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To think this could be the most embarrassing parent moment EVER?

(119 Posts)
Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 19:34:04

13 year old son found my rampant rabbit!!!! confusedconfusedconfused

Bluntness100 Wed 23-Nov-16 19:35:06

Oh,,,,ehrm yup, it's certainly up there. What did you say?

MabelWotsits Wed 23-Nov-16 19:35:09

Yeah that's really grim. Poor kid.

Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 19:38:18

I told him someone bought it for me at my hen do as a joke and I was showing it to husband as a laugh blush it was in the ensuite sad

saltandvinegarcrisps1 Wed 23-Nov-16 19:55:23

A friend once caught her ,9 year old ds waving hers around a LA Luke Skywalker as a light sabre,!

maxfielder20 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:00:03

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Greengoddess12 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:02:18

grim poor kid hmm

Think he will survive.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 23-Nov-16 20:03:58

At least he didn't walk in on you using it

SawdustInMyHair Wed 23-Nov-16 20:06:33

"yup, it's certainly up there"

I assumed he just found it in her drawer.

ohjesusohjesusmysides

WineIsMyMainVice Wed 23-Nov-16 20:08:02

"At least he didn't walk in on you using it"

This would have been WAY worse!

HOHOHOvariesBeforeBrovaries Wed 23-Nov-16 20:09:15

I assumed he just found it in her drawer.

I am so done grin grin grin

PaulDacresConscience Wed 23-Nov-16 20:12:57

You know this will end up in the Fail, don't you?

<waves to lurking 'journalist'>

Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:16:54

Gutted envy me and DH had a spare half hour earlier baby was asleep had a spot of afternoon delight with toys included and left it in there after the wash down...

Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:17:37

What's 'The Fail'?

PaulDacresConscience Wed 23-Nov-16 20:19:58

The Daily Mail - who have form for nicking any thread they feel like off MN and quoting huge chunks of it, along with screengrabs, in their online rag.

Ditto The Independent, Huffington Post and occasionally The Guardian.

Pinkangel23 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:20:49

It's ok OP, I woke up one morning to my 7 yr old son waving the buzzing thing in my faceblush. I told him it was a kind of medicine for ladies and I think he accepted it.

I also found my mum's when I was in my teens- I was mortified but tried forget I ever saw it. Your son will be the same grin.

JellyBelli Wed 23-Nov-16 20:25:10

Mine switched itself on in the drawer and everyone wondered what the odd noise was, including yours truly. Worst. treasure. hunt. ever. blush

TheNewWife Wed 23-Nov-16 20:25:31

Oh dear OP, not much you can say to that one!
Mine is getting binned as soon as DC is walking/talking - thanks for the heads up!

Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:27:25

He even started questioning me about it... you don't use it do you?? What are all the buttons?? Etc

pipsqueak25 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:27:41

grin

DrQuinzel Wed 23-Nov-16 20:28:24

Yes. My dad found mine when I was 17, most embarrassing child moment ever.

BlingyMcBling Wed 23-Nov-16 20:28:44

Well, when I was in my teens i found my DDad's stash of playboy. .... and a sex video the parents had made.

I got over it. (I never told them though!)

MissVictoria Wed 23-Nov-16 20:28:47

The mirror nick stuff off here too.

Halloweensnake Wed 23-Nov-16 20:29:59

Could of been worse,my friends 5 yr old wanted to take hers in to show and tell....no just no..

MissVictoria Wed 23-Nov-16 20:30:22

When i was 11, playing hide and seek at my friends house, i found her dads porn mag stash under her 5 year old brothers mattress. Said friend and our other mate who was there went looking through them while i tried to look anywhere but at the mags!

Boogers Wed 23-Nov-16 20:36:06

Do people still have rampant rabbits? I bought one 12 years ago and it was crap.I'd rather use my hand, thank you very much. Not had that big a let down since Chris in Hillsborough with the weird kinky penis...

