To be worried about DS?(7 Posts)
This us complicated so I'm sorry for the long post.
My DS is 12. He has HFA. He's in ms school. He's a very bright boy and has severe anxiety issues. He has a statement of 20 hrs a week.
He was at a high achieving primary school and was horribly bullied there for years. School persuaded me it was DS's fault, blaming his ASD. We moved area when he was in year 5 with DHs job. DS went to really small rural school, he absolutely loved it and flourished.
Now he's moved to secondary school. It's a small school with a good SEN dept (apparently). But DS is struggling. He's been bullied by some other kids in yr7 - laughing at him, at his glasses, at his obsessions, making him look stupid and videoing it them posting it online. I've heard them heckling him outside our house so I know it's true. I've reported it to school and the head teacher dealt with it swiftly.
DS is being so awful at home, really stressed, self harming (hitting and biting himself) I've emailed his keyworker a few times and our last correspondence was her telling me to 'take a step back', so now I have no contact with school at all.
DS is friends with a girl in his school. This girl has her own behavioural issues and is getting into a lot of trouble at school. DS is very anxious about this also. I've told him it's for the school to deal with etc She's 'stalking' him - that is his description not mine. I don't want to alienate DS and I've nothing against this girl so I've had her round to tea a few times etc. Last week DS and this girl were together and the other kids i.e. the bullies cornered them in the playground. They blocked DS in and there was lots of shouting at DS. He managed to escape and reported it but, as far as I know, nothing has been done.
I don't know what to do to help DS. I know it's going wrong. The keyworker has told DS I worrying too much and this isn't helping him. I have no support at all with my kids, DH works long hours and my mum died years ago. So I'm completely isolated. I know secondary school is different to primary but is this acceptable? I'm not very confident but I feel this is all coming to ahead now.
Nothing you describe is even remotely acceptable. He's being routinely picked on (quite possibly bullied - couldn't tell if it was always the same group of kids from your post ), and the school isn't communicating with you.
I would get a list of your ds' main concerns together (what is currently difficult for him, including the bullying obviously but also other things if there are any), get hold of the school's anti bulling and SEN policies and make an appointment with the relevant people. They need to explain how they are going to keep him safe and support him to reduce his anxiety levels.
I'd also start keeping a log of all incidents and any communications be you and the school - email them to confirm what they are telling you in writing.
So angry on your behalf! Are there any other schools to take him to?
Thank you for your reply. It is the same group of kids.
Ok then it is bullying. So get hold of the school's anti bulling policy and have a read through it. Are they implementing it? If not, why not? They need to explain.
Also, if your ds is being targeted because of his ASD then what's happening may constitute a hate crime. I'd point that out to them too.
Have you posted about this before, a couple of times? If not there is someone in a similar situation. Advice was to change key worker, speak to the senco and generally make yourself heard at school. You are the only one who can/will ultimately stick up for your sons best interests but you probably need to let them know you won't be walked over. Good luck!
Thanks, yes it was me before. The situation is getting worse. I've contacted the school today to ask for a meeting about it all. I'm tired of it all.
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