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Would this offend/ upset you?

(19 Posts)
AmIImaginingThis Sun 27-Nov-16 22:53:45

Earlier this week my friend was in a play. We are very close in that we text every day quite a bit but rarely see each other. I knew she was rehearsing for this play a lot but had forgotten exactly when it was. A few days before she reminded me about it. It was a Monday night so work the next day and no one really wanted to go with me but I bought tickets and coerced my sister to go with me.

On the day I felt really rough, quite ill. I knew friend had organised drinks afterwards. I went to the play and enjoyed it and as it was ending said I was going to leave I had really enjoyed the play but didn't feel well so wasn't going to the drinks. She never replied and now days later hasn't been in touch.

I think she must be annoyed or think I was making up not feeling well. Is that enough to really annoy someone or could it be something else? She hasn't responded to two messages and I know through social media nothing untoward has happened.

DesignedForLife Sun 27-Nov-16 22:56:49

Why is it about you? Could it be that she's not ok or unwell?

MadMadDonna Sun 27-Nov-16 22:58:40

I think she probably is pissed off with you but nothing you can do about that so iiwy I'd let it go and wait for the dust to settle
YANBU though

AmIImaginingThis Sun 27-Nov-16 22:59:54


I hope it isn't about me that's what I'm trying to work out. She is active on social media though posting photos being out and about so I don't think she's unwell.

pipsqueak25 Sun 27-Nov-16 23:00:00

you felt ill but you went to support your friend and now she is ignoring you as you didn't go for a drink ? sounds strange, you did your bit and she knows you went, i'd leave the ball in her court, as it should be her getting in touch with you. i would sent one last message asking to meet up for coffee etc and then if she doesn't respond, cut your losses.

Potatoooooo Sun 27-Nov-16 23:02:59

Did she know you were at the play?
Is it possible she didn't know, or didn't see you and then you didn't go to drinks afterwards and she thought you hadn't gone at all?

AmIImaginingThis Sun 27-Nov-16 23:06:04

She knows I went she saw me briefly in the reception before it started and could see me from the stage.

treaclesoda Sun 27-Nov-16 23:33:20

No, it wouldn't offend or upset me. I wouldn't even expect a friend to come and see me perform, I think that is a bit demanding too.

If this is about the play, your friend sounds very self centred.

Bunnyfuller Sun 27-Nov-16 23:34:21

Maybe she thinks you thought it was crap and legged it to avoid trying to pretend it was good? Text her, act normal, explain how much you enjoyed it and let's have a celebration lunch. I'm not sure why you didn't text her right away anyway?

pipsqueak25 Sun 27-Nov-16 23:35:15

bit of a drama llama ? sorry, couldn't resist that !smile

DearMrDilkington Sun 27-Nov-16 23:35:44

I'd be really happy that you came to watch even though you felt crap. Absolutely nothing to be offended over, you've done nothing wrong.

baconandeggies Sun 27-Nov-16 23:37:03

Is she perhaps pissed off that you sent her a text to say goodbye, instead of waiting to at least greet her in person? Unless you were puking there's not much excuse for not hanging about for a few mins..

HedgehogHedgehog Sun 27-Nov-16 23:40:06

I wouldnt be offended. Are you sure she is? There may very well be another explanation.
You havent done anything wrong so id just not worry about it and assume that theres some other reason she isnt contacting you.

DontTouchTheMoustache Sun 27-Nov-16 23:41:10

A few years back I had a girls night out booked with some friends that I had organised and one of my friends organised her birthday party for the same night (on a Saturday) so in order to try and make an effort for her I rearranged the night I had organised and the only day the others could do was the night before. Obviously I was hungover but dragged myself out of bed then a bus to town to get her a gift then a bus out to where she was (boiling hot summers day and she told me.the wrong bus get off so it made me half an hour late and by the time I got there (walking for half an hour in the hot sun with a hangover) I thought I was going to die. Stayed for 2 hours despite not knowing anyone else and as they were moving onto another bar I told her I felt really ropey and needed to go home. She didn't speak to me for 2 years.
Sometimes despite your best efforts to please people they get the hump.

Thegirlonthebus Sun 27-Nov-16 23:42:44

I expect when she read the message she was out for drinks and literally read and forgot to reply. If she's posting on social media a lot it sounds like she's busy. I'd give her a call to say well done on the show and ask how drinks went etc.

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Nov-16 23:46:05

I went to the play and enjoyed it and as it was ending said I was going to leave I had really enjoyed the play but didn't feel well so wasn't going to the drinks. She never replied and now days later hasn't been in touch.

I'm confused. How could you say that to her if she was on stage?

Or are you saying you left just before the end and sent a text message for her to read afterwards?

MidniteScribbler Sun 27-Nov-16 23:51:12

She sounds a bit high maintenance, but I think you should have waited to say 'well done' before legging it after the performance. She probably thought you hated it and couldn't look her in the face.

blowmybarnacles Mon 28-Nov-16 00:09:41

Maybe she caught the acting / drama lovey bug and you didn't mwah mwah double kiss on each cheek and say 'you were marvellous darling'.

user1477282676 Mon 28-Nov-16 00:30:41

She's being silly. I have a lot of friends who're professional actors and cabaret performers and they never bat an eye when friends don't stay for drinks after a show.

Tell her to pull herself together.

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