Approximateh0usewife Wed 23-Nov-16 20:38:51

Expecting husband home early half day on anniversary and in effort to be superwife got special off the internet saucy outfit complete with stripper heels. Got into gear and headed down to kitchen to await his return. He was beaten home by 18 yo son. Managed to escaped to downstairs loo before too much scaring inflicted on son. special anniversary cancelled. Still have the heels though.

SoTheySentMeA Wed 23-Nov-16 20:42:17

what are all the buttons? omg gringringrin I can't breathe grin

togetherlikeglue Wed 23-Nov-16 20:42:50

show and tell

Arrrrrrrffffffff

DrinkFeckArseGirls Wed 23-Nov-16 20:45:04

I'm more shocked you say "afternoon delight", ironic or not.

Lemon12345 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:48:53

DH and I found MIL's. She asked us to find something in her room, I went to help DH as we were in a rush to leave. Found that on nightstand...

My poor mother found 2 of mine and a pair of handcuffs (bought by a friend as a joke...) under my mattress once. No idea what she was doing routing under my mattress. It was a divan bed base so she would of been having to look under the mattress itself.

Also once as a teen boyfriend and I had an 'active' weekend. Put them in a big black bin bag as I was also having a clear out. Our dog pulled them all out of the bag and left them all over my room/landing and even put one on DP's bed as it was the next room over. DM found them, I was out and DF was expected home. She (thank god) cleaned it all up. Luckily dog only destroyed the tissues, didn't eat any. I am eternally grateful but squirm everytime she mentions it.

Lemon12345 Wed 23-Nov-16 20:50:30

Approx! That's more traumatising than finding a rabbit! Haha

Ineedmorelemonpledge Wed 23-Nov-16 20:55:09

I bundled mine into a towel and threw it in the wash basket. DS was 4 found it, played with it and put it back without me knowing.

Then asked me where Mr. Shakey had gone one day. I said who? He said Mr Shakey that lives in the wash basket.

He found my womaniser - he thinks it's an ear thermometer.

Readytomakechanges Wed 23-Nov-16 20:55:37

DD (age 2) in busy public toilet. "Is there blood this time Mummy?" "Shhh, not this time DD." "No blood this time Mummy, so why you got dirty nik naks on?" (Old pair of white pants, clean but with old blood stain I couldn't get out on them).

HateMrTumble Wed 23-Nov-16 21:04:50

Two year old.. "is that your winky mummy?" giggles

realistic vibrator shockblush

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Wed 23-Nov-16 21:07:50

"That's mummy's special tickle stick. Now go wash your hands"
(Nicked from Forest Friends)

Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 21:19:26

It's now back in the bottoms of DH wardrobe under a Wigan Athletic scarf where it belongs... might buy a digital safe....

chinam Wed 23-Nov-16 21:24:14

Mr Shakey grin blush grin

SuperFlyHigh Wed 23-Nov-16 21:32:29

My DB and SIL once came round and redecorated and tidied my bedroom in my flat as a cheer up treat whilst I was away on holiday (I'd been wanting it decorating for ages but proscrastinated) - all new curtains, duvet cover etc... Then DB said SIL had found my pink sparkly Ann summers vibrator in a bottom drawer... SIL is quite shockable so I hope they just went urgh and put it back.

Another time my mum was over helping me sort out charity bags... We were going through stuff and I found my Agent Provacateur black and cream basque and knickers and some other sexy lingerie in a drawer had forgot they were there... Had been single for a while but had used them with last boyfriend not that long before... My mum said "oh you've got no need for these anymore now you're single" and I went to snatch them back off her and showed them back in a drawer muttering "and what do you know?" As an aside to her under my breath.

Allthewaves Wed 23-Nov-16 21:40:23

Was living at dh granny's house. We moved into our own house. Mil was clearing out our old room and found our bag of kinky stuff. She thought it was hilarious but handed it discretely back to me

SquinkiesRule Wed 23-Nov-16 21:43:19

OMG this thread has brought back the memory of me finding my Mums when I was about 13 or 14.
No, now I want some brain bleach, it had been buried somewhere in my mind after so many years. How long till I can bury that memory again!

