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To think these people are really spoilt?

(50 Posts)
user1440853712 Thu 24-Nov-16 10:41:52

I was at uni and sat with some people that I normally sit with. I call one of them a friend but the other two I don't see them as such. These other two people were talking about their birthdays and this is what I heard. For the girl, on her 16th and 18th birthdays she received £2,000 from her grandmother, but on a normal birthday she "only gets £150". And I have heard that the other person has two cars, one vintage and one normal, as well as receiving £3000 for his birthday. He is 18 years old, to me that is very spoilt, as well as the girl basically saying £150 isn't a lot. I get around £30/40 from my grandparents for birthdays, my parents never bought me a car let alone two. Is it just me or does anyone else think these two people are spoilt? When they get a taste of the real world I think they won't know what's hit them. They both still live at home with their parents, god help them when they have their own places. When I was 18 last year I had no spare money because of my rent costing so much and I had to get an overdraft because of it and so I am now in debt. This has annoyed me slightly, they seem to take everything for granted and don't seem grateful for anything. Sorry for the long rant haha

annielouise Thu 24-Nov-16 10:46:19

I don't think they're excessively spoilt. Maybe she said she "only" gets £150 in comparison to the £2000. They don't sound too ungrateful either. They just sound a bit boastful and it's annoying being around people like that. At 18 you should have grown out of it a bit but it's just chat really. Regarding the vintage car and normal car the vintage one might be an old wreck being done up, even an old mini. Bit crass to be talking money but not much else. Let it drift over you like water off a duck's back. There's rich and poor wherever you go. Equally don't completely dismiss them for this. They might still be nice people just need to grow up a bit which a lot still do at 18.

CoraPirbright Thu 24-Nov-16 10:47:37

You say they don't seem grateful but you can't really know what's going on in their heads. I was given a car by my parents and occasionally the sort of money you describe (on the strict understanding it was to be saved to put towards something important in the future, not to fritter away) so I suppose I could have sounded to you like these two. However, I am very very grateful for what I have, know how bloody lucky I am and do understand the value of things. I guess I am saying that you are not U to think that they are given a lot but you are U to think that they take it for granted - they may not.

Grumpyoldblonde Thu 24-Nov-16 10:47:37

No, not necessarily spoilt, very lucky perhaps.
There is no reason to think they won't be ok after Uni in the real world. Maybe their families are well off. It sucks being broke but I don't think it makes a person noble tbh.

Vulty Thu 24-Nov-16 10:50:56

I would say thats a ridiculous amount of money for a birthday and the fact she said she ONLY got 150 for a normal birthday. I am like you I get 40 from one set of granparents each birthday, although for my 21st I got 100, shock of my life lol. and my other Grandparents usually give me a gift. It's very frustrating when people get things handed to them on a plate and have no appreciation.

BraveDancing Thu 24-Nov-16 10:51:12

Eh. Maybe. But I don’t think there’s much point getting wound up about it. Odds are if they are spoilt, they’ll still be spoilt when they get their own place – I knew a guy who went to law school and his dad bought him a flat, paid all his bills and paid off his credit card at the end of each term. He somehow turned out alright – a bit clueless with money, but generous, good natured and probably not really hurting anyone.

And if they do struggle, that’s their look out, but they’ve got time to figure it out. 18 is very young.

MrsDesireeCarthorse Thu 24-Nov-16 10:53:29

I think you've just read far too much into a very brief conversation between people whose families sound more affluent than yours. You'll meet some very wealthy people at university. Don't make the mistake of assuming that they are all spoilt and ungrateful simply because they have more than you, or that they don't live in the real world.

user1440853712 Thu 24-Nov-16 10:56:26

The thing is that this guy acts really arrogant and smug, I just ignore him but decided to have a little rant on here after what I heard earlier. He only passed his driving test two weeks ago and has two cars already?

NavyandWhite Thu 24-Nov-16 11:01:14

I think it can be hard for some people when they see that other people having more than them. Don't let it get to you OP. Envy isn't a nice feeling.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Thu 24-Nov-16 11:02:43

He only passed his driving test two weeks ago and has two cars already?

Meh. Not much good if he can't drive/prangs them straight off (possible).

You're going to meet a lot of people in life who are wealthier/have a different attitude towards money.

Best get used to it fast. smile

RebelandaStunner Thu 24-Nov-16 11:07:06

According to your rules to some people you are spoilt getting £30/40 as some people get less.
We and our dc get quite large amounts every year. You can't possibly know if they are grateful or not towards the givers.
We have had dc very poorly in hospital so don't worry we have had a taste of the real world hmm

Grumpyoldblonde Thu 24-Nov-16 11:12:53

I will add that if I am on the position to be able to buy my daughter a car at 18 I certainly will, I will be disappointed if she bragged about it though.
I would also dearly love to be able to give her a deposit on a property to start her off in the world, current circumstances mean it's unlikely but I would in a heartbeat.

