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To be gutted that DD has to do an extra year of Sixth Form?

(165 Posts)
LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:22:58

To be honest, the sadness has only just kicked in, as all her friends are going to look at unis, etc. she is staying on (well, moving to a different college) to repeat the a year sad she is currently repeating her AS.

She seems really happy about it, saying that it gives her a chance to work harder at it, as now she has failed, she knows how it's important to put the time in and says she's actually glad she failed hmmshock that's the sentence that really pisses me off.

She then says how she might not even want to go to uni sad I know it's pathetic, but I never went to uni and know how shit it is to be struggling in a crap job.

She says she might even do an apprenticeship, the reason this is annoying is because she has her eye on an apprenticeship she can do right now (you need to have done GCSEs) so I'm not getting why she wants to waste this time getting A-Levels when she can go into it right now? Is it just me, or does it seem silly what she is doing?

To be honest, she's so blasé about it and it really winds me up blush

GreatFuckability Thu 24-Nov-16 00:26:23

Its true what they say about youth being wasted on the young sometimes, but ultimately its her life and if uni isn't for her then that's up to her. It doesn't mean a life time of shit jobs. That said you are within your rights whilst presumably supporting her to know what does intend doing. Maybe she's feeling a little lost and needs some impartial guidance

LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:32:43

But she's literally going to be 3 years behind... confused

Manumission Thu 24-Nov-16 00:34:06

Why three years behind? confused

GreatFuckability Thu 24-Nov-16 00:34:32

3 years behind what? Loads of people take a year out or work before uni, or need to resit. Its not a race!

TheCuriousOwl Thu 24-Nov-16 00:35:55

You know what though, really there is no 'behind'. I did a second undergraduate degree and was in no way behind my 21 year old peers when we graduated, nor were my 30something peers behind me! Once you get out of school it matters less. Lots of people don't go to uni at 18 anyway.

Manumission Thu 24-Nov-16 00:37:16

Oh because of the idea to an apprenticeship after Alevels?

There are "degree apprenticeships" now; Literally getting a degree by apprenticeship route. Many of them are very prestigious and competitive.

If she does one of those she won't be '3 years behind'. They're great schemes.

Try not to panic or give her negative messages.

timelytess Thu 24-Nov-16 00:37:23

Don't give it a second thought. Its fine. She'll get to uni, no-one will notice the age difference, her life will be on track. Support her in this, make it a happy and successful time for her.

LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:38:00

Because if she does the apprenticeship, that's something she could have done when she left school, but used 3 years to do the A-levels...

MinnowAndTheBear Thu 24-Nov-16 00:38:09

What's the rush?

Eevee77 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:38:23

3 year behind...on your timescale.
She's still so young, maybe repeating a year will give a longer chance to think about what she wants to be doing and what direction she wants to go in. Just because she's considering an apprenticeship it doesn't mean she can't also have her A-levels. Offer to look into apprenticeships with her.

SheSparkles Thu 24-Nov-16 00:38:38

Behind what?
University isn't the be all and end all...although I'd encourage her to continue with her A levels so that if she does decide to go to uni at a later date, she has the qualifications to get in.

LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:39:19

Well yeah there are degree apprenticeships but she wants to be a lab tech and hasn't got a science A-level. I'm really not getting her choices. I don't know why I let it annoy me so much!!

Manumission Thu 24-Nov-16 00:39:42

And no it doesn't seem silly. She's finding her path. There are lots to choose from. She actually sounds very grounded and sensible. I'm sure she'll do fine whatever she does. Your support is important whichever route she takes.

LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:39:50

As in lab tech apprenticeship

LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:40:17

So she'll get a BTEC Science thing...

Manumission Thu 24-Nov-16 00:40:38

Which A levels is she doing?

CouldIHaveIt Thu 24-Nov-16 00:40:59


Don't you remember how it felt? I do. I had no bloody idea what I wanted to do. Well, that's not quite true, I wanted to do SO many things, I didn't know what to do.

Take a deep breath.

Really, what is the actual problem with her doing 6th firm again, especially when she us happy about it?

I don't get why you're saying 3 years, but even if it was, so what?

She's redoing 6th firm, she's happy to do so & knows she needs to work to get good grades, it's not like she's selling crack.

You really need to work out what your actual problem with this is.

LoopyHoopy Thu 24-Nov-16 00:41:59

She's doing maths, philosophy & ethics and French a bloody bit of everything confusedconfused

TinklyLittleLaugh Thu 24-Nov-16 00:42:07

There's no rush is there? She's probably got 50+ years of working ahead of her. Hopefully she'll enjoy college while she can.

crazywriter Thu 24-Nov-16 00:43:41

I repeated a year at a levels. Really it was the best thing that happened because I walked out with excellent grades. My excuse was spending 6.months of the year off being in and out of hospital though the first year.

I also repeated a year at uni. Just.not great academically but my.parents pushed me into going to uni because they didn't get to go. It was a waste of time for me since I'm not even using my degree that I didn't really want to do.

Please don't push your daughter into a decision she doesn't want to make. My parents ended up being totally behind my sister when she dropped out of uni e months in because she realised it wasn't for her. She's also in an excellent job despite no degree and ahead of her friends who did go to uni.

She may not be doing what you want her to do but she's happy. Isn't that what counts? BTW open uni is an option later and there are plenty of mature students.

GreatFuckability Thu 24-Nov-16 00:45:11

God, you need to chill out and leave the girl make her own choices.

CouldIHaveIt Thu 24-Nov-16 00:46:07

Cross posted

Honestly. So what if she could have done an apprenticeship with GCSE's only? Getting A levels will open more doors for her in the future.

I get you want her to have a better job & better opportunities than you had, but you really have to stop thinking of it like a race. It's more like a maze! She will work it out, she might have several careers in her life. Education isn't wasted.

Manumission Thu 24-Nov-16 00:46:54

Maybe she's trying to please lots of different people or conform to different things simultaneously?

torroloco Thu 24-Nov-16 00:47:57

She is 17- not 77.

She doesn't have to go to uni at 18- I know people in their 30s, 40s and 50s who have been/are at university. My aunt is 56 and graduated last year- did 3 years at uni and did an access course for a year before that.

I have friends I went to school with who went to university and only a handful of them are happy/are in a job related to what they studied- one trained as a nurse and hates it and says she would rather work in McDonalds, another who did an arts related degree is now training to do something else (and considering paying to go back to university) and others who haven't even been able to get jobs in the field they trained in despite most of them graduating 4/5 years ago.

I think this is more down to the fact you want your daughter to go in one direction and she perhaps wants to go in another. I understand it's frustrating for you- but she isn't even an adult yet. I doubt there has been many 17 year olds who have decided at that age "I want to do X and I will do it for the next 50 years"- at least, I haven't heard of many.

Just because she is making one decision at 17- doesn't mean she will be making the same decision at 27 when she has gone out into "the real world" and realised how hard it is.

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