:18:08

That would make me feel sick

BitchQueen90 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:20:23

YANBU. Very inappropriate!

OohhThatsMe Tue 29-Nov-16 13:23:42

It depends on your doctor and the relationship you have with them, doesn't it?

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass Tue 29-Nov-16 13:25:14

It's a completely inappropriate thing to say. No doubt about that.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt though, perhaps what he was trying to say was 'you need to have more time just for you before your holiday because January is too far away'

Katy07 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:25:16

Inappropriate but not the worst thing possible. At least your doctor was taking you seriously. And you got a quick appointment. And the nurse cared enough to actually talk to the doctor herself.
Actually I think you should be posting in praise of your doctor's surgery!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff Tue 29-Nov-16 13:28:49

Er, is there any way at all he meant 'get on the beach and get some body therapy' i.e. lying in the sun...........?

If not, massively inappropriate, and no it doesn't depend on your relationship with your doctor. I have great professional relationships at work with 'service users' but would never ever directly recommend them having sex to loosen up, even in a jokey way. It's just crossing a line.

Bluntness100 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:30:19

I suspect he was just making a light hearted joke, and no I wouldn't find it something to be bothered about. Honestly, we find it so easy to be finding flaw these days, I'm surprised any one talks any more, for fear they might just say the wrong thing.

I think you've got enough on your plate to add this to it as something else to be concerned about.

mysistersimone Tue 29-Nov-16 13:30:25

It's the 2nd time I've seen this doctor. I was just a bit stunned as normally this surgery are brisk and professional. Not a criticism.

I'm not going to make a complaint, just curious if I was being over sensitive.

pilohshit Tue 29-Nov-16 13:30:33

Sorry to hear about your son.

Doctor was probably just trying to have a laugh with you. He's just human after all. I wouldn't read too much into it.

mysistersimone Tue 29-Nov-16 13:33:16

Yes, I'm struggling with my son's diagnosis a lot. Right now it just seems like a life sentence. My current mantra is 'I'll get there' 'this too will pass' doesn't cut it on this occasion.

StefCWS Tue 29-Nov-16 13:35:09

Inappropriate but it would have ben worse if he had said "I can prescribe something for that"

but in the whole yeah not good

VeryBitchyRestingFace Tue 29-Nov-16 13:35:52


Er, what?????


ZoFloMoFo Tue 29-Nov-16 13:37:09

I must be really dim, I don't understand what he said or meant?

snowinafrica16 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:39:51

sounds like he was trying to cheer you up with a joke to me - not entirely appropriate but i'd not have shrugged it off.

Katy07 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:40:29

Personally I'd actually be 'fuming, raging and heartbroken' but that's just me grin

zofranks Tue 29-Nov-16 13:40:40

was he offering himself?

FizzBombBathTime Tue 29-Nov-16 13:41:22

Zo I'm assuming he meant find a man on the beach and have sex with him (body therapy 😷)

FizzBombBathTime Tue 29-Nov-16 13:41:57

That was to ZoFlo not zofranks smile

harderandharder2breathe Tue 29-Nov-16 13:42:00

Bit odd but most likely just a misjudged joke

Can you "meet" other parents who have been in your situation online? They might be able to provide more practical tips for getting through it

rosie1959 Tue 29-Nov-16 13:43:01

As pilohshit said just a light hearted remark wouldn't give it a second thought
My DD has been type 1 since she was 8 she is now 28 it really is not a life sentence it becomes second nature My DD just accepted it as a matter of fact and has always dealt with her condition well

Maudlinmaud Tue 29-Nov-16 13:43:51

Sounds like a case of foot in mouth. We are all capable of it.

Sorry about your dc.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff Tue 29-Nov-16 13:46:06

Hmm obviously I am just a po-faced arsehole, as per grin

But seriously, it's totally possible to make a gentle joke at work without talking about a patient's sex life. Esp to someone whose marriage is breaking down. And who is the opposite sex to you.

Really, anyone in a professional job ought to be able to manage that.

ZoFloMoFo Tue 29-Nov-16 13:46:07

Ah ok.

Probably one of those foot in mouth type comments where after you left the room he thought "why on earth did I say that ffs".

MoMandaS Tue 29-Nov-16 13:46:58

Sorry about your son's diabetes. I don't know if this will help, but a close family member was diagnosed Type 1 as a child and has gone on to live a full life, largely unhampered by it, including going to Oxbridge, travelling on a gap year, living in various places and types of accommodation, setting up and running a very hands on charity while keeping erratic hours, and now living a peaceful life with wife and young children. I think it was a real pain for his mother especially at the beginning, getting used to diet etc., but he just got on with it. I bet your son will too. flowers

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