Old Parenting Tricks(24 Posts)
What are your parenting memories from your childhood imposed on you by your parents?
For example: If I didn't eat all of my dinner when I came down to breakfast the next day it would be served up to me to finish off!
I remember that one too, OP. I was such fussy eater as a child, would hardly eat anything, even sweets. It worried my parents badly and they resorted to that.
They admit though that it didn't work and was wrong. I simply outgrew that phase. They regretted ever starting it and advised me never to do it to my own children, saying that they would eat when they were hungry etc.
I was a fussy eater too but I can see why they did it, I must have been in a pain in the arse. I'll never forget coming down one more to a plate of broccoli and three potatoes. Had to get through it before cereal but it taught me to eat stuff I didn't like because it was much worse the next day!
My Nan used to do that to us. Didn't eat it for lunch and it would come back for tea. 😁
I got picket money I had to save and wasn't allowed to spend. They then bought me what I wanted. Not sure what the point of that was.
Same here.and being forced to eat porridge even though it made me physically retch. Even when it was cold and rubbery. The smell of the stuff makes me puke can to this day
We weren't allowed to leave to leave he table until our plate was empty, even if we sat there for hours staring at cold congealed dinner.
Unfortunately my weight problem is a cause of this as I still can not leave the table unless my plate is empty
Well I have to blame it on something!!!
Glad I'm not the only one! My parents used to tell me to clean my room - if they had to tell me over a couple of days they would wait until the weekend and tip every drawer into the middle of the room so I had to do the whole thing! I made sure I kept it clean after that.
Oh god... yes, I remember sitting on my own in the dining with a cold plate of overcooked soggy veg and told I wasnt allowed to go to bed until I had finished. It was horrific, dont do it with my kids and they eat pretty much everything now!
"Wait til your father gets home" then getting a spanking with a belt or a wooden spoon sometimes. "This hurts me more than it hurts you".
Luckily I'm not traumatised by any of it
My mum would say stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about... without fail caused more tears so not one I'll be using!
My DP were very hot on manners.
Table manners, no elbows on the table "all joints on the table will be carved", having to ask permission to leave the table "thank you for my nice tea, please may I leave the table"
Manners to others, so giving up my seat to an older person on the bus, having to help at my Nanas coffee mornings and things like whist drives, so taking round a tray of food and offering it to people, making polite conversation to them. Not interrupting when adults were speaking. If round playing at a friends house, always thanking her mother for having me round before I went home. Likewise, if eating there, thanking host for the meal before leaving the table.
Having to ask to put the TV on. If this was outwith the normal jackanory/Blue Peter time, the answer was usually "no, go outside and play. It's not raining... too hard"
My mother used to say "You have to have three big bites of [a thing] before you can say you don't like it". She would regularly introduce new things and never had to worry about the whole "I don't recognize that so I'm not eating it" because the rule was firmly in place. I had to eat three big bites of whatever it was, and then if I really didn't like it, I could leave the rest.
I did the same thing with my DS, but I've very rarely had to enforce it because he's something of a gut bucket!!! He'll try anything once, bless him, and there's very little he doesn't at least tolerate politely. Won't touch pumpkin, though. That's his big thing. He can't stand pumpkin. I let that go as he's otherwise such a good eater.
If I was ill and stayed off school I had to stay in bed all day. No screens then, but books weren't allowed either.
I was rarely ill..
We also had to finish our plates before we could leave the table.
I am still immeasurably glad as an adult that I can leave things when I don't want them/get full!
I remember my dad sitting over me forcing me to finish a piece of chicken for hours.
Finishing what's on your plate is a huge factor in disordered eating and the obesity crisis. Children are served huge plates of stuff three times a day and basically forced to eat it.
I've noticed that children prefer to graze throughout the day. As long as they're getting what they need, why is it a problem?
If DS1 doesn't fancy dinner, I just tell him it's fine there'll be nothing else. He hasn't wasted away
The thing about sick days off school; if I was too sick for school I was too sick for tv, playing or even moving. The whole day would be spent in bed resting.
I know lots of the DCs friends take sick days off to go on adventures. My parents would have had a fit if anyone even suggested such a thing; they were real sticklers for school rules and attendance.
Lots of memories here I had similar rules.
*stay at the table till the plate was clear. A rule I hate and wouldn't dare use on my dc. My parents aren't allowed to either
*bed rest for sick days. Still do this as an adult now. 24 hours in bed and a hot lemonade sees off most things. Apart from when I had pneumonia!
*homework had to be done the day it was given. So Friday evenings shattered after a week at school and we had to sit and do a weekends worth of homework. Dd is only in Reception but we don't even look at her homework sheet until mid morning Saturday. Friday evenings are for rest.
*"thank you for my nice tea, please may I leav*e the table"
making polite conversation to them. Not interrupting when adults were speaking. If round playing at a friends house, always thanking her mother for having me round before I went home. Likewise, if eating there, thanking host for the meal before leaving the table.
Having to ask to put the TV on.
Interestingly these are all things that I now encourage in my dc. Does this make me old-fashioned? I thought they were all just good manners
I had the sick day thing too! You had to be dying or something to even get the day off and if you did get it you had to be bed bound all day, no screens allowed.
Also I remember being shouted from downstairs or from really far away in the house and when I got to my parents they'd be like: ''Make me a cup of tea'' or ''Pass me that.'' Or when they shout to you and you shout back they say ''Don't shout around the house''. Why shout to me then?!
Me too, busy. I was horrified when DD had three pals stay over when they were about 15 and the next morning they thundered down the stairs when a parent arrived to collect them and went straight out the door without a word to me. I thought they wee just bloody rude.
Oh, and the tv was always switched off if anyone came in. And this was long before videos, far less Sky+. So if you missed finding out who shot JR, that was too bad. (There were times I hated being polite!)
Oh yes, off school sick meant you stayed in bed. If you were well enough to be up and watching tv, you were well enough to go to school
my parents were less than ideal but my main two memories were being locked in my bedroom every evening at 7pm until 7am and then constantly having promises made which were then broken.
made me vow to never promise a child anything ever because it still hurts today that my mum used to promise me every single weeked we would spend some time together and instead every single weekend was spent in pubs
My nephews little friend told my sister that he'd left his tea the previous night so his dad served it up for breakfast the following day. He forced the child to eat it which made the little boy vomit, he then made him eat the vomit. We were appalled and that act of cruelty has stayed with me. I never made my kids eat what they didn't want, or made them finish if they'd had enough.
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