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AIBU?

Would this reference put you off

103 replies

Justbobbin · 24/11/2016 09:06

Got a reference back for a young woman I interviewed. I'm fairly new into Management but have always taken on people I already knew.

She was in her late 20s, first professional interview, she was very every nervous when answering the questions but didn't seem at least nervous during small
Talk before it after the interview.

We told her she had been unsuccessful two weeks ago and she was lovely on the phone,saying she was disappointed but understood as she was very nervous.

Anyway i by coincidence find myself speaking to her old manager who said he was surprised she didn't so well in the interview as as was very out-goi f in day to day work. He said she was very honest and genuine and she was very positive. He said she would be a bit too honest at times and would give her opinion on everything including people which other then repeated and caused those ah edits had talked about to dislike her. But she learned towards the end of the placement to just not give her opinion put loud and keep them in her head.

He said she was extremely calm and empathetic during times of conflict and had a warm and friendly personality.

He said sometimes she spoke too much about her private life and got quite drunk at her leaving party.

He said she was amusingly unconventional.

I'm really worried about the getting drunk,gossiping and the too much talking.

But she was very graceful in the interview and seemed really sweet not a ladette!

What would you take from this reference?

I ask because I liked her at interview and it wasn't me who chose not to employ her but the other two staff members interviewing.

I have another position become available and I'd like to offer he really it.

OP posts:
Justbobbin · 24/11/2016 09:07

Sorry for typing errors. I'm in a rush and on my iPhone.

OP posts:
SouthWindsWesterly · 24/11/2016 09:07

Ring her up and offer her the chance to interview. See how she does next time

toomuchtooold · 24/11/2016 09:13

She sounds like she's shy and overcompensates. I think with a sympathetic (but not soft, IYSWIM) manager she'd probably settle down OK.

SeparatedByMotorways · 24/11/2016 09:14

Her previous manager sounds a bit awful. How much of that information was strictly necessary? I'd take be inclined to take it with a pinch of salt...

BadKnee · 24/11/2016 09:15

That wouldn't worry me. She sounds good, just a bit young, and she has learnt from her behaviour.

Unless your job is one in which confidentiality is utterly vital - eg MI5 or high finance I wouldn't worry.

Everyone gossips about colleagues at some point in their working carer - and we learn not to!!! (It also depends what she said - " X is a moody bugger" or "Did you know X is having an affair with Y and is pregnant with his baby?" or "XYZ company have just pulled the plug and so we are negotiating a top secret deal with ABC company"

Trust your gut - if you like her and think she would do a good job - give her a chance. She will have a probation period and you can watch for that.

TheStoic · 24/11/2016 09:17

So it wasn't an official 'reference', but more an informal chat? Did she know you'd be talking to her old manager about her?

AliceInHinterland · 24/11/2016 09:17

We all have our negative points, and it seems unfair that you know hers in detail which would not be the case for other candidates. She really is very young and you can ask her not to gossip, or get drunk on work occasions if these become an issue. Give the girl a chance!

AliceInHinterland · 24/11/2016 09:18

By the way, you two were gossiping, it's not a reference!

maddiemookins16mum · 24/11/2016 09:20

I'd give her a chance, isn't it the law to get a bit squiffy at ones leaving do!!

saoirse31 · 24/11/2016 09:20

Mmm possibly manager was warning u tbh. Why take on someone when you've been warned of some frankly quite irritating characteristics. Also, she didn't do well at interview and I'd wonder were the interviewers who didn't want her more experienced than you in mgt.

While I sound negative, having someone in ur team who causes trouble among team can be awful.

So I'd be thinking v seriously...

Lewwat · 24/11/2016 09:21

Because she got drunk at her leaving party you think she's a ladette?! Shock

Dozer · 24/11/2016 09:22

No, I wouldn't offer her the job.

VintagePerfumista · 24/11/2016 09:22

Her old boss sounds very unprofessional, but tbh, she sounds dreadful.

