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How long would you leave a 12 year old at home for (alone)?

(104 Posts)
LaurieLauren Wed 23-Nov-16 23:55:01

This will become an AIBU, but would really like to know this first...

Redglitter Wed 23-Nov-16 23:56:18

My niece is 12 and gets left for a max of a couple of hours with a list of rules

MillionToOneChances Wed 23-Nov-16 23:58:57

A couple of hours, and I don't like to go too far. The longest was 4 hours but we phoned him between each of the three activities he was desperate not to come to.

maxfielder20 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:00:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LaurieLauren Thu 24-Nov-16 00:00:29

Almost 13, if that makes a difference...

crunched Thu 24-Nov-16 00:02:52

Around 3 to 4 hours in daylight if I had to - and they knew how to get hold of me.
Once it is dark though, I probably wouldn't leave them without company for more than 20 minutes.

QueenOfTheNaps Thu 24-Nov-16 00:03:00

2/3 hours maybe? Depending on how far we are, what time of day it is, etc.

NotJimbo Thu 24-Nov-16 00:03:17

prob 4 hours, maybe more if you check in by phone from time to time

Crispbutty Thu 24-Nov-16 00:04:24

Depends on the maturity of the child. My parents were dance teachers and were out three or four evenings a week until about 10.30pm. I got on with my homework, watched tv and was ready for bed when they got home.

LaurieLauren Thu 24-Nov-16 00:04:29

Would you leave for 6 hours? With a phone call every 2 hours?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 24-Nov-16 00:04:37

Couple of hours if they are happy.

Mitfordhons Thu 24-Nov-16 00:05:45

If my DS was off school ill with something relatively minor I wouldn't take the day off work, his older sister would be home by 4. He's 13.

NoBetterName Thu 24-Nov-16 00:06:19

When I was 13, my DM would leave me at home with our dog in the school holidays whilst she went to work. She did leave me with a long list of jobs to do though and to be fair, I was probably quite a sensible 13 year old in many ways. The NDN knew I was home alone too and would keep an eye out.

It's probably not acceptable these days. This was in the mid '80s.

QueenOfTheNaps Thu 24-Nov-16 00:10:47

6 hours might be pushing it for me. Mainly because it would definitely mean they were on their own for a meal time and I don't trust mine to prepare food (I know, I should but my anxiety makes me think they'll burn the house down by sticking a whole sandwich in the toaster or something).
Also, I'd feel a bit sad about them eating on their own in case they felt lonely... now I've seen that written down it seems so pathetic of me lol.

ChipIn Thu 24-Nov-16 00:10:59

OP, 6 hours with two hourly phone calls seems reasonable to me. I would have managed fine as a 12 year old. As long as your DC is sensible and can be trusted. I would have been told no to answer the door to anyone I didn't know or attempt to cook anything.

MrsJakeLovell Thu 24-Nov-16 00:11:54

My 12 year old year 7 DS had an INSET day Monday so was on his own all day with phone calls when I got to work, break, lunch and as I left to come home.

No other choice and he quite enjoyed the freedom.

LaurieLauren Thu 24-Nov-16 00:12:05

I'll prep lunch and leave it in the fridge

TheTartOfAsgard Thu 24-Nov-16 00:12:20

My ds 12 and dd 13 stay home alone 3 nights per week from 4 til 9:30 pm when I get home from work. In holidays they're home (or out with their mates) all day. I'm a single parent, there's no childcare for secondary age in my village so it's the same for most working parents here.

Eevee77 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:12:32

6 hours? Hmm as a one off I would. Frequent phone calls and leave entertainment

OhFuds Thu 24-Nov-16 00:13:26

I'd leave mine for 6 hours, he'd just be playing his Ps4 or watching tele.

LaurieLauren Thu 24-Nov-16 00:13:49

It'll be for tomorrow, Friday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday...

goddessofsmallthings Thu 24-Nov-16 00:14:17

It would depend entirely on the maturity of the child and whether the child was happy to be left, but I wouldn't leave a child home alone at night.

In any event, I would ensure that a neighbour was available in case of emergency.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 24-Nov-16 00:17:05

Has the child been left on its own before or will be this the first time the child has been left alone while you're away for an extended period, OP?

MrsJakeLovell Thu 24-Nov-16 00:17:10

It was for about 8 1/2 hours and he microwaved some salmon for lunch and had the dog for company. Having said that, three days on the trot seems quite a lot.

No other option? My DS walks to library and local cinema

jayisforjessica Thu 24-Nov-16 00:19:31

From the time I was twelve, my parents used to leave me in the house by myself while they took my sister on holiday for a couple of weeks (fishing, which they knew I would hate, so I was happy to be left). The next door neighbor was on call if I needed anything - for the first couple of summers, I slept at her house (spending the days doing what I wanted in my house), but by the time I was fourteen I was allowed to sleep at home alone too. I had grocery vouchers to buy my own food (it wasn't a very long walk to the supermarket) and cash for buses etc, and I thrived on the independence. So yeah, it really depends on the child.

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