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To not do Christmas this year?

(15 Posts)
Throughautomaticdoors Sun 27-Nov-16 18:53:59

I hate Christmas, we had a horrific Christmas last year and the year before was pretty rubbish too (all had norovirus) although in the grand scheme of terrible christmases last year's wins. I've got PND and I don't think I can pretend to be happy for an entire day. I'd like to spend the entire festive season at home in my pyjamas but everyone wants to see the baby which means me driving everywhere on Christmas Day and I can't be bothered.
Aibu to just not do Christmas this year? It's a waste of time, effort and money as far as I can see.

Mummyyummy2012 Sun 27-Nov-16 18:58:46

If people want to see the baby then surely they can come to you, at your convenience! Spending Xmas day in your pjs sounds great and similar to what we will be doing! Far too much expectation at Xmas I think- do what makes you happy flowers

Hassled Sun 27-Nov-16 18:59:38

You have a baby, you have PND and yet you're doing the driving everywhere? Fuck that. If people want to see you they can come to yours at a time which is convenient to you, for a period of time you can handle. Don't not do Christmas, because you'll probably regret it when you're feeling better, but don't do Christmas that way. Do a low-key, staying at home, easy Christmas.

SantanaLopez Sun 27-Nov-16 19:00:18

Lord no.

Spend the winter at home in your jammies with your baby and tell relatives you are enjoying your baby's first Christmas.

(ps. a little walk in the pram every day does you wonders)

You have just had a baby. Make them come to see you.

GinAndTeaForMe Sun 27-Nov-16 19:00:45

You are not being unreasonable. Do what is right for you. I hope you feel better soon.

If you are happy to have visitors, have them, but on your terms.

Take care smile

Euphemia Sun 27-Nov-16 19:01:48

YANBU. You are an adult, you get to decide what you do.

Scooby20 Sun 27-Nov-16 19:02:33

Do you men not do Christmas at all or do it at home?

We stopped visiting people on Christmas day a few years ago. Best thing we ever did.

Day at home in pj's and people can come round if they want to.

AeFondCrisp Sun 27-Nov-16 19:05:47

Do what's right for you. If people want to see the baby can't they FaceTime or Skype for a while on the day?

It's taken me a long time to like Christmas so I understand where you are coming from. We lost a family member on 22nd Dec and then the following year lost a family member on 25th itself. Horrible few years.

All of that said, I personally would still want to mark the day with some gifts, a special outfit for the baby, some nice food, maybe a bottle of bubbly. Is it your baby's first Christmas? Regardless of what's happened before that is still special and to be celebrated. Keep it low key by all means though.

OldRosesDoomed Sun 27-Nov-16 19:05:48

I have fantasies about spending Christmas day alone in my pyjamas. Every year I give myself a talking to that it is hectic, full, on, ridiculous, because people care about me and I am responsible for the happiness of others.

I've had pnd op. It stinks. Hope you feel better soon and are getting the clinical and family support you need - and that you are loved - sure you are >>>hugs<<<< flowerscakechocolatestar

squoosh Sun 27-Nov-16 19:06:04

Have the Christmas you want and let people come to you. I presume this your first child? Absolutely fine to ignore the whole shebang in that case. If there was an older child who was aware of Christmas I think you'd need to make a bit of an effort but as it stands letting the whole fuss pass you by sounds sensible this year 💐

Mamabear14 Sun 27-Nov-16 19:06:22

Christmas Day I don't leave my house. Or get dressed. My nan sometimes pops in before going to my uncles for dinner, just to see the kids and their new pressies. Other than that nobody is welcome and I don't care if that makes me a miserable sod! It's a day for me, DP and the kids. We do however spend all of Boxing Day morning/afternoon at his dads and tea at my nan's (50 miles from each other)
If people want to see your baby they come to you, don't give them the pleasure of new baby cuddles and not having to leave their nice warm house for it while you have to lug a baby and everything required to feed/change baby out.

wobblywonderwoman Sun 27-Nov-16 19:06:40

You should NOT have to drive everywhere with a new baby.

Get your favourite food in, nice bath and treats and start being good to yourself.

You will get through this op. I didn't realise I had and until late but I am OK now abd hope you will be soon flowers

Laiste Sun 27-Nov-16 19:08:50

As soon as i had DD1 i refused to leave the house on xmas day ever again and told the extended family that if they wanted to see us they were welcome at ours at any point.

That was 23 years ago (and 3 more DDs) and i've stuck to it to this day. Honestly truly.

Stay at home OP and begin your own xmas traditions and 'make memories' for your little DC (sorry for cheesy saying, but it fits the bill in this case).

You have absolutely every right to have a quiet, comfortable Christmas, Throughautomaticdoors. It is what you need right now. Your relatives can see the baby any time - and you definitely should not be having to drive hither and yon, with PND and a small baby to acccomodate their desire for baby snuggles.

Plan a warm, simple day for you and the baby - snuggly pyjamas, hot chocolate, easy-to-prepare food, and all the good Christmas TV - and have a wonderful day.

Hulababy Sun 27-Nov-16 19:17:57

I'd still do Christmas. But do Christmas your way.

Before we had children, when we first moved into our own home, Dh and 1 decided that we would always spend Christmas Day at our house, no visiting and no visitors. We would visit family on Christmas Eve and they could come to us on Boxing Day, plus various other visits before/after.

DD is now 14y and we pretty much stick to this, though we do now call at a local friends for an hour late morning for nibbles and a glass of fizz.

Morning is spent in PJs, lazily opening presents together, listening to Christmas music, eating chocolate for breakfast and sometimes a Buck Fizz to wash it down. We then head out for an hour - sometimes we've been for a wintery walk beforehand too. Then home for the afternoon - more lazing around, enjoying new presents, watching Christmas TV, listening to music. Late dinner when we get round to it, more fizz. Bed when we want.

I refused to be spending Christmas Day driving around anywhere. Ad I knew I didn't want to drag my (then future) child/ren round to people's houses leaving all their new toys. We use FaceTime and telephone calls/texts to keep in touch on Christmas Day.

It works for us and we love our quiet Christmas Day.

OP - if you don't want to spend Christmas driving round and having to 'perform' for others - then put your foot down now and say no.

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