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I know i need to loose weight but stop telling me

(23 Posts)
nicknamehelp Sat 26-Nov-16 17:58:02

I am v overweight but find it v hard to loose weight due to pcos and asthma which is currently been treated with steroids. Dh dps keep on at me to do something about my weight. This just makes me want to stuff my face more.

Arfarfanarf Sat 26-Nov-16 18:03:51

Have you told them that?
Im sure they are only worried about your health but nagging someone is never helpful and they need to back off

nicknamehelp Sat 26-Nov-16 18:06:50

I've tried telling them putting pressure on me isnt helping. Neither is making comments every time they see me eat as it only makes me eat in secret and therefore eat more

Pineapplemilkshake Sat 26-Nov-16 18:16:17

My mum does this - it actually makes me want to eat more. I'm pretty sure my weight issues are related to her projecting her food hang-ups onto me as a teen.

Unfortunately I've found with people like this, confronting them makes little difference.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sat 26-Nov-16 18:39:15

Agree. If you're told what to do. You just do the complete opposite. Its goes back to the simple fact, that. None of us like being dictated to.

littlesallyracket Sat 26-Nov-16 19:32:16

Do you frequently talk about your weight in their presence, eg do you often complain about your size or say you wished you were thinner? If so, then perhaps they're just trying to motivate you, but it sounds like they're going about it in a really clumsy and insensitive way.

If you never/rarely mention your weight to them, then they're just being rude and interfering. Your weight is absolutely none of their business and they're clearly just making you feel crap.

Could you perhaps ask your DH to have a discreet word with them and ask them to drop the subject?

BadKnee Sat 26-Nov-16 20:08:13

I understand this as I was the same when younger, and I agree that it can have the effect that you want to eat more, however - you are an adult, you and only you decide on what you want to eat.

It is time to take responsibility for your own health and no matter what they say just ignore them. Smile and tell yourself that they mean nothing and they could all probably do some self-improvement of their own!! (Read a bit more perhaps Mrs A, Apply your make up with a brush not a trowel Mrs B, learn a few more adjectives Mr C, Maybe try an alternative look to velour Mr D???) - I am being a bit silly but you get the point.

You can blame them all you like but in the end you are the one bearing the consequences whoevers fault it is.
Good luck.

Trifleorbust Sat 26-Nov-16 20:20:12

They should not be mentioning your weight.

Bluntness100 Sat 26-Nov-16 20:24:14

I agree with bad knee. You are an adult and you and only you are responsible for what goes in your mouth, blaming your husband or any one else isn't going to change that fact I'm sorry, it reads to me you wish to blame others for your own behaviour in relation to food.

7SunshineSeven7 Sat 26-Nov-16 21:13:40

Someone kept saying this to me so I quite angrily said ''So do you, maybe we can do it together!''. They did not tell me I needed to lose weight again.

WorraLiberty Sat 26-Nov-16 21:17:16

They shouldn't be mentioning your weight, it's rude and none of their business.

I'm curious to know why it makes you want to eat more though?

Ta1kinpeece Sat 26-Nov-16 21:26:50

PCOS : look up fasting as it works
make them do it with you ....

fasting reduces the pain of PCOS so then makes the weight loss easier
so then makes the PCOS reduce
etc etc
until you are lean and mean

nicknamehelp Sat 26-Nov-16 23:55:52

I never mention my weight. I am an intelligent woman i know im over weight but i struggle with health issues which dont help. Ive really cut down on what i eat but my asthma has been that bad recently that even walking from sofa to toilet has left me gasping for breath so until i can get that under control exercise is banned. The drugs im forced to take dont help things.

So when people are negative to me i just want to open my mouth and swollow everything in sight. It takes all my will power not to as i recognise i have an unhealthy relationship with food but i dont drink,smoke do illegal drugs so food is my crutch when life knocks me down.

Potnoodlewilld0 Sun 27-Nov-16 00:13:12

My Dh uses The 'I don't drink or smoke, food is my only enjoyment/crutch'

Losing weight is 90% diet by the way so you don't really have to go gym.

I'm on the other side of this.

My Dh is my soul mate, he was honestly made for me and I'd never leave him (unless he met another women) no one can make me laugh like him and he is just awsome - but he has put a lot of weight on to the point when folk thst havnt seen him for a while are shocked. His lovely face is hidden by his extra weight and he looks nine month pregnant. - I'm not joking.

His hip is really bad due to his weight, he isn't getting picked for his beloved sports team anymore and he is breathing out of his arse going up stairs. He is tired all the time and I'm scared to death he is going to have a heart attack and leave me and my two girls that adore him.