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Wed 23-Nov-16 22:05:38

a kind of medicine for ladies. grin. Can I get one off the NHS?

Shakirawannabe Wed 23-Nov-16 22:07:18

DH just burst out laughing at *Mr Shakey*gringringrin

ClashCityRocker Wed 23-Nov-16 22:08:29

After a discussion, aged 12, of concerns about weight, I remember showing my friends what my mother had assured me was her 'fat massager'.

It took me a long long time to live that down.

Happily, mother is still oblivious.

P00pchute Wed 23-Nov-16 22:32:36

Mine fell off a shelf and out of a shoebox onto my Mums head, when she was helping me move house. I was quite embarrassed and then my Aunt remarked 'it's ok love, your Mum's is bigger.'

canwestart2016again Wed 23-Nov-16 22:36:06

I told him it was a kind of medicine for ladies

Isn't that why they were invented in the first place? As medicine to treat Victorian women with "hysteria" because the doctor was getting tired of using his hand to make his female patients orgasm as their "treatment"

No seriously, I shit you not - it's not a bad porn plot, it's really real!

80schild Wed 23-Nov-16 22:43:16

You can find lots of pictures on the Internet of early ones, which were used for medicinal purposes. I didn't quite believe it at first.

I think my DS has been traumatised by me in his early years. He used to walk in on me all the time and was under the illusion that I wore nappies (sanitary towels) and had a willy (tampon string).

canwestart2016again Wed 23-Nov-16 22:48:59

Like this? grin

tireddotcom72 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:50:08

I'm a reception teacher and have had a child bring one in for show and tell - very unprofessional but lots of giggles in the staff room over that one

SoupDragon Wed 23-Nov-16 22:59:22

Yep, this one will end up in the Daily Mail for sure.

Appropriate "story" for a bunch of wankers to lift though I guess.

Saucisson2016 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:59:46

God knows how long he was mauling with it before he tapped me on the shoulder... surely all kids these days have seen it all?? Anyway he had been allowed an hour on PS4 which is an unusual occurrence on a school night and DH and I have had a Pinot Grigio and a Chardonnay... don't know who's more in shock!!

SemiNormal Wed 23-Nov-16 23:10:27

Stressful day, this thread has cheered me right up!

I went on holiday once when I was about 17yrs old. My mum went into my bedroom to tidy whilst I was gone. I'd left my vibrator under the duvet (obviously not knowing she would be going in there). When I arrived home the bedroom was spotless and there on my bedside table, stood upright, was my vibrator. Neither of us mentioned it, ever. blush

Bushybrenda1 Wed 23-Nov-16 23:19:08

Ahaha your poor kid. He will be scarred for life now grin

I found my mums when I was a teenager. It even had a name, Big Ben ahaha

Beeziekn33ze Wed 23-Nov-16 23:24:24

Still laughing about Mr Shakey who lives in the wash basket. Will the book and animation be out for Christmas?!

sanityisamyth Wed 23-Nov-16 23:44:55

I had a surveyor come to see the house before I sold it. I thought I'd tidied up upstairs.

The surveyor arrived, did his look around the house (including my bedroom) and left.

It was only when I back upstairs I realised I'd left my rabbit on the bedside table blushblushblush

SilentBiscuits Wed 23-Nov-16 23:50:03

This is definitely ending up in the Daily Mail!

My friend (honest!) left her vibrator on the floor. She forgot her cleaner was coming round that day.

I said "did she put it in the bedside drawer?"

And she told me no - she'd put it back in its special box, at the back of the wardrobe...

Cleaners know EVERYTHING.

Allout Wed 23-Nov-16 23:53:51

This is about the 5th thread of this exact subject I've read since being on mumsnet . It appears to be a common occurance. It's always a rampant rabbit as well hmm

You seem to be getting off quite lightly. Last poster who posted this got flamed for being disgusting and leaving it out etc etc.

Funny old place this is.

