To tell my DPs relative to STFU?!

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

Long back story but will shorten it best I can. My DPs relative (not a sister but not distant) has moved in with her best friends ex husband. Everyone thought there was something going on before the couple split and the ex husband moved in with best friend. This hasn't been admitted, but several people have given information stating they'd been seen together beforehand etc.
Anyhow you know how people are, and the ex best friends nearest and dearest are obviously furious with what has happened and have plenty to say about it. DPs relative is showing absolutely no shame about what she has done to her friend (and her children who also happen to have called her 'auntie' since they were old enough to talk)
Basically every time we are around said relative she is droning on about how hard done to she is and making extreme hints at my DP 'sorting these dickheads out' for her.
Every time she does it I have to bite my tongue. Her complete lack of regard for her ex best friend and her children is disgusting (think deliberate social media posts and going to places where they might bump into each other) I'm livid at the fact she's trying to involve my DP in her sordid affairs. DP is very laid back, and just laughs but when she's saying these things she looks at me, knowing I disapprove then continues to talk like I'm not there!
Aibu to tell her to shut the fuck up and lie in the bed she made?? Fully prepared to be told if I am because obviously I am angry and therefore biased.

[Aedh]

In your position I would stay out of it and ask your DH to do the same.

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

I have actually said in several different ways that it is not his problem nor his business

[Greengoddess12]

Yep stay out of it and tell your dh to do the same.

Coukd you disengage more?

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

Tried to. It's like she won't take a hint and is going to bang on at him until he decides to defend her. Which he won't because she's brought it all on herself!

[Oldraver]

Book her onto Jeremy Kyle

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

Oldraver I gladly would but I wouldn't want to put her ex best friend through any more heartache!

[Batsh1tcrazy]

Personally I would tell her to stfu she made her bed now she has to lie in it. Ask her how she'd feel if shoe was on the other foot?

[bluebeck]

Can you not avoid her forever?

[DrQuinzel]

Not his circus, not his monkeys.

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

I am going to say SOMETHING. Just not sure how I will word it. As said above not his fuckin circus! If I did that to my best friend I would fully expect a massive backlash!

[LikeBigBotsAndICannotLie]

Wow reading this was like deja vu. Happened to one of my husband's brothers. Long, very long marriage and daughter, it was always fractious, always knew even from the minute he introduced me to them they would either end up in divorce or miserable together.

However, years later, he leaves the wife, asks for a divorce and a couple months later he has a girlfriend and not only that. - she's pregnant! They are well into their 40s by then so we could just not grasp that they could be so lackadaisical about birth control after a couple of months. Then we started hearing of all the sightings of them together prior. It is exactly as you described, she has no shame, no ounce of sympathy, she just paints his ex as crazy, not knowing we all know about them.

I would advise to stay out as others have and if you have to be firm with anyone else who brings it up then do it. I can tell you that the minute you get involved they will turn it all on you as they did with my husband when he tried to confront them about a jaw dropping thing they made to family another time. My husband is very laid back and after it he was like "I'm out, they deserve each other". They would not listen at all. I think with our situation the woman is borderline histrionic so she will never change, never sit back and think about her actions. They justify everything they do.

[TheNaze73]

Who does that to a friend. She sounds vile. Stay well out of it

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

I would love to tell her what I actually KNOW but that would involve outing an acquaintance she doesn't know I have. The whole story is utterly shocking. Although I'm not sure she wouldn't be acting the same way if she did know what I know. She seems to think that 'the bunch of twats should keep their noses out'
Which may be true to some extent, but she's fuckin devastated her best friend and her children, torn their lives apart and seemingly has no shame. But oh no, nobody must call her a homewrecking slut or her precious boyfriend a fucking deadbeat dad how very dare they!

[LikeBigBotsAndICannotLie]

Oh I know, honestly you are preaching to the choir on this one. It is kind of a running joke before family gatherings to wind my husband up that this is the day I will do or say something. You have to try and take a step back, I know it is hard, especially when kids are involved and you see the devastation firsthand, but trust me your sanity will thank you for it. She knows I don't like her and merely tolerate her, I have a few loyal friends and would never ever do what she did to hers. That had to be enough for me, you just have to support the wronged party the best you can without causing a family meltdown.

[FUCKINGqueenmortificado]

Between me and MN the poor best friend knows I am on her side but why she thinks my DP should fuckin fight her battles is beyond me