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To expect not to be mansplained to about everything!

(32 Posts)
BasinHaircut Wed 23-Nov-16 15:28:43

Why do people assume that if you don't talk about something all of the bloody live long day, then you must have absolutely no idea about it?

It's just so bloody arrogant, annoying and boring!

In order to make it stop, I find myself having to more or less be rude by cutting them off and letting them know that I already know that!

For context, I've basically just had exercise explained to me. I used to compete nationally in a competitive sport, I have always exercised regularly and I like to try new things and am reasonably fit (am currently training for a marathon, which is a new challenge for me), but because I don't harp on in the office about what time I get up so I can do a 6am spin class, clearly I need to have the benefits of exercise explained to me!

BadKnee Wed 23-Nov-16 15:52:03

I'm a mansplainer - (although I am a woman!) - ex teacher - it just comes naturally if I think people don't know. Sorry!

Hastalapasta Wed 23-Nov-16 15:54:33

Come on love, just because you are an ex athlete and marathon runner extraordinaire dosent mean that you know about exercise.... grin

Amandahugandkisses Wed 23-Nov-16 16:01:34

Grrr a friend's husband does this. He talks louder and louder until I literally have to stop inputting. It's awful and I'm not spending time with them again.

BasinHaircut Thu 24-Nov-16 14:56:33

Fucking hell. Second day on the trot being mansplained to - by a different man - this time about Government conspiracies.

eddielizzard Thu 24-Nov-16 14:59:18

move to sweden. they have a mansplaining complaints hotline.

although it's not going too well for them...

Theoretician Thu 24-Nov-16 15:09:00

I find myself having to more or less be rude by cutting them off and letting them know that I already know that!

Until you've told them what you know, it's not their fault they don't know what you know. I think you need to get better at interrupting their flow.

CockacidalManiac Thu 24-Nov-16 15:10:59

Loved this one; bloke manspains to female astronaut. What a pillock.

Theoretician Thu 24-Nov-16 15:12:50

Though obviously conspiracy nuts shouldn't be engaged with. I think I'd just look away and start typing on my computer and hope they'd eventually notice that I wasn't interested.

Theoretician Thu 24-Nov-16 15:13:56

That independent link is hilarious.

Men have been calling a dedicated mansplaining hotline to ask for tips on how not to be sexist – as well as to mansplain to call-handlers why the scheme is a bad idea.

Questionsaboutthings Thu 24-Nov-16 15:14:51

Why is it called mansplaining though? Is it really a sexist thing? It seems more like a being slightly self-important and oblivious thing. It could be a man or woman doing that surely? It reminds me of my four year old saying he's an 'expert' at something and explaining volcanoes to me. In his case it's endearing but I'm not inclined to take it much more seriously from anyone else either.

CockacidalManiac Thu 24-Nov-16 15:15:01

You need one of these
>runs away<

Questionsaboutthings Thu 24-Nov-16 15:16:19

Not that I'm a volcanologist myself or anything. He actually possibly does know more than me about them grin.

daisychain01 Thu 24-Nov-16 15:19:11

Why don't you just calmly mention you've done plenty of running/competitions/conspiracy theory research before and then join in with the discussion rather than getting the ump.

I agree it can be frustrating when people can't read your mind and haven't had time to research your background and life history. So you have to find a workaround to help them out.

Questionsaboutthings Thu 24-Nov-16 15:22:27

Agree daisychain

BasinHaircut Thu 24-Nov-16 15:42:09

It's more that it doesn't happen when they are talking to other male team members daisy, it's that anything you say is jumped on and it's explained to you as if you are wrong, because they OBVIOUSLY know more about EVERYTHING than you do.

Nothing to do with assuming people can read my mind at all. They may well be more informed about something than me, I don't know, it's the tone that assumes that I know nothing that pisses me off.

He has emailed me a link from a newspaper article as proof now.

chickenowner Thu 24-Nov-16 15:47:32

I once had a man explain to me what Economic History is. I was studying for an MA in the subject, and had just told him that. He was studying English Lit.

I wish now that I'd told him to f* off, but I was younger and more timid at the time...

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Thu 24-Nov-16 15:49:38

YABU. You were obviously doing girl sport not real sport. Of course he would have to explain these things to you, as a woman you couldn't possibly comprehend it without help.

wasonthelist Thu 24-Nov-16 15:53:33

I have worked with some fucking awful mansplainers (and a few women). The one who took the biscuit was my English male colleague explaining the US political system to my American colleague.

scaryclown Thu 24-Nov-16 15:58:51

I normally cope with this by assuming they are just making sense of it themselves or are trying to just share in an odd way, but there us someone I know who womansplains on topics of 'spirituality' and 'the universe' and starts using really basic sentences to do so.. it is surprisingly hard to stop.. as she is convinced noone ever watches youtube or jas heard the term 'mindfulness' before. I was brought up a chrustian, dated a theologist, practice yoga and meditate on chakras.. I dont think any of it is 'fact' fact...but its interesting...amd sometimes useful... but i dont want to crush her with 'a fucking know..heres how' but gemtle 'stfu' hints or going 'anyway' just gets the 'in the east they have a different culture that wasnt western' and 'the body and mind can be thought of seperately' its very difficult to maintain patience. I do find acting back as ypu would if a child explains 'really haha..^where did ypu learn that^ amd 'i like the internet too' is great.

i resist 'bad vicar' tirades...a la David Mitchell...

InsultingTheAlligator Thu 24-Nov-16 15:59:55

I once used a Russian word that had no direct english translation and was in common use in my workplace when speaking to a very junior colleague about a project I was running in Siberia. He corrected my pronunciation and laughed at me and said; You sound a bit stupid when you say it like that'.

In my former life, I used to work as a Russian-English translator for the Goverment.

He got his arse handed back to him many times over.

InsultingTheAlligator Thu 24-Nov-16 16:02:23

It was very satisfying. I am very quietly spoken IRL, and people are usually shocked when I really lose my temper.

cheminotte Thu 24-Nov-16 16:09:54

I think women are socialised to be more hesitant so will say 'I think that...' 'I believe that' 'I could be wrong, but' even in areas where they are experts, whereas men see those sort of expressions as a sign of weakness and are always certain about everything!
DP has a tendency to explain a certain industry to me even though I worked in that industry for several years and he never has!

Bestthingever Thu 24-Nov-16 16:11:57

A colleague at work explained what 'equivalent' meant to me yesterday. I was lost for words!

confuugled1 Thu 24-Nov-16 16:14:45

Can you reply with a 'oh glad to see you've found yourself a nice simple article about it. If you want to find out more, I found the xxx article was great for providing a lot more of the useful detail I needed when I was competing although you might find it's a bit beyond what you need for just doing [whatever he does].' Or 'Oh yes, I remember our national coach saying they'd done a basic info article in the papers back when I was competing - they said it was great for those that had trouble understanding. I'd have forwarded it to you then if I'd realised that you were interested in exercise!'

And then take bets on whether he backs down gracefully or tries to up the ante and mansplain some more...

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