YoungPretenderMortificado Thu 24-Nov-16 11:14:21

It doesn't take money to make folks act arrogant and smug.

Doesn't sound particularly over the top to me, lots of folks have a lot more and lots have a lot less. There are arrogant and smug and entitled folks across the spectrum of wealth to poverty.

Redpony1 Thu 24-Nov-16 11:14:30

Spoilt? No. Lucky? Very!

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl Thu 24-Nov-16 11:20:11

My grandparents were dead way before my 18th birthday and I never got any birthday money from anyone. You're spoilt and ungrateful to me if I follow your logic (but tbh I was like you at your age, jealous of other people being dealt with better cards than me. You'll learn to not give a flying duck about who has what at some point)

QuiltedAloeVera Thu 24-Nov-16 11:24:09

The 'real world' does also contain people with lots of money in it.

Try not to compare your situation to those of others, it won't make you happy, whether the people you're comparing to have more or less than you.

ElizabethHoney Thu 24-Nov-16 11:26:48

Spoilt? Quite possibly, although the "only £150" might have been insecurity and bravado speaking rather than ingratitude.

Unprepared for the real world? Quite possibly. Although I suspect people thought that of me at uni because I was from a fairly wealthy background which an accent and education to match. They didn't know that I'd already survived child abuse and rape and lost a baby. I wasn't ready to share at that point, but it really infuriated me when people implied I'd had a cushy life and knew nothing of difficult times.

Crass? Definitely.
Insensitive? Definitely.
Immature? Definitely.

I don't blame you for feeling irritated.

MorrisZapp Thu 24-Nov-16 11:31:36

I think everybody just wants to give their kids the best that they can. My own DS is hugely 'spoiled' compared to my happy but spartan seventies childhood.

The thing is, when I waltz into John Lewis and buy him eighty quids worth of assorted sleepwear, I'm buying it for the little girl I used to be, happy but making do with hand me downs.

To people who can't afford that, I get that it may look spoiled or indulgent but I'll never apologise for the fun and joy I get from buying my son lovely stuff.

SoupDragon Thu 24-Nov-16 11:33:49

They are probably as much spoilt as you are jealous.

I can't believe you've got to 19 without realising people have differto not amounts of money and thus view things differently.

Life is not a competition.

Hellochicken Thu 24-Nov-16 11:34:09

To me spoilt means overindulged. So this can be with little money or a lot. What you have described is them being given a lot of money. It's all relative.

If their parents have a lot of money, it's not strange that they would give it to their loved ones. They may never go into the "real world" if by that you mean be short on money. Or they may and when they do they may have to learn money management or they may be fine at living in limited income, but just not have to now.

Spoilt is the attitute and entitled behaviour. At the same time I wouldn't talk about money to many people. It's controversial!

Amelie10 Thu 24-Nov-16 11:38:31

*They are probably as much spoilt as you are jealous.

I can't believe you've got to 19 without realising people have differto not amounts of money and thus view things differently.

Life is not a competition.*

This! What do you get from complaining about them other than being bitter? Really how does it affect your life unless you are unhappy with yours?

Bluntness100 Thu 24-Nov-16 11:40:02

If they come from wealthy families no not necessarily, there will be people who get a lot more and people who get a lot less. It's all about our personal norms, for them this is their norm, There is no reason to think they subsquenly won't cope in the real world.

I think maybe you've got a little envy or bitterness creeping in, but there is people who have a lot less than you, and there will be people who have more. That's the way life is. No point getting wound up about it.

Sparlklesilverglitter Thu 24-Nov-16 11:40:08

I wouldn't say spoilt.

If they have a wealthy family then to them 2000/3000 won't be seen as a lot of money. To some people that really is nothing, to somebody else that is loads

In life no matter how old you get someone will always have more than you, you will always think someone else's spending is excessive

ThatGingerOne Thu 24-Nov-16 11:41:02

Its whether or not they appreciate it and feel 'entitled' to the money.

For example, I get extra funding from the uni due to low income and being from a deprived area. My friend (who is rich and has her own car, doesn't work because her parents send her a couple of thousand a month) said its not fair and it should be something everyone can apply for, not just the 'poor'.

witsender Thu 24-Nov-16 11:43:13

It depends how they treat it. I always used to get around 100-150 from grandparents or presents to the value of,and more for bigger birthdays. I've had biggish lump sums from them, and was bought a car when I was 17. It wasn't at all unusual in my circles. I don't consider myself spoilt either now or then.

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