GrabtharsHammer Wed 23-Nov-16 23:59:42

Mine switched itself on in the suitcase en route to a dirty weekend with Dh (lovely boy Friday as he was then). We were in the queue for check in and neither of us noticed until a very well to do lady tapped me on the shoulder and said 'your luggage is vibrating, dear'.

GrabtharsHammer Thu 24-Nov-16 00:00:12

Boyfriend not boy Friday! That conjures up a whole different thing!

rococo80 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:20:25

I found lube in my teenage sons drawer - knicked out of my bedside cupboard ( shocked face) how do you moan about that one?

Idratherbeaunicorn Thu 24-Nov-16 04:06:14

I'm a fully functioning adult (28 yo, mortgage, job, married and expecting) - stayed at my mums this weekend. Because I'm 35 weeks pregnant she let me stay in her room so I was more comfortable - styod as proud as punch on the bedside shelf was some boxes of condoms, lube and an Ann Summers bag.... Didn't look in the bag... Suppose I should be grateful she's practicing safe sex, even at 60!

Klaptout Thu 24-Nov-16 05:27:50

Oh no!
Do you think he brought your story are were you let down by your blushes?

My DDs special needs school had a whole school assembly for a visit with a community policeman.
PC stood at the front and held aloft some handcuffs, "anyone know what these are?"
DD was the first to keenly answer, " they're braclets my mums got lots of them in her bedroom drawer, it's a special drawer, mum says children aren't allowed in there"
I do have a jewellery drawer but I had never owned any handcuffs.
Teacher and DD didn't mention the handcuff incident, until.....
Presentation evening, DD got her achievement year book, a book full of photos, a lovely one of DD standing with the policeman whilst holding the handcuffs!
They were all giggling at me in the governors meeting, I had a lot of teasing.
My mate thought it would be a hoot to send me a birthday gift my mail, my DD opened the present, pink fluffy handcuffs, she popped them in her bag for show and tell, I used major distraction (chocolate buttons) and rescued them.

When in Lanzorote we went in a shop that sold some odd things crutchless knickers and a basque adorned a mannequin, I enticed him away to look at some skull wristbands, whilst congratulating my rapid thinking, he marches up to join me and DDs at the till, promptly puts the two wristbands on the counter, then stands this huge wooden hand carved penis on the counter and asked if he could buy it to use to keep his wristbands tidy.
I only go out with them in heavy disguise.

Was I little worried about our trip to Amsterdam but did manage to avoid the sex shop etc

saltandvinegarcrisps1 Thu 24-Nov-16 09:56:24

Took ds to the bathroom with me when he was about 4 and when we came out (at a family meal in swanky restaurant) he announced to everyone " my mummy's got blue string hanging out her bum" (lilets) blush

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff Thu 24-Nov-16 10:17:28

My dd1 then aged 4/5 went to school jabbering about her pretty bracelet, when I went to collect her after school the lovely giggling teacher commented that I may want to find a new hiding place for vibrating cock ring bracelets confused However at least 2 mums asked where I got them as their dad's came home asking for vibrating brackets I muttered gift from abroad and ran blush

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff Thu 24-Nov-16 10:18:21

*dd's -not dads !

Saucisson2016 Thu 24-Nov-16 10:34:59

Glad to hear I'm not the only one grin
Had a few wine last night, for the shock

Tomorrowillbeachicken Thu 24-Nov-16 10:39:55

My cousin once stuck my aunts tampons up his nose thinking they were used to stop nosebleeds.
He also blew up condoms thinking they were balloons.

ShotsFired Thu 24-Nov-16 10:56:52

Saucisson2016 Gutted envy me and DH had a spare half hour earlier baby was asleep had a spot of afternoon delight with toys included and left it in there after the wash down...

So you don't have a penis beaker (and accoutrements) on the bedside table then?

Fadingmemory Thu 24-Nov-16 11:05:54

DS (in long queue for the loo in a department store just before Christmas) was looking at the Tampax machine and and said in a clear, piping voice, 'Look Mummy, those things like the ones you put in your bottom.' Had no idea he had ever observed the process.

