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To think you can mess your life up

(15 Posts)
pinklimonade Sun 27-Nov-16 18:48:12

You know how people think there is always a way back? Well what if there isn't. I'm not in danger. Just wondering if you can mess up so bad you can't put it right.

chickenowner Sun 27-Nov-16 18:54:24

I think there's always something you can do to improve things, even if it's just very small steps.

TheSnowFairy Sun 27-Nov-16 18:54:54

There have been lots of posts like this recently.

Can you at least tell us what context it's in (relationship/work/family etc)?

Pimmmms Sun 27-Nov-16 19:00:32

There are always some situations that can't be put right, but your 'life' is made up of more than that.

Friendships, marriages, can be damaged beyond repair, but you have he ability to admit fault, take respnsibility, move on and make peace with yourself. Some jobs may be forever out of your reach if you commit a crime, but here are other jobs you can do.

There are many more people in the world to form friendships or relationships with, that can make your life worhwhile.there are other places to live and work. It might never be amazingly brilliant but it can certainly be better.

Scooby20 Sun 27-Nov-16 19:06:30

Yes you can do something that means you can't fix a situation. That doesn't mean life will never be good again. Or that it has to define who you are.

But for example, you could cheat on your spouse and that marriage is over. No way to go back. But that doesn't mean life is over.

There are very few things that you could do that would define you forever.

LiveLifeWithPassion Sun 27-Nov-16 19:10:15

Sometimes it just means that your life takes a different direction.

Matchingbluesocks Sun 27-Nov-16 19:10:23

Yes there is. Think- could you get over it in 10 years? 15? 20? I struggle to think of anything that will over whelm your life for periods as long as that.

I have a girlfriend who married and had children with a horrible man. He has ruined 15 years of her life before their divorce and she has another 15 before the children are independent. But she will be free of him. 30 years is a long time but they will pass, and her life will become less dominated by him when they children become more independent

pinklimonade Sun 27-Nov-16 19:12:32

That's quite similar to my situation matching!!

Matchingbluesocks Sun 27-Nov-16 19:15:30

Well she's in a much better place than she was 5 years ago- how about you? flowers

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Sun 27-Nov-16 19:17:30

In almost all circumstances
I agree with PPs that, whilst you can't always undo an action, you can usually rebuild yourself a happy, fulfilling life. Not necessarily the same as before, but a 'new good'.

Of course some things don't fit into this, although the only examples I can think of off the top of my head are health related.

Marmalade85 Sun 27-Nov-16 19:21:54

I've had a baby with someone I now hate and my son is only 11m old. I feel like over ruined my life but just keep going, for now.

pinklimonade Sun 27-Nov-16 19:24:10

I had 3 of them Marmalde and have just found out recently it will be 4.

Marmalade85 Sun 27-Nov-16 19:31:25

3 with 3 men you hate or 3 with 1 man you hate?

pinklimonade Sun 27-Nov-16 19:33:06


Just one!

Marmalade85 Sun 27-Nov-16 19:36:59

Well I got pregnant after knowing someone I met at work for about 6m and he has has turned out to be a complete twunt and I'm mortified and disappointed and angry with what I've done.

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