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Aibu not to have confronted stranger who "swore" at my 6 yo

(22 Posts)
Pandaponda Sat 26-Nov-16 17:55:31

Me and 3 DCs were out in Canary Wharf shopping. I was studying the map trying to work out where nearest Boots was while DD (6) took DS to have a closer look at very nearby Xmas tree. DD (11) comes up and says that a man just said to DS (6) "get out of my way you f******g brat." I didn't hear this happen - have hat on and scarf. DS is not particularly perturbed but agrees this happens. DS (10) also didn't hear it. I ask which man and DD points to a young guy with girlfriend. I catch his eye really briefly and he gives me a friendly grin. There's something about it that makes me think DD is probably right but because I didn't hear it myself I didn't feel comfortable confronting him. No security people nearby. I put it down to one of those nasty things that happen in London sometimes and made sure DS (6) was ok. We all agreed the man must have had some really bad issues to talk to a 6 year old like that. But DD is cross that I didn't confront him directly about it. AIBU?

user1471463681 Sat 26-Nov-16 18:01:46

YANBU, DD needs to learn it's generally better not to get into confrontations with strangers, especially ones who presumably have anger issues.

Passmethecrisps Sat 26-Nov-16 18:03:52

She is full of righteous indignation as she should be at her age. She will learn though that you need to fight your battles.

The guy was obviously a prick and would have enjoyed an altercation

Blossomdeary Sat 26-Nov-16 18:04:11

Least said, soonest mended - the less fuss the less your child will feel uncomfortable about it. Tell her that some people are just rude and it is best to ignore them.

Pandaponda Sat 26-Nov-16 18:11:40

If I had heard it I would definitely taken him on - no way would he have got away with it. But it was hearsay so didn't feel so clear cut.

chitofftheshovel Sat 26-Nov-16 18:12:08

Sometimes not saying anything packs more punch than having an altercation. I do understand where your daughter is coming from but I think you did the right thing.

GeillisTheWitch Sat 26-Nov-16 18:14:47

If he did say it then he was obviously just a cunt looking for a reaction. Best not to give it to that type.

allegretto Sat 26-Nov-16 18:16:02

I think you did the right thing. I agree that it is also important to teach that some people are better off ignored for your own good.

ILoveDolly Sat 26-Nov-16 18:17:06

11 year olds have such a strong sense of justice. Love it. But it's a good life lesson you have taught that its best not to get involved in public tangles with possibly very argumentative strangers

Pandaponda Sat 26-Nov-16 18:18:16

Thanks all for the reassurance. I suspect he did it as there wasn't an adult immediately there - in the split second I had eye contact he moved off fast. What a coward. Just hope I wasn't one too.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sat 26-Nov-16 18:19:04

Dd 11 should have punched him in the bollocks.

Not really. In general I think it wise to not get involved in altercations with strangers especially when with DC. If it turned nasty I don't have the means to defend myself. I will imagine satisfying scenarios in my head though.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 26-Nov-16 18:27:03

You did the right thing by ignoring him.

Although hopefully the next person he's rude to will be a Jax Teller type and karma will tidy things up.

Pandaponda Sat 26-Nov-16 18:34:17

KingJoffeys love it! It'sAllBeing - yes DCs were full of fighting talk with DC (10) demonstrating to Xmas shoppers the karate kick he was going to inflict on sweaty man...

Pandaponda Sat 26-Nov-16 18:41:17

Update from DS (6) who says he replied to swearing man by saying "sticks and stones" etc. He also added wisely was "he did it for his girlfriend".

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sat 26-Nov-16 18:45:01

YWNBU. You don't know what he could have been capable of. However if you had said something you wouldn't have been unreasonable either.
People go about children having respect.
It makes me wonder what Mr pick on children would have said to a burly bloke who was in his way

kaitlinktm Sat 26-Nov-16 18:47:03

Your DS is a wise head on young shoulders.

Let's hope sweaty man's girlfriend sees him for the lowlife he is - and tells him so very publicly.

ShiteBags Sat 26-Nov-16 18:48:41

You did the right thing.

As other have said, his behaviour is indicative of someone who gives zero fucks and he was probably looking for an altercation (verbal but who knows for sure?). This would not have been good in front of your DC. Better to teach them that some people are rude and sometimes you must hold your head high and ignore, ignore, ignore.

One day, he'll mouth off at the wrong person and it won't end well for him. Rest easy in that knowledge.

Serialweightwatcher Sat 26-Nov-16 19:01:34

Good that you didn't hear I think - I wouldn't confront a person who was that disgustingly rude to a child because you would have received probably a worse backlash infront of your children ... the idiot obviously has no manners/sense/decency - unfortunately nowadays it isn't always a safe option to confront lunatics - the only thing that matters are that your children and you are safe and that moron can go and be a moron somewhere else flowers

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes Sat 26-Nov-16 19:22:33

I would have struggled not to have had a strong word punch him in the balls but agree that would be inappropriate and risky behaviour with DC in tow. Well done on keeping your cool. He'll get whats coming to him elsewhere what a cowardly wank stain of a man.

Pandaponda Sat 26-Nov-16 19:40:35

Thanks so much for the support. Feel a lot better about it now and DS seems to be ok. And karma will take care of swearing s***bag.

suedechocolate Sat 26-Nov-16 19:41:09

That's really horrible for you, poor you.

IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes Sat 26-Nov-16 20:36:07

Exactly hopefully DS will forget all about it smile The girlfriend must be an oddball not to have intervened if she was right beside him. What a lovely pair!

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