Your gut at her professional, formal interview told you she was unsuitable, now on the basis of an informal chat with her boss who tells you that she's nice enough and kind to people having problems, but (to sum up) basically has no boundaries of any kind, you want to offer a job?

Why on earth would you?

None of the blabbing about her private life, or getting pissed, or giving her opinion are any reflection on her ability to do a job- but her old boss focuses on those things, doesn't he? Which I think is very telling.

VintagePerfumista · 24/11/2016 09:22

What was his written reference for her like?

GinIsIn · 24/11/2016 09:24

Well, I'd take it as a sign that her old boss had zero professionalism, for a start! As PPs have said, that's not a reference. It's gossip. I would get her back in to interview for the other role.

DeleteOrDecay · 24/11/2016 09:24

YABU for using the term 'Ladette'.

And for calling this a reference when really it was gossiping. Nothing wrong with that but at least own it for what it is.

She sounds normal, we all have our faults and hers could be worse.

Topseyt · 24/11/2016 09:24

But you had told her she had been unsuccessful?? Why are you even looking for a reference?

It was an informal gossip, wasn't it.

If you actually liked her then re-interview her.

FizzBombBathTime · 24/11/2016 09:25

So you two were gossiping about her being a supposed gossip?

BreatheDeep · 24/11/2016 09:26

Your worries are:

  • Talking too much - seems she's already learnt not to do that anymore
  • Getting drunk at her leaving do - find me someone who hasn't. She's young, she drinks outside of work. It had no effect on her work at all. This isn't an issue.
  • She 'gossips' - so were you and her old manager.


So there's not really anything to be concerned about is there? The rest if what the manager said seems pretty good to me.
viques · 24/11/2016 09:26

If she didn't score on the interview then it is right that she didn't get the job. If you have another job available then by all means invite her to apply, but offering the job should be on interview and written reference success terms only.

Very different if you are employing someone in your own company with a tiny workforce, but you clearly work for an organisation that employs enough people to have developed a recruitment policy and adopted specific standards, so you should stick to those.

You say you are new to managing, believe me, only employing people on the basis that you know them will eventually lead to resentment, and also makes it very difficult if you misjudge someone and they are not right for the job.

Cardilover · 24/11/2016 09:30

I'd remember that he gave you this opinion knowing that you hadn't employed her so it wouldnt affect your decision. If he'd known it she was being considered he may have been less positive (and prob kept the gossip to himself!). I think you should reinterview and make the decision on that alone.
What were the reservations of the other two panel members?

Mondegreens · 24/11/2016 09:32

I think there are a couple of issues here -- her former boss sounds deeply unprofessional, your perhaps more experienced colleagues opted not to offer her a job, and she doesn't sound like a great option, anyway. Why are so you taken with her? Whether you like her or not is largely irrelevant (albeit that it's more pleasant to hire people you can handle close contact with on a regular basis) - but her former boss, whatever one thinks of his professionalism, doesn't seem to be focusing on the essentials at all, by going on about her niceness, leaving party and her oversharing. It doesn't matter whether she's the life and soul of the party - can she do her job???

And I thought until you said she was in her late twenties that she was very, very young - I'd expect someone of that age to have worked out professional modes of behaviour long since, tbh.

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RedMapleLeaf · 24/11/2016 09:34

I don't understand Hmm Why were you discussing her in such an unprofessional manner when you'd already decided you weren't going to offer the job?

shovetheholly · 24/11/2016 09:34

That is the most bizarre reference I have ever heard. It's all about her personality, nothing about her aptitude or professional skills. Frankly, I don't think some of that detail really has a place in a reference.

FWIW, though, I think she sounds lovely. She's straight-shooting, compassionate, and personable (one person's 'talks too much about her private life' is another person's 'easy to relate to). I don't think you can say that because someone got drunk at a leaving party - which by definition happens when you are out of the job - they are some kind of alcoholic ladette!

My concern wouldn't be her character but her skills and aptitude for the job, though.

BertrandRussell · 24/11/2016 09:37

What did he put in his official reference?

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