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some people should not be allowed tiled floors!

(45 Posts)
bigmouthstrikesagain Wed 23-Nov-16 17:16:24

For example, me.

I have just knocked the eleventy-hundred glass jar onto the floor watching it smash on the cold hard tiles of my kitchen.

So fed up with breaking shit. I am clumsy (dyspraxic) and I should not be allowed near hard floors. Or glass. I don't enjoy going round the floor on my hands and knees feeling for the last sliver of glass so it doesn't end up on my feet or worse my children's feet. I hate feeling so klutzy.


bigmouthstrikesagain Wed 23-Nov-16 17:18:27

Should add the breakages have all been completely accidentally done! The floor looks nice it just has no give, I have been here a decade so that is alot of broken glass.

KarmaNoMore Wed 23-Nov-16 17:22:05

I hate tiles, because they are cold, hard and make my back hurt. They are covered with a lovely padded linoleum that comes in a roll and looks like laminate, which I know is not at the height of style but it was a cheap easy to lay solution (I'm still saving to re cover them with a proper wooden floor)

CigarsofthePharoahs Wed 23-Nov-16 17:24:59

I have a tiled floor in my kitchen diner.
It broke my cake stand and several mugs.
We have some lovely cut glass champagne flutes that I'm simply to paranoid to use.

FlyingElbows Wed 23-Nov-16 17:27:14

I had a beautiful tiled kitchen floor in my old house. It murdered everything!

TheSpottedZebra Wed 23-Nov-16 17:28:46

See also: pretty ceramic sink. Too smashy.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Wed 23-Nov-16 17:28:48

I once dropped a glass bottle of olive oil on my tiled floor.

Oh, the mess!!!

Whitelisbon Wed 23-Nov-16 17:31:07

We've got a tiled floor in the kitchen too. It's murdered I don't know how much stuff, including the kids plastic stuff. Bastard cold, hard piece of shit.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 23-Nov-16 17:31:25

I'm amazed every time my Dad leaves my house that I have a glass left. He could fall over in an empty room. We should all have that black matting they use in playgrounds.

bigmouthstrikesagain Wed 23-Nov-16 17:41:03

Oh I have a ceramic butler sink as well fucking hate it I am too tall and it gives me back ache washing up when I am not smashing or cracking glasses in it.

Needless to say I did not choose this kitchen. It was the previous owner. I also hate the high maintenance wood work tops and the cupboard doors that have fussy details and impossible to properly clean crevices.

Ahhh I feel better for letting it all out. Thank you all for your indulgence, not making me feel like a massive clumsy dick head. My dad was the same. He would swing us round and bang our heads on door frames and he put holes in our walls with his elbow falling down the stairs and regularly stumbled over on perfectly even surfaces. 'tis a family curse!

InTheDessert Wed 23-Nov-16 17:46:37

We live somewhere hot. The whole fcuking house is tiled. Kitchen, living/dining room, hall, bedrooms, bathroom. I regularly have smashing days.....

rewardformissingmojo Wed 23-Nov-16 17:48:13

Yes! wish I had chosen lino instead

c3pu Wed 23-Nov-16 17:51:07

Consider some kind of (washable?) rug(s) for the more likely dropping areas?

I'm busy doing DIY kitchen/bathroom renovations in my house, and I went for tiles purely because i can lay them myself and make a reasonable job of it LOL.

My kitchen has been done for about 10 months, only broken one glass so far grin

bigmouthstrikesagain Wed 23-Nov-16 17:52:50

I have smashed a few bottles of olive oil in my time. Also ceramic dishes full of just cooked food. It is a painful reminder of my flaws and I keep hoping I can be more careful and just stop breaking shit.

grannycake Wed 23-Nov-16 17:58:43

We have a tiled kitchen floor and I do break things. Best tip I have is after you have swept the larger pieces of glass use a thick slice of bread and press over floor to catch the small slivers that you inevitably miss

ForFiveMinutes Wed 23-Nov-16 18:21:10

You also forgot the nasty high pitched scrapping when you move your dining chairs and the clickety clack of high heels at some ungodly hour. In hindsight I think a lovely quilted fake tiles style Lino would have been sooooo much nicer

Tiggles Wed 23-Nov-16 18:26:55

We have tiles. I dropped a marmite jar. It broke the tiles grin

AngelBlue12 Wed 23-Nov-16 18:34:22

We have Lino and have still managed to break half the kitchen - last night the cats broke 4 plates and a pyrex dish.

The uoside I can see to tiles is at least the broken shards don;t dig into and cause the floor to rip as it does with lino.

winterisnigh Wed 23-Nov-16 18:36:39

this thread is making me appreciate my horrid lino kitchen floor grin

bigmouthstrikesagain Wed 23-Nov-16 18:49:32

Helping dd with maths homework now, maybe I can get her to work out the area of tiled floor in our house and how much bouncy lino we would need to cover utgrin

NicknameUsed Wed 23-Nov-16 18:49:38

We had a quarry tiled kitchen floor in our last house. Just before DD became mobile we had it covered with cushion floor. It was the best decision for us.

We didn't have the surface screed though in case any subsequent house-owners wanted to go back to the original floor.

NicknameUsed Wed 23-Nov-16 18:50:02

I forgot to add that you could run a vacuum cleaner to pick up any residual shards of glass.

Claireshh Wed 23-Nov-16 18:52:22

It's funny isn't it. My kitchen is very dated - think linoleum floor and Formica worktops. The Formica is indestructible. I can chop on it and put roasting hot dishes on top off it. The lino is sift underfoot and mega easy to clean. We are planning our new kitchen and all of the flooring and worktop options are not as hardwearing or easy to clean!

Mypurplecaravan Wed 23-Nov-16 18:57:06

Just once king Joffrey? Ah you summer child you. Multiple bottles. Multiple plates.

We get milk in glass jars. I don't know why we bother. The milkman rarely gets a full set back each week.

Only positive is my son seems to have been spared my clumsy ways (a clumsy girl is bad enough at school. Clumsy boys seem to have it worse)

I wish I could blame alcohol... but nope. Rarely drink.

Bread does help. As does a hoover when dry. Children banned from kitchen. Pets kept out as much as possible. I still find shards get everywhere

BadKnee Wed 23-Nov-16 18:57:55

I got rid of my beautiful tiles for those reasons. Also they were so hard on my feet - especially in the winter. I loved them but so many things just got smashed to bits. When DD was little if she spilled something and then ran - she slipped and it hurt when she fell.

I now have wood.

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