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(9 Posts)
reindeerbitesback Wed 23-Nov-16 22:46:05

I never wanted to feel like this when I got a bfp but I'm disappointed. I'm 6 weeks pregnant and due to be married in 7 weeks.

My DP and I had been planning to ttc after the wedding, so it's not a big horror, our families aren't very religious, we aren't in poverty, and we want a child. The timing is just horrible. If this pregnancy is anything like my last one, I'll be visibly showing by 13 weeks. I have also previously lost a pregnancy at 13 weeks so wouldn't feel comfortable having people know about it before I was ready. My dress is quite tightly fitting and I lost a lot of weight to wear it so can't don't really want to change it, but think I'll have to.

I know I'm being unreasonable and even as I'm typing this I'm smiling at the thought of the life inside me and how pleased my DP will be, I'm just frightened. I'm having images of miscarrying in my white dress stood at the altar and spending the rest of my wedding day on the toilet sobbing.

Just tell me if I need to get over myself and be happy, and that I'm selfish for feeling this way when thousands of women struggle to ttc. I know it. I just can't tell anyone else how I'm feeling. IABU, aren't I?

Sherlock35 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:50:20

Not at all. You've got two major life changing, wonderful but incredibly stressful events happening right now. It's completely understandable that you are anxious about them. Deep breaths.

reindeerbitesback Wed 23-Nov-16 23:01:27

Thank you, Sherlock.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 23-Nov-16 23:18:26

Congratulations cake

Even if you're showing at 13 weeks you dont have to say anything, maybe tell close family but you don't have to. If anyone asks outright they're rude. Feign ignorance of any pointed hints or questions.

DirtyDancing Wed 23-Nov-16 23:27:28

There is a miscarriage support thread in pregnancy that has been brilliant for me and might help support you through this. I do understand the fear of it happening again is so very tough x

reindeerbitesback Wed 23-Nov-16 23:43:42

harderandharder - thank you. Hopefully they will simply assume I have put some weight back on. I'm not the best at feigning ignorance (I giggle), but I'll try smile

DirtyDancing - I'll head there now. Thank you. I'm sorry to hear that you've been in need of the support.

Jedimum1 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:41:37

Ask your GP, but if remember right, at 13 weeks you could still put on some waist compression cinchers for a few hours. You are likely to show a bit because you've already had children and the muscles are not as times as (potentially) with the first, but I think for a few hours you might be able to wear it without risk, for pictures or church. Do ask GP, though, I'm not an expert and I'm talking by memory. I put one for two hours to go to an interview, my GP saud it was OK, but I can't remember how far along I was. Ask midwife next visit. You could then change into a second dress, something confier and a bit loose or with some ruffle / scrunched effect to hide it? Never a better excuse to get two dresses! :D

In any case, I think that people will not notice or think you've just put back a bit if weight.

Congratulations!!! Twice!!!!
Honestly, it's not just about the day, it's what symbolises thar makes a wedding day do special. It is about commitment to each other and for most of us also about placing the first stone to build a family. You have that. It will be extra special to know that your little one is present in your wedding, hiding underneath the dress smile

Jedimum1 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:44:20

*tight, not times; *said, not saud; *of weight, not if weight.... etc hmm

MommaGee Thu 24-Nov-16 00:57:58

Congratulations! Of course you're not selfish, your anxious. Definitely try and get your 12 scan done on time to hopefully make you feel better, keep a half full glass of champagne around so people assume you're drinking and have an amazing day! X

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