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Pocket money for a 17 year old

(221 Posts)
ScotsHumphreys Sat 26-Nov-16 12:41:11

DS is 17, he worked from the age of 13 up until recently when the newsagent finished him. He's not worked since but says he has been applying.

He's at college full time doing a-levels. Because of our income he doesn't get ANY financial help from college.

From us he gets £5 a week pocket money, a mobile phone contract (£30 a month) and a monthly bus card (£35 a month) as well as all his clothes etc bought for him.

Problem is, because he's only getting £5 a week in actual cash he never has any money and is constantly nattering for more. (Can I have £3 to get some lunch in town? Can I have £4 to get a coffee with Alice? Can I have £10 to take Gemma to the fireworks display?") it's constant.

DH says £5 a week is enough as we pay all the other stuff for him and it was his choice to go to college instead of getting a job. I say it's not fair because he doesn't get any financial help from anywhere else because of what WE earn.

He said his own kids never got loads of pocket money whilst at college so I pointed out that they got college bursaries and travel costs because their (single) mother is on benefits. Do they DO have access to money, unlike DS.

What is the solution here??? DS is pissed off because all his friends either gets college bursaries, benefits or generous allowances from parents. He gets neither.

cestlavielife Sat 26-Nov-16 12:44:03

Don't buy any more clothes for him but give him the money you would spend on monthly basis and let him budget and decide if he wants to save for trainers or buy socks or do coffee
Let him get bank account with debit card and manage his budget how he likes.

Floofborksnootandboop Sat 26-Nov-16 12:45:55

I gave mine £30 a month so only a little more than you give and they got on fine with that.

If they wanted lunch then the make it before they go not buy anything,there's always plenty to mke lunch with.

I would give a little extra if they wanted to go cinema or ice skating etc.

cestlavielife Sat 26-Nov-16 12:46:30

£5 is only two starbucks coffees. ..it s really restrictive.
Give him more monthly including clothes budget but in a bank transfer he is 17 not 7 .

ZbZb Sat 26-Nov-16 12:48:24

Can you get him to do some extra work for you for some extra cash. Is there anyone he could babysit for.

£5 isn't very much. If he is working hard at college and is generally a good lad I would give him more.

Amelie10 Sat 26-Nov-16 12:51:09

Sorry but i think 5 pounds is nothing.What can he buy with that? Sounds like he's treated like a small child. Your dh is ur, he shouldn't be punished just because he wants to go to college.

callmeadoctor Sat 26-Nov-16 12:52:03

The £30 a month phone contract is expensive, at the very least get that to £10 a month and let him have the rest! Babysitting can be very lucrative.

Candlelight123 Sat 26-Nov-16 12:53:13

I think he needs to try harder to get a weekend or evening job. I earned approx £25 a week many moons ago working at McDonald's whilst studying full time, and £125 a week in holidays.

NerrSnerr Sat 26-Nov-16 12:54:21

I would try and get the phone contract down, £30 a month is loads for a 17 year old's contract!!

FrancisCrawford Sat 26-Nov-16 12:54:51

DD got £60 a month pocket money plus EMA, plus phone and travel to school and school meal money.

And out of that she had to pay for all clothes (other than school), toiletries, bus fares, coffees etc.

Maybe try something like that?

Candlelight123 Sat 26-Nov-16 12:54:57

Didn't mean that to sound arsey, sorry if it comes across like that!

KayTee87 Sat 26-Nov-16 12:54:57

If you have the spare cash I would transfer him £100 a month and change the direct debits for mobile and bus card to come out of his account (is that possible with an under 18?) the other £35 a month he could either save for clothes purchases or spend. Any birthday or Christmas money he then gets he can put in his own account and manage too.

TBH even £35 a month doesn't seem a lot - could he earn some money around the house if he can't get a job that fits in with college work?