SteppingOnToes Thu 24-Nov-16 11:23:12

My exMIL had a habit of rooting in drawers (even went to the point of rearranging my underwear drawer) - I bought the biggest double ended dildo and left it on top in my knicker drawer. She will never look at her son the same again - nosy bitch!

SirSidneyRuffDiamond Thu 24-Nov-16 11:47:13

I had a hen party at my house once and afterwards a porn DVD was left behind. I pushed it under the TV cabinet and forgot about it. A few months later we moved house and had the professional packers and unpackers in. Once in our new home we decided to rearrange some furniture, only to discover the said DVD still underneath the cabinet. Which means the packers found it, packed it, unpacked it and replaced it at the new house. I wasn't sure whether to applaud their professionalism or curl up embarrassment.

AdoraBell Thu 24-Nov-16 12:08:28

Mr Shakey shock

I can't get passed that one grin

TheNewWife Thu 24-Nov-16 12:33:54

SirSidneyRuffDiamond

Oh that is bloody hilarious! I'm in the middle of a very long and slow queue and I just erupted at your post. I can sense folk behind me surreptitiously trying to sneak a peek over my shoulder to see what I'm reading!

Mynestisfullofempty Thu 24-Nov-16 13:09:31

SirSidneyRuffDiamond I had no idea that people watch porn at hen parties!

Niggit Thu 24-Nov-16 13:59:37

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHd-0Xr1Nbw

susiella Thu 24-Nov-16 14:01:28

I'm intrigued by Boogers traumatic time in Hillsborough with Chris's kinky penis. Is that in Hillsborough, Sheffield? Just wondering if I know him........

SirSidneyRuffDiamond Thu 24-Nov-16 14:57:16

The porn DVD was part of a joke present that the bride-to-be accidentally left behind. It was lesbian porn - not sure if that makes it better or worse TBH.

SirSidneyRuffDiamond Thu 24-Nov-16 14:58:03

Meant to say that it didn't get watched at the party. Honest smile

WankingMonkey Thu 24-Nov-16 16:07:03

I found my mums around that age...despite many attempts I have still not managed to forget it.

PrivatePike Thu 24-Nov-16 16:28:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

0urKid Thu 24-Nov-16 16:38:16

I won a toy from LoveHoney years ago. I opened it but never used it (trouble with a specific type of battery I think). I hid it in the inside pocket of a suit jacket dh hadn't worn in years as my kids were rooters. I noticed one day the suit had gone. He'd dropped it off to be dry cleaned and his brother was picking it up to wear to a wedding. I didn't tell him, he hasn't asked, nothing was mentioned and no one has said anything but I know that they know...

Fulltimemummy85 Thu 24-Nov-16 16:39:17

My dd 3 popped on a pair of my dirty pants and pulled them right up to her tummy so I didn't notice. After nursery the teacher handed me a plastic bag with said dirty pants blush

AntiqueSinger Thu 24-Nov-16 16:45:43

I hope this isn't another child discovering sexual faux pas thread that is picked up by the dailyfail/heil.

Potatoooooo Thu 24-Nov-16 16:55:28

People have got some strange storage places for their dildos.
Bedside table seems to be a common one.

Witchend Thu 24-Nov-16 16:59:28

I think the worst embarrassing parent one I've heard was someone who in about year 9/10 was watching a sex ed film which included real footage of a birth in all it's glory below the waist. Then it panned upwards and he realised it was his parents giving birth to him. blush

Probably apocryphal but I can't think of much worse than that.

