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Leave House to brother or DCs

(329 Posts)
HouseDilema Thu 24-Nov-16 17:30:16

I've name changed for this as I don't want to be identified, post may be a little vague because of that.

DH and I own 2 properties, one is a very nice House in a lovely area just outside of London, the other is a cottage by the beach that we rent out throughout the year.

I have a brother, who's 15 years my junior and who has ASD and DCs ranging from 15-25.

Until recently DH and I had our Will set up so that DB would inherit the cottage and DCs the family home to sell off and split, however we've now changed our minds for a number of reasons, including the governments current attitude towards the disabled.

We want to give DB our family home for the rest of his life, he's currently in his 30s with the mental age of an early teen, he can't live alone and he'll need care for the rest of his life. To fund the help that he will need, we have decided to keep the cottage for him as well so that he'll always have a income.

The new Will states that now we shall be leaving DB both properties and once he passes, the DCs can inherit both.

DH and I thought the best approach was to tell everyone and make our position very clear. It didn't go down very well, especially not with our eldest who's only 10 years younger then DB.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but I can see that their attitude really hurt DH. I understand the current housing climate but they are not the ones with the greater need.

Sirzy Thu 24-Nov-16 17:33:44

I can understand your logic.

You would need to make sure it is watertight though. Can you in effect tell someone else who to leave their property too? Assuming he isn't able to make his own will then it could get very complicated? Seek legal advice before finalising anything.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Thu 24-Nov-16 17:35:09

oh dear - I think you sound lovely and caring but I also think YABU.

What if your DB had children (or married someone with children) then your DCs would lose their inheritance.

Also, although I totally respect your desire to care for your DB, your DCs will face issues like getting on the housing ladder, paying for university and all the things that make life hard for young people starting out.

I'm sorry I think YABU and unfair to your own DCs but I totally take my hat off to you and your DH for caring so much about your brother.

JellyBelli Thu 24-Nov-16 17:35:30

I get why you are doing this, but dont expect your DC's to be anything other than hurt and upset.
Kids left to manage dont tend to do so well in life as those that get some parental support.

JellyBelli Thu 24-Nov-16 17:36:18

Have you set things up so that if anything happens to your brother, the houses pass to your DC's?

dowhatnow Thu 24-Nov-16 17:36:27

Ooh difficult one. I can see why the DC are hurt and disappointed but hopefully in time they will come around.

Can you give him the cottage to rent out and enough money from the sale of the big family home to buy him a smaller place, and divide the rest between your DC?

redshoeblueshoe Thu 24-Nov-16 17:36:47

You need to get proper legal advice, but I totally understand why your DS is annoyed. If you died tomorrow what is to stop someone manipulating your brother and ending up with both properties ?

dowhatnow Thu 24-Nov-16 17:37:42

Or give him the big family home to sell to buy two places, one to live in and one to rent out? And give the cottage to your DC's?

Sirzy Thu 24-Nov-16 17:38:06

The other thing to consider is who will manage the estate for him? That's considerable amounts of money really.

Would it make more sense to find some sort of assisted living place and sell the cottage to fund that so you know he is supported?

Mum2jenny Thu 24-Nov-16 17:38:30

Can you set the will up so that your db has an interest in the properties for life but that they revert to your dcs when he dies.

blueturtle6 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:38:32

Rather than leaving in will to DB, you need to ask solicitor to organise so he has use of it for life or until married then reverts to dc. It is possible I know pf a few people who have this

Creampastry Thu 24-Nov-16 17:39:30

Why? Leave one to dc and the other to dh then dc, but make sure its water tight. How will future old age care be paid for? Db could lose the house to pay for it. What about your parents, what's their will position?

WaggyMama Thu 24-Nov-16 17:40:20

Can you not come to an arrangement where your brother has a home suitable to his needs (small) with a trust fund, and your kids the rest?

Greengoddess12 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:40:22

Let him live the cottage for life and then it goes to your dcs. Just leave then the other house directly.

Your db is vulnerable to any fortune hunter looking to inherit so don't think you are doing him or your dcs any favours to be honest.

PlymouthMaid1 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:41:20

It is very kind of you to think about your brothers future to this extent but I do think your children will be very hurt and bitter about it and I don't blame them.

GeekyWombat Thu 24-Nov-16 17:41:50

Kids left to manage dont tend to do so well in life as those that get some parental support.

That is a massive generalisation and from my experience and that of quite a few people I know not always the case.

Plus the OP's children WILL get an inheritance, assuming the will is watertight.

Are there any ramifications for the house if your brother needs local authority care though OP. Do you need to put it in trust somehow so it's not sold to pay for any residential care he might need later on?

HouseDilema Thu 24-Nov-16 17:42:38

I've already received legal advice, The Will clearly states that the properties are DBs during his lifetime, once he passes, the properties pass on to DCs. It doesn't matter if DB gets married although unlikely as he can't give consent to anything as he just doesn't understand.

I understand Eldest DCs concerns, I'm not dismissing them but he'll receive financial help from us as long as we both shall live, this is only to ensure that once we pass, DB has a safety net because he can't create one for himself.

BratFarrarsPony Thu 24-Nov-16 17:44:29

why dont you help your brother get a council/housing association place and leave the houses to your DC?

5moreminutes Thu 24-Nov-16 17:45:07

Who is going to have power of attorney for your DB? Or is he deemed fit to make his own financial decisions?

This could so easily end with someone swindling your DB out of everything within a year of him inheriting, or with him having to sell both properties to pay for his care.

If you've been as open with your previous will as this one you are effectively telling your DS1 he was going to inherit a life changing amount (as a reasonable deposit or enough to buy a 1 bed flat outright would be life changing) but you've just changed your mind. You must be able to see that he'd have to be a saint not to be hurt.

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 24-Nov-16 17:46:03

I don't think I am being unreasonable but I can see that their attitude really hurt DH. Can you understand why they are upset?

Also, who cares for your DB currently? Does he have an assessment, a SW, a care package? Have you spoken to SS about what will happen when you pass?

AcrossthePond55 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:46:05

I wouldn't will to DB outright. He's vulnerable and there's too much chance of him being taken advantage of by unscrupulous people!

Can't you give your DB a life tenancy and will the actual property to your children with the stipulation that neither place can be sold in your brother's lifetime?

Prawnofthepatriarchy Thu 24-Nov-16 17:46:37

You can put property into trust so it automatically reverts to DC after DB's death. DB would only have a lifetime interest and not be able to leave the property to anyone else.

People can get very unreasonable about wills. Tread carefully.

I think you need to take very good legal advice. What might happen if the rules about disability change, which they will? If DB is living in the cottage and living off the rental income from the house will that cover his care? Who pays for his care currently?

Prawnofthepatriarchy Thu 24-Nov-16 17:49:10

I agree with PP that you shouldn't dream of leaving anything to DB outright. He could easily be targeted for exploitation. But it's not going to be an issue if the estate is in trust, which would protect everyone.

FrancisCrawford Thu 24-Nov-16 17:49:46

Have you considered the possibility that after your death one of your DC could have a life altering illness or accident? The way things stand they would not be provided for but your DB would be.

EssentialHummus Thu 24-Nov-16 17:49:54

What's your DB's current setup? Does he have / is he eligible for council or sheltered housing? What does he receive?

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