I need some advice about my mother in law. For months she has been driving me crazy and I feel things have come to a head and I can't cope with her anymore.
It began the day we announced I was pregnant when her first questions were whether my mother knew and how long she'd known, then she went on to the name and told us she didn't like the name we had picked, then she repeatedly asked to be at the birth and 'not to be sidelined'.
In the following weeks/ months she continued to say she didn't like the name and asked every time if we had changed our minds and even told us to check the top 100 baby names for ideas. She also badgered me constantly about what she would be called, despite me agreeing to her being called nana (which was what she wanted) she was not happy as my mother was also nana.
When my baby was born she came to the hospital and brought me nothing and didn't ask if I needed anything, she did nothing for us after we came home with the baby whereas my family helped with cooking, washing, shopping etc. Her only contribution was to ask to take the baby for walks, which isn't what I wanted as she was only days old. She asked when my child was 10 days old for me to think of days that she could have her every week, I said I wasn't ready for that but she asked again an hour later.
Since then I have taken the baby to see her almost every week for several hours at a time. I have on occasion left the baby with her but reluctantly because on one occasion she would not return my child when I asked and said she was out with her when I said I would come and pick her up, she then said she was sleeping which was a lie to put me off going to get her.
I feel really uneasy going to see her because she tries to get the baby off me the second I enter her house, and she doesn't give the baby back until I am at the door to leave and she usually tries to stall me.
Whenever I see her she always says that she wants me to leave the baby with her while I go shopping or something or she wants to take the baby somewhere without me, she has even sent me messages telling me there are films on at the cinema and I should go and leave the baby with her. She was pushing me to work days that would mean she could have the baby more, regardless of what suited me best.
I know a lot of people would probably think I'm mad and love to offload their children, to clarify I'm not completely possessive, I don't mind leaving her with family, but I just find it really unsettling that from day one it has been her objective to see my baby without me or my husband being there. She's also really difficult with my husband and gets irritated and sulks if he tells her what to do with our child.
If anyone can give any advice I would appreciate it. I am fairly certain the reason is she doesn't like me or my husband, but still wants our child, I just don't know how to deal with her anymore.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Mother in law problems
43 replies
ClareN1980 · 23/11/2016 21:13
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.