PinkyPie80 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:43:58

My worst was when we used to have a huge black bondage whip and we used to keep it hanging off the clothes horse in the bedroom as a joke to give each other a whip as we were getting dressed. When we moved house my dad, mum, uncle, my DH's best friend and 2 blokes that we casually knew helped and it wasn't until the clothes horse was stood in our living room we all realised what was hanging off it. My dads face was an absolute picture grin

icepop9000 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:48:55

One was in a donation at the charity shop I work in. The manager was sure it was in there by mistake....I mean not something you would want second hand(pardon the pun)

SoupDragon Thu 24-Nov-16 17:49:26

My most embarrassing parenting moment was when DS1 pulled my copy of the Daily Mail out of my bag and waved it about at the school gates. I don't think that can be beaten really.

IveAlreadyPaid Thu 24-Nov-16 18:17:16

My kids haven't found mine as such but when ds was looking for batteries and I said we had none...

Next time I went to use my vibrator... No batteries in it blush

Whingewine Thu 24-Nov-16 19:53:29

I can remember as a teem a friend showing us her mother's and declaring she used it as well.... Yeah never went around her house again 😷

DeathByMascara Thu 24-Nov-16 20:14:41

Why would a bedside table be a weird place to keep your toys?? Surely better than the kitchen drawers or bathroom cabinet?? And for curiosity'/ sake, where do you keep yours?

Saucisson2016 Thu 24-Nov-16 23:33:31

I have no idea about all this Daily Mail chatter I don't read it. We have decided to also go with the inside pocket of an old suit jacket... I expect next time one of us tries to lift it up we will end up with dislocated shoulder (it's quite heavy now blush) ... bedside table too predictable.. the bondage whip post made me laugh so much!! grin anyway he seems to have forgotten and / or decided not to mention it again thank goodness... and yes I did drink lots of wine to get over it, rather that than spend precious seconds commenting on a thread that I purport to 'hate'

blueamberuk Fri 25-Nov-16 00:06:18

I think the moment I created for my mum and dad was a classic. Woke up in the night when about 5 and wandered into their bedroom and caught them well and truly at it. I shouted "Daddy why are you squashing Mummy" and he said "its all right we are just playing trampolines". The next day I announced at the door to the Milkman "Do you play trampolines and press up and down on the bed like my daddy does with mummy" ... red faces must have prevailed.

Jizzonmyface Fri 25-Nov-16 07:15:27

My mum found mine when she was putting some clothes away for me! She didn't know what it was, shouts of me and says 'your dn left his action man you should led sil know' I said 'that's one thing you could call it, it's mine' at which point she's waving it around, pressing buttons, until 'ohhhhhhhh' the penny drops, the look on her face was priceless and she dropped it like hot coal. Few minutes of silence passed then 'it's very big...how?' At which point I can't contain the laughter anymore!

arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens Fri 25-Nov-16 13:21:46

Luckily DD (teen) hasn't found mine but she did catch us at it a year or so back. She'd gone out so we decided to take advantage of this. Unfortunately iit HAD to be the time she remembered her keys. Let herself in, unheard by us. Hears a noise from upstairs so wanders up, straight into our room asking if I need my painkillers. Luckily hubby heard her as she got to the door and yanked up the quilt. Red faces all round .......

FameNameGameLame Fri 25-Nov-16 17:59:08

You seem to be getting off quite lightly. Last poster who posted this got flamed for being disgusting and leaving it out etc etc.

Funny old place this is.

Agreed.

I also agree this is going in the fail because op is probably the journalist so just to balance it out maybe y'all take a moment and think of the AIBU is op was saying dc found terrible dh's porn stash, boohoo!

Bunch of hypocrites!

zofranks Fri 25-Nov-16 17:59:20

My friends son found hers when he was 5 and then proceeded to tell his teacher that his mum had a 'bed bat' in case someone broke into the house!!! She was mortified especially as he was going to a church school grin

timelytess Fri 25-Nov-16 18:05:58

it's certainly up there
grin

TupsNSups Fri 25-Nov-16 18:08:17

Well it looks likt THE SUN got in before the fail this time.

MopedManiac Fri 25-Nov-16 18:38:34

Thinking I might retrain to be a journalist. Easy money - trawl the Internet and editorialise forums!
Pathetic!

In other news - could barely breath for laughing silently on the train!

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