To be annoyed when asked to help out at a party that my kids aren't invited...

[Freakindeakin]

So a friend is having a birthday party for her child and her child has chosen the friends they want to invite. This does not include my children which isn't a problem, even though they are close, my kids don't even know it's happening.

But now I've been asked to help out at the party last minute. I'm happy to help as we help each other out a lot, but it means changing our plans of going out for the day and my kids will probably find out about the party and they're too young to understand why they won't be able to go.

Aibu to be slightly annoyed and how can I tactfully let her know?? I don't want to hurt her feelings as she wouldn't do it intentionally but it will really hurt my child's feelings if they find out they weren't invited to the party.

[QueenOfTheNaps]

I'd ask straight out: "is it ok if my DC come along? We had made plans but I don't mind helping it's just I'm at a loose end with the DC..."
Your friend is cheeky by the way!

[Justwhy]

That is bonkers! Just say that you can't help because you have your own children to look after!

[FanDabbyFloozy]

There is no way I'd help out if my kids weren't invited. All the kids there will want to know where yours are!

[ChuckGravestones]

Hows about 'no of course not, i will be with my kids who havent been invited!'

[MuddlingMackem]

YANBU.

Just tell her you can't help out as you've made plans with your children and don't want to let them down.

[Sweets101]

I'd just say 'no sorry, we have plans'

[Geretrude]

How can she even think this is okay? Tell her that you have plans (which you do)

[DiegeticMuch]

She must be very desperate ....or very impertinent!

[TheOnlyColditz]

I'd possibly be spiteful and reply "Sorry, I can't, I've made plans with the children and they've had enough disappointment for one week"

[sj257]

Can't ever imagine not inviting the children of a friend who I was close enough to to ask for help! Tell her to bog off, cheeky cow!

[Meadows76]

I wouldn't be annoyed by it, it I wouldn't do it either

[elodie2000]

'Sorry, I can't leave DCs behind. It wouldn't be fair.'

[harderandharder2breathe]

Say no! "I can't help, I've got plans with my own children"

[rollonthesummer]

No- that's horrible. Please tell her you're busy.

[DelphiniumBlue]

What does she think you will be doing with your kids while you are helping at her child's party??
This is seriously weird behaviour on her part!

[LetitiaCropleysCookbook]

Are your children much younger than hers? I mean, do they routinely go to each other's parties? If not, then I suppose she might not think she's being as insensitive as she sounds!

[FourToTheFloor]

Seriously? You'd help out a friend and let your own dc down. World gone mad.

Tell your friend you can't help unless your dc can go.

Personally though I'd tell your using friend to do one.

[bloodyteenagers]

You are really changing your plans for this? Who does that. Tell her no, you have plans.
You don't need to be a doormat and say yes to everything and especially at the detriment of your own family.

[CalleighDoodle]

Fgs say no.

[Lilacpink40]

Bizarre. That she asked and that you accepted.

[rollonthesummer]

How old are your/her children?

Have you already said yes?

[CaraAspen]

No. That's a ridiculous situation.
and your friend is an insensitive person.

[CaraAspen]

...situation and...

[MadameJosephine]

YANBU to be annoyed, cheeky bugger. I don't think I'd even try to be tactful I'd just tell her to ask one of the parents whose children are actually invited to help her instead