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Ok, this is my question...if you know anyone who has never really worked? All her life being SAHM and even now when children at uni...

(167 Posts)
btfly2 Mon 28-Nov-16 11:05:59

This lady is the only case I knew. Please enlighten me with your stories!

Rustythedog Mon 28-Nov-16 11:07:10

I take it you are looking for positive stories yes?

VladmirsPoutine Mon 28-Nov-16 11:08:16

What sort of stories are you after?

PossumInAPearTree Mon 28-Nov-16 11:08:31

I know someone like is. Not sure why you would want a story about her?

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Mon 28-Nov-16 11:08:33

What do you want to know exactly? confused

VladmirsPoutine Mon 28-Nov-16 11:08:41

How they filled their time? How others saw them or how they saw themselves?

BarbarianMum Mon 28-Nov-16 11:10:33

My gran and just about every one of her female friends (of her generation). It was pretty typical for middle class women once confused

witsender Mon 28-Nov-16 11:10:57

Stories? What do you mean? Yes, I know a couple, they're just people. I'm guessing that's not what you want to hear.

scaredoffallout Mon 28-Nov-16 11:11:07

How do you want to be "enlightened"?

Presumably each to their own and their own family set up, no?

GreySealWhiteWater Mon 28-Nov-16 11:12:04

Yeah, I know a few.

DeleteOrDecay Mon 28-Nov-16 11:13:04

I don't really understand what you are asking but my nan did work once upon a time but hasn't since she had her eldest some 50 years ago.

Oysterbabe Mon 28-Nov-16 11:13:52

Why do you want to know?

Wookiecookies Mon 28-Nov-16 11:14:36

Why do you care op? Surely that is an individual choice hmm Does it affect you?

Degustibusnonestdisputandem Mon 28-Nov-16 11:16:03

I'd bloody jump at the chance! Instead, like so many other people I'm spread way too thinly... My mum and sister I guess - but not sure that counts as they're both partners in farms... and do an enormous amount of unpaid volunteer work.

Wookiecookies Mon 28-Nov-16 11:17:20

Is this going to be one of these SAHM bashing threads?

cheeseandcrackers Mon 28-Nov-16 11:18:50

Many of my mum's generation did this. By the time my youngest brother had finished school my dad had retired. It's not that unusual is it?

Madinche1sea Mon 28-Nov-16 11:19:36

Btfly - when you say "this lady" who do you mean? A friend or someone on MN?

In answer to your question, I know many women who have all school age children / teenage children who have not "worked" since their first was born. Nobody with uni children admittedly (yet).

I'm not sure their story is any more significant than anyone else's?
I know many men who don't really work either, having made their money by their mid 40s and essentially retiring.

btfly2 Mon 28-Nov-16 11:20:48

In particular, what did they do after retirement age??
I was wondering about people able to work who decide not to do it. That's it.

plimsolls Mon 28-Nov-16 11:21:48

I don't know anyone who has been a mother (stay at home or otherwise) all her life.

I know a fair few people that didn't work in a paid capacity once they had children. I don't think it's hugely unusual for previous generations, although I expect it's more so now as people tend to need more income and society on the whole is different.

elQuintoConyo Mon 28-Nov-16 11:22:15

Hello Daily Heil <waves>

My DFM worked in a pub during the war, then married a Catholic and had 10 children. She did work: she raised 10 children. She whittled away her time doing housework. And in her "free time" knitted, crocheted, quilted, patchworked and basted.

How's that?

Maudlinmaud Mon 28-Nov-16 11:22:17

confused yes I know lots? What are you getting at?

PhilODox Mon 28-Nov-16 11:22:39

Not sure I understand what you're asking, but how would they "retire"? confused
They would surely do whatever it was they did before that age?

PoisonousSmurf Mon 28-Nov-16 11:22:55

My own mother never worked. But then she had bi-polar disorder. Spent months in hospital after having me and then again after having my brother (PND). Had twenty years with raging agrophobia. So never went out of the house...Ever!
And if she did, she had to get 'tanked up' to cope. The amount of times I had to hear her argue with taxi drivers telling her how 'disgusting' she was to be outside in charge of a child. They always took us home as they felt sorry for me and my brother.
But this was in the 80s and no one really cared. If I was a kid now, I'm sure I would have been in care!

WorraLiberty Mon 28-Nov-16 11:23:03

Why don't you explain what your angle is OP, then people can choose whether to reply.

'I was wondering' is a bit vague.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 28-Nov-16 11:23:45

Yes, I have friends like this. One has a fantastically happy marriage, kids have left home now, and she still doesn't work. She does a small amount of voluntary work, but that's all. It works for them. The other, her children are slightly younger (17 and 15). Her ex has just left her for a woman in her early 20s (he is late 50s), with whom he is having a baby. My friend has been utterly shafted financially by her ex (he's a tax lawyer). She hasn't worked since her late 20s, has no pension, a very small amount of maintenance for the kids, and a small house in her name (he kept the large family home). She is utterly shit scared and has no idea how she is going to live. She won't get state pension here either, as she has spent most of her married life abroad, and hasn't paid into the system. She has tried to apply for so many jobs but doesn't even get an interview for basic admin jobs as she has been out of the jobs market for so long.

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