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To want to decorate my own Xmas tree?

(59 Posts)
1t6y9o Sun 27-Nov-16 16:21:43

DH and I moved in together about 5 years ago. Prior to that I shared with girlfriends (and we didn't bother with a tree) or lived at home with parents.

In the December we moved in together MIL gave us a bin liner full of all her tree decorations (some passed down from DH's grandma) saying she no longer puts up a tree now DH has left home. She also makes or buys our children a bauble each year.

This year, for the first time, I suggested I might buy some new baubles. We have bought our first home and have spent a lot of time decorating each room one by one so I guess my head is in that space of wanting to decorate the tree for the first time in my life.

DH suggested it would be ok to buy a few new to mix in with the old but not many.

Aibu to want to decorate my own tree. And if not now then when?

BertrandRussell Sun 27-Nov-16 16:27:03

Does your DH want to use the old decorations because he feels sentimental about them himself or because he doesn't want to upset his mother?

If I were you I'd pick out the best of the old ones (vintage decorations are so much nicer than new ones) and buy new as well.

Also, there is no reason why you can't have two trees!

RatOnnaStick Sun 27-Nov-16 16:27:25

YAB a little bit U I think. Considering DH want's to keep at least some, it would be unfair to demand you have all new tree decorations. Maybe the way forward would be for you and DH to go through what's been given, keep the ones with history, the ones from grandma, the ones made by MIL with love etc and ditch the rest.

A Christmas tree decorated with the love put in those baubles is surely worth a bit more than getting it to match.

Buggeroffalo Sun 27-Nov-16 16:29:17

Just get another tree. Decorate 1 with the 'family' baubles and have one how you want it.

Thinkingblonde Sun 27-Nov-16 16:30:19

Do it. A bit of compromise mixed with sneaky cunning wouldn't go amiss. Go through the bin liner and chuck out any baubles/decorations that are past their best. The next year so it again.
I bet a pound to a penny DH wouldn't have clue which are new or not.

Planty18 Sun 27-Nov-16 16:30:25

There is absolutely no reason why you can't decorate your own tree. I don't know if I am missing something but it just sounds like she was giving you something she didn't need any more and it is lovely she makes or gives the dc baubles but there shouldn't be pressure not to do what you want to with your own tree. It is also your dh's tree though, so just tell him what you've said here. He may want some of the old ones on as they're part of his childhood and he's assuming you get the importance for him. Just chat about it. Yanbu but neither is he really. Hope you can have a nice mix and have a lovely Christmas. As a side note I have just let my kids decorate ours and if I'm honest it looks pretty awful but hey ho. I have friends who will judge it and change their baubles annually and that's fine too, theirs always looks amazing!! It's each to their own really but you are allowed your own feelings about this. He always just may not see the point in wasting money buying loads when you have loads iyswim.

ArmySal Sun 27-Nov-16 16:32:23

I'd put two trees up too.

MrsJayy Sun 27-Nov-16 16:34:59

We have decorations from Dhs childhood some dds made and some new it's nice to have them on the tree maybe not stylish or themed but I like it mil died years ago but she loved her decorations and some are from her parents. It really is up to you biut would be a shame to bin the decorations

Glittermakeseverythingbetter Sun 27-Nov-16 17:09:04

Are you visiting mil over Christmas?
Id be inclined to give the baubles back and offer to decorate a tree for her at her house.

saoirse31 Sun 27-Nov-16 17:12:34

If ur dh wants them I think you should keep them and also get some new. Not really seeing the issue unless you want a boringly decorated tree all one colour or some such.

BertrandRussell Sun 27-Nov-16 17:28:00

We use the same decorations every year but add a couple of new ones. We have some from my childhood and dp's childhood as well. The children love seeing the old friends coming out of the box-there would be a riot if I threw any of them away.

BertrandRussell Sun 27-Nov-16 17:29:11

Surely not even on Mumsnet would you give back baubles handmade for grandchildren?

Sosidges Sun 27-Nov-16 17:34:57

Decorate your own tree and then make a twiggy display in another place for the other decs

1t6y9o Sun 27-Nov-16 17:37:38

We don't have room for 2 trees.

I'm not actually sure what DHs thoughts are! I think partly he doesn't want to offend and partly doesn't see why I'd bother buying different. I don't think he's particularly sentimental over them.

BertrandRussell Sun 27-Nov-16 17:50:22

Ask him and her before you bin any.

But trees that tell a story are so much better than bland all new every year ones. And you'll soon have decorations made by your children to put on it too.

ChuckGravestones Sun 27-Nov-16 17:51:10

'Oh dear the old decs fell and got smashed'.

<buys new ones>

sorted.

Pestilence13610 Sun 27-Nov-16 17:52:23

Nice baubles are expensive. Why not go shopping with DH and buy half a dozen to a dozen and mix them in with the old ones.

AGrinWithoutACat Sun 27-Nov-16 17:59:01

You can get 2D trees that fix to the wall, one of these with DH's favourites might be a compromise and then you can get new decorations you both choose together for the big one

nooka Sun 27-Nov-16 18:04:06

I like to buy a few new decorations every year, and we don't always put everything up. We also have some garlands for the stairs which I put small baubles and decorations on, and this year I will do the same on a Christmas wreath for our front door and probably get some extra greenery too and mix some decorations into that. My favourite decorations are still the ones dh and I got the first year we had together so I can totally see why you want some of your own. I've also thrown away the more crappy ones over time.

OP are you wanting not to use any of the old/MILs decorations at all? Buying a completely new set of decorations seems a bit ridiculous to me to be honest.

BertrandRussell Sun 27-Nov-16 18:04:40

"'Oh dear the old decs fell and got smashed'.

<buys new ones>

sorted"

You are, I presume, joking?

ChuckGravestones Sun 27-Nov-16 18:06:13

You are, I presume, joking?

No, why would I be joking?

motherinferior Sun 27-Nov-16 18:11:17

You are decorating your own Christmas tree, aren't you?

Does it really matter who bought the Christmas tree baubles? You are genuinely concerned about this? I mean I could see if there were baubles with dodgy political symbols or you were supposed to put Nigel Farage at the top of the tree it might be different but a bauble is a bauble, is it not?

BertrandRussell Sun 27-Nov-16 18:14:38

I want a Nigel Farage bauble now!

dontcallmelen Sun 27-Nov-16 18:18:34

Yy too a mixture, especially the handmade & the granny's baubles.
I have a few tree decorations from when my dcs were tiny(oldest is now 37) I usually buy one or two new ones every year, so again some of these are now quite old, I get that you want too decorate in your style, especially if you have spent a lot of time/effort decorating your home, I think your tree could still be very tasteful with a mix of new & old.

motherinferior Sun 27-Nov-16 18:18:37

It could play Rule Britannia when twirled.

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