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To be annoyed when asked to help out at a party that my kids aren't invited...

(213 Posts)
Freakindeakin Thu 24-Nov-16 22:30:08

So a friend is having a birthday party for her child and her child has chosen the friends they want to invite. This does not include my children which isn't a problem, even though they are close, my kids don't even know it's happening.

But now I've been asked to help out at the party last minute. I'm happy to help as we help each other out a lot, but it means changing our plans of going out for the day and my kids will probably find out about the party and they're too young to understand why they won't be able to go.

Aibu to be slightly annoyed and how can I tactfully let her know?? I don't want to hurt her feelings as she wouldn't do it intentionally but it will really hurt my child's feelings if they find out they weren't invited to the party.

QueenOfTheNaps Thu 24-Nov-16 22:31:34

I'd ask straight out: "is it ok if my DC come along? We had made plans but I don't mind helping it's just I'm at a loose end with the DC..."
Your friend is cheeky by the way!

Justwhy Thu 24-Nov-16 22:31:44

That is bonkers! Just say that you can't help because you have your own children to look after!

FanDabbyFloozy Thu 24-Nov-16 22:31:48

There is no way I'd help out if my kids weren't invited. All the kids there will want to know where yours are!

ChuckGravestones Thu 24-Nov-16 22:31:49

Hows about 'no of course not, i will be with my kids who havent been invited!'

MuddlingMackem Thu 24-Nov-16 22:32:14


Just tell her you can't help out as you've made plans with your children and don't want to let them down.

ITCouldBeWorse Thu 24-Nov-16 22:32:49

Just say sorry - you will be doing something with your kids. Why would you prioritise a party they are not at?

Sweets101 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:33:08

I'd just say 'no sorry, we have plans'

Geretrude Thu 24-Nov-16 22:34:15

How can she even think this is okay? Tell her that you have plans (which you do)

DiegeticMuch Thu 24-Nov-16 22:34:23

She must be very desperate ....or very impertinent!

TheOnlyColditz Thu 24-Nov-16 22:34:47

I'd possibly be spiteful and reply "Sorry, I can't, I've made plans with the children and they've had enough disappointment for one week"

sj257 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:36:17

Can't ever imagine not inviting the children of a friend who I was close enough to to ask for help! Tell her to bog off, cheeky cow!

Meadows76 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:37:11

I wouldn't be annoyed by it, it I wouldn't do it either

elodie2000 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:37:50

'Sorry, I can't leave DCs behind. It wouldn't be fair.'

harderandharder2breathe Thu 24-Nov-16 22:38:32

Say no! "I can't help, I've got plans with my own children"

rollonthesummer Thu 24-Nov-16 22:39:27

No- that's horrible. Please tell her you're busy.

DelphiniumBlue Thu 24-Nov-16 22:39:55

What does she think you will be doing with your kids while you are helping at her child's party??
This is seriously weird behaviour on her part!

LetitiaCropleysCookbook Thu 24-Nov-16 22:40:12

Are your children much younger than hers? I mean, do they routinely go to each other's parties? If not, then I suppose she might not think she's being as insensitive as she sounds!

FourToTheFloor Thu 24-Nov-16 22:41:40

Seriously? You'd help out a friend and let your own dc down. World gone mad.

Tell your friend you can't help unless your dc can go.

Personally though I'd tell your using friend to do one.

bloodyteenagers Thu 24-Nov-16 22:42:15

You are really changing your plans for this? Who does that. Tell her no, you have plans.
You don't need to be a doormat and say yes to everything and especially at the detriment of your own family.

CalleighDoodle Thu 24-Nov-16 22:42:17

Fgs say no.

Lilacpink40 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:44:01

Bizarre. That she asked and that you accepted. confused

rollonthesummer Thu 24-Nov-16 22:44:59

How old are your/her children?

Have you already said yes?

CaraAspen Thu 24-Nov-16 22:46:18

No. That's a ridiculous situation.
and your friend is an insensitive person.

CaraAspen Thu 24-Nov-16 22:46:41

...situation and...

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