DelphiniumBlue Sat 26-Nov-16 12:55:09

Maybe a monthly allowance to cover everything so he can budget.
I think you should be paying for travel, basic clothes, and lunch ( or materials to make a packed lunch). If your own income allows it, you could let him have extra for coffee in town etc, but you could let him earn this by doing extra chores. I was surprised at how little extra money one of my DSs needed once he realised he'd have to to earn it!
It depends how your household works - it may be that he already contributes to the housework, in which case it might be unfair to keep him too short of funds. It sounds like he's not asking for large or unreasonable amounts.

Ragwort Sat 26-Nov-16 12:56:08

Is he really trying to get a job, are there any jobs for 17 year olds where you live? I wouldn't expect to give a teenager a huge amount of pocket money, most 17 year olds I know have some sort of weekend/evening job.

My DS is 15 - he gets his mobile phone contract paid (no where near £30 a month though shock), £15 a month pocket money - by bank transfer and we buy some clothes - not many. Anything else he wants comes out of savings, he gets quite a lot from relatives at birthdays and Christmas which he always puts straight in the bank. He also has a very small part time job but is looking for more work.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 26-Nov-16 12:57:27

What other parents do or can afford to give their children is nothing to do with you. If he wants more discretionary spends then he needs to find himself a part-time job.

Tot up what you spend on clothes and other necessities at the moment and pay that into his bank account. Once he realises that he might have to sacrifice that Starbucks in order to afford some new socks he might be motivated to get a job.

No kids in my family were given any pocket-money past the age of 16. We were expected to earn our own "fun money". At his age I went straight from my Saturday job at Woolies to babysitting for family-friends and neighbours. It's possible that my family weren't typical but any money that might have been given to us would have meant less for my Dad to spend gambling or down the pub!

Trifleorbust Sat 26-Nov-16 12:57:55

The phone contract is too expensive and he needs to get a part-time job if he needs more than £100 a month for his personal spends, including travel, phone and money for coffees and other discretionary stuff.

MrsJayy Sat 26-Nov-16 12:59:19

Up it to a tenner a week a fiver really is nothing these days is it ? Your dh sounds old fashioned (like mine is) jobs are not falling into laps these days and most places wont employ a 17yrold full time with no experience. Say to your son and dh that the extra money is just till he gets a pt job
Exams

Scarydinosaurs Sat 26-Nov-16 13:00:57

He definitely needs a part time job.

stumblymonkey Sat 26-Nov-16 13:17:11

If he wants money enough he'll get another job, there are always plenty of weekend jobs around especially this time of year when stores get extra people in to deal with the Christmas rush.

Personally I would stop doling out any money beyond phone contract, bus money and money for food (lunch or whatever at college). He's almost an adult now.

I don't really get the point about him not getting financial help from the college because of what you earn....why would he expect financial help from the college anyway?

If you want money, you work for it.

Mrskeats Sat 26-Nov-16 13:20:31

Wow. I'm showing my 18 year old this. She is in sixth form and has a job but I pay for her petrol and give her money at times.
The £5 has me open mouthed

ScotsHumphreys Sat 26-Nov-16 13:22:11

I've just suggested £100 a month to DS to cover phone, travel, clothes and pocket money and he's still saying it isn't enough

BitchQueen90 Sat 26-Nov-16 13:22:46

I didn't get any pocket money when I started college. My parents expected me to get a part time job. I worked 3 hours on a Friday night and 5 hours on a Sunday and earned about £35 a week.

Crispbutty Sat 26-Nov-16 13:26:17

He needs to find a job. At this time of year there are usually lots of catering jobs going which would employ him until xmas. Supermarket seasonal jobs, McDonald's or other chain food places would employ him. I wouldn't expect pocket money at that age. I earned money.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 26-Nov-16 13:28:18

He needs to find another job. And stop being ungrateful.

Cucumber5 Sat 26-Nov-16 13:29:14

Help him find a job? He only needs to do a few hours a week. In the meantime can he earn the cash at home? Does he cook/wash cars/Hoover round the house already?

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