We talk about healthy eating, I donit with him, I even cook him healthy meals and take them to work for him but after a few days he is back to drinking Coke and eating shit. Or he will say he hadn't eaten all day so makes an obscenely high plate of food. It's revolting.

I don't fancy him any more and I don't really want to make love to him and it makes me feel really sad because I love him so much and will never leave because of it.

I also feel a little resentment because of I'm being honest I didn't choose to go out with some one this fat/big and after every baby ive had I've worked hard to shift the extra weight.

I wish you luck op I really do but you can't blame him for you putting food in your mouth.

Catsize Sun 27-Nov-16 00:21:32

I came up with various excuses, then realised that in fact I wanted to live to see my children grow as old as possible. For me, that was the trigger. Still losing weight, health issues improved. They are concerned about you, and probably want you on the planet for as long as possible too. Try to ignore it if you want to. Lose weight if and when you feel ready.

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Nov-16 00:31:01

So when people are negative to me i just want to open my mouth and swollow everything in sight. It takes all my will power not to as i recognise i have an unhealthy relationship with food but i dont drink,smoke do illegal drugs so food is my crutch when life knocks me down.

So if they were to stop mentioning your weight overnight, what then?

Would you lose it all? Or would you find another reason to want to eat everything in sight?

Slim models on TV?/in magazines?
A nasty comment shouted by an arsehole in the street?
Not being able to fit into your favourite outfit?
A body shaming thread you read on the internet?
Feeling down about your poor health?

There are endless reasons we can choose to stop us from losing weight/giving up smoking/giving up drinking/changing whatever we desperately need to change.

But as PPs have rightly said, what you decide to put into your body is still very much your own choice.

And as difficult as it is, you need to own that choice. If you don't, then fast forward 5/10/15/20+ years and you will be exactly where you are now, but just with a different 'reason' to eat too much food.

nicknamehelp Sun 27-Nov-16 00:40:16

The support is out tonight!

Its not all about what goes in my mouth. I have 2 health issues which do not help weight loss/maintaining a healthy weight. So negative comments really dont help from anyone.

Yes I've used food as an emotional crutch everyone needs a crutch from time to time. Ive been through some truly horrendous times and needed a crutch for my own sanity.

People need to realise not all over weight people are lazy over eatters.

NotStoppedAllDay Sun 27-Nov-16 00:47:14

What are you 'over eating' on though?

Turn to food but does it have to be the crappy food?

Can your medication be tweaked or changed to something which doesn't cause/aid weight gain?

nicknamehelp Sun 27-Nov-16 00:51:15

At the mo I'm not overeating but due to having pcos loosing the weight i gained when i was is v difficult. And at mo asthma is so bad i am on alot of steroids/can hardly move for being out of breath so just adds to the issue of not finding loosing weight easy - when asthma is under control i do regular workouts/am very active and it helps.

TheClaws Sun 27-Nov-16 00:58:08

Not sure what you wanted to hear? The replies here have been very gentle and supportive.
I also have health conditions that prevent me from exercising. I was overweight, but by just reducing my portion size and eating slower I lost all my excess weight and have maintained it for many years. No fad diets required. You can only change if you want to, though, not just because other people are telling you you should.

plasmina Sun 27-Nov-16 01:01:15

The OP isn't asking people for weigh loss advice. She is upset her problem keeps getting brought up time and again and it makes her feel down.

HelenaDove Sun 27-Nov-16 01:20:10

I used to be bigger..............21 stone. I had ppl going on and on about my weight for years. I did lose it and got down to 11 stone when i was ready and i metaphorically hit a wall. And when ppl had STFU for a while.

I wasnt on steroids though. And my DH has never said a word about my weight apart from once around 1999 when he was worried about my health.

Ginkypig Sun 27-Nov-16 01:24:01

I have both physical disabilities that severely interfere with excercise and if I'm being honest walking and washing etc too! sad and chronic ongoing long term mental health issues. I'm telling you so you know that I'm not judging you!!

I have lost a couple of pounds under 3 stone in about 20 months.
Iv done it with food only because even getting to the toilet has been hard some days and a typical week means I can only Leave the house for 1 somtimes 2ce a week (my health has been particularly bad the last couple of years)

I understand steroids complicate your situation so I'm not telling you your not doing enough but what I am saying is having been where you are you need to change your mindset. You seem to be stuck in the space of life is/has been shit, no one gets it, I'm good in other areas of my life so food seems innocent but it's not!

As unfair as it is for them to mention it. (You should tell them to shut it nicely) it's is you who eats and only you who has control. Nothing anyone else says and does can ever ever make you put food in your mouth.

Good luck I know it's really really hard!

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