To think this no pants rule is bloody weird?

[tinkiiev]

So; just discovered DD (just turned 5) is in a dance show - didn't realise her weekly tap classes were building up to this....

Not only do we have to fork out about £100 for a special t shirt, extra rehearsals and tickets to see it, but also, apparently they have to wear NO PANTS.

We have to deliver them to the stage door an hour before the show; they go backstage without us and get changed - no pants!! - we pick them up at the end of the show (930pm).

So my only just 5 year old is gong to be expected to strip right down to her bare bum backstage without her parents there. Apparently there are "chaperones" but I have never met any of these people.

I'm sure she won't mind; she'll have a great time; but I think it's really odd - she's 5 - she's too little to understand what's appropriate and what isn't and I've been trying to teach her that bottoms are private and nobody else should be seeing hers; only if me or her father are there and there's a good reason (e.g. At the doctor if we say it's ok).

AIBU? I was pretty shocked but the dance teachers looked at me like I was some kind of outmoded prude, and said if I objected, she'd have to pull out of the show.

[Fluffy24]

Are you in the states OP?

[Pineapplemilkshake]

When you say pants, do you mean knickers or trousers?

[Trifleorbust]

Just to make sure I am understanding this correctly, by 'pants' do you mean knickers? Your DD's ballet class teacher has specified she can't wear knickers? Do you have any idea why?

[bloodyteenagers]

Knickers or trousers?

[DoItTooJulia]

Well I can see how it makes it easier and quicker but it's still a bit, well I don't know, odd? It's at odds with how we teach 5 yo children about things like the nspcc underwear rule, isn't it?

What are you going to do? Do you know any of thenther parents?

[Gizlotsmum]

Chaperones will all have dbs checks I would have thought. I know pants can be an 'issue' as the can show through with spotlights but normally a matching colour is ok. I would maybe ask why no pants and then make your decision

[Soubriquet]

They usually wear leotards for things like this don't they?

Maybe they don't want the knickers to be shown outside the leotard

[TupsNSups]

If you are uncomfortable can you send her already dressed?

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Is she wearing a leotard with built in pant bit?

[weaseleyes]

It's always been standard in my daughter's ballet exams. I think it's because the pants add weird lines and poke out of the leotards. If she's going to be in costume or a leotard, could you just make sure she's already wearing it when she goes in?

[Pestilence13610]

It is so they have no VPL or large lumps of Elsa material sticking out the leg hole of their leotards. Dance people are weird.

[Floggingmolly]

I thought this was for exams only? It's something to do with the examiner being able to see the correct muscle flexing (or something), but there's no particular point to it in classes or on stage

[BroomstickOfLove]

DD was never allowed to wear pants for dance exams. I'm not sure about performances because I wasn't there when they changed. They show through leotards.

[QueenMortificado]

When I was at dance school it was standard to wear no pants. Otherwise you get the knickers sticking out the bottom of the leotard.

Can't you just pick up the costume first and get her changed before you go?

[SavoyCabbage]

So what is she getting changed into? Seems like madness to me not to eat them all dressed at least in leotards when they arrive. They are creating a lot of work for themselves.

Anyway, no I wouldn't want my five year old knickerless back stage with a load of people I don't know.

[IWokeUpLikeThisHonest]

My daughters dance school also require this, as otherwise you can see them through the leotard. I just send her in in her leotard already.

[Mooey89]

I would NoT be ok with this. There is no reasonable reason for it!

[ClashCityRocker]

Could you put her leotard on underneath her clothes?

I can imagine for a professional show that pants would be awkward but at five surely people are just going to see their kids in the show rather than a professional ballet?

[Ohdearducks]

This is not right, regardless of the reasons no one should have to expose their intimate areas like that, especially a child with no parent present and especially to adults you don't know. The fact that they can't see why a parent would have a problem like this is very odd. They're effectively asking you to leave your child in the nude no matter how briefly, with strangers chaperoning at what other time in RL would that be acceptable?

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

I'd send her in what she had to wear so changing wasn't necessary.

[Blobby10]

I would be more concerned about a 5 year old being up til 9.30pm tbh!! This was why I never wanted (and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she wasnt interested anyway) my daughter to get involved in 'dance' - the local dance school used to have a performance three times a year involving all pupils and expecting 4-7 years olds to stay til the end of the show (10pm) Thurs Fri and Saturday plus a sat and sun matinee performance!

But on the original topic it seems a strange request - and I wouldnt be happy about it tbh

[tinkiiev]

Sorry; yes; UK and by pants I mean knickers.

It is weird, isn't it?! I think I'm going to have to make a big deal out of it. I'm. It sure I can send her fully dressed; they said they have to get them changed into their costume, which they provide/keep/own. We're supposed to send them in t shirt, leotard and leggings, which get removed and replaced by the costume; then for the finale they get changed back (because the costumes have to be put away or something).

So two pant -free changing sessions. They seemed to think I ahead an issue with wearing no pants, which I don't, if they've got leggings - it's the bare bum changing with a bunch of strangers I object to...

[SheSparkles]

It's not unusual at all-it's to stop their pants hanging down below the leotard-which will in no way be see through. My dd did dance shows for years and it was always the norm. I never thought anything of it

[tinkiiev]

Sorry for typos; on my phone.

[KatherinaMinola]

This is actually a thing for ballet (still a bit weird if you ask me, but it is a thing, and quite normal in dance circles). It is so underwear doesn't spoil the 'line' .