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(23 Posts)
autumnglow Wed 23-Nov-16 07:00:59

Family coming to stay this weekend with their 2small dogs. Last time they had a crate to sleep in when they were puppies, mainly because I have a cat as well as a dog and they aren't used to cats. I offered to get the crate out again but she said oh no they can just sleep in our room. I said I wasn't happy with dogs upstairs ( I made an exception when their old dog was on his last legs) but she said either that or she'd have to sleep downstairs or my house may get wrecked. I went back and text and said DH and I would prefer if dogs didn't sleep upstairs but as a compromise I'd put my dog and cat in the utility room so cAt can still get outside, or her dogs could sleep in hall or in a crate. She's obv not happy and now may only stay for day. AIBU?

coffeetasteslikeshit Wed 23-Nov-16 07:06:57

YANBU. I say that as someone who let's her dogs sleep on the bed. But that's my choice in my home, I would never in a million years expect them to sleep on the bed at someone else's house.

No, YANBU it is your house, your rules. I had to abide by my mum's rules when we took our old dog at Xmas. Lots of people who are not around dogs who may shed their coats can take bad, especially if they have allergies. My dog didn't but still he didn't get on the couch at my mum's, we had to keep him off. I think you offered a great compromise to try and compromise, you seem to be trying your best.

Mumteedum Wed 23-Nov-16 07:08:59

No you're not. She could kennel them. Or else she has to be considerate. I have never taken my dog upstairs in anyone else's house.

DementedUnicorn Wed 23-Nov-16 07:09:53

I think this is the only dog thread I have ever answered YANBU grin

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Wed 23-Nov-16 07:12:00

Perfectly reasonable. You have offered solutions, not just raised a problem. If they don't like it, tough.

FrancisCrawford Wed 23-Nov-16 07:13:50

You are very reasonable.
(Dog owner)

MaitlandGirl Wed 23-Nov-16 07:14:56

Your house your rules - we've got dogs and they sleep anywhere they're allowed when we go visiting. If the hostess says laundry only, then that's where they sleep.

I figure it's annoying enough taking my dogs with me (small breed) so I graciously accept any rules the homeowner puts in place for them.

PeachBellini123 Wed 23-Nov-16 07:18:13

YNBU. I love dogs and we often dog-sit for friends and family but we have a no dogs upstairs rule - and a baby gate to enforce it!

Would it be better to speak to her over the phone though? Texting back and forth won't do much good.

pklme Wed 23-Nov-16 07:18:46

What about a crate upstairs in her room? If her dogs are usually in their room at night, they could be quite scared on their own. My mum was very disapproving of me letting the old dog sleep in his bed in my room, but he would eat through door frames trying to get out if we shut him away. Current dog is crated at night, but might bark all night if somewhere new. As he gets car sick he has never slept away from home, but he can get barky at night at home too.

Your house, your rules, absolutely. Just be aware she might want to do it because she spoils her dogs rotten, but it maybe because bitter experience has taught her it's the safest way.

autumnglow Wed 23-Nov-16 07:27:51

We did talk earlier in the evening, she's quite a force and you find yourself agreeing to things you didn't want ( I won't go into detail) she refused point blank a crate. As it was late when DH came home I just text not phoned.. she does have a way of always putting herself in the right though, however I'm standing firm on this. When the puppies were little we made it clear they weren't allowed upstairs to sleep and nothing has changed. Trouble is she's always treated her dogs as humans so it may me a tricky one

Trifleorbust Wed 23-Nov-16 07:30:31

YANBU. If she wants to be stubborn about the crate tell her that's up to her but you would prefer to schedule her visit for a time when she can find a place in kennels. Dogs do not sleep upstairs in your house. And repeat.

autumnglow Wed 23-Nov-16 17:28:29

She's not bringing the dogs at all but only coming for brunch on Sunday and staying 3 hrs (6hrs round trip). Said it didn't occur to her I wouldn't let her but she couldn't poss put her dogs through the stress of the cat and my dog- who are very calm I might add. Oh well I dont suppose those dogs will visit again problem solved.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Wed 23-Nov-16 17:30:43

Your house 'may get wrecked'?

Uninvite! Uninvite!!

7SunshineSeven7 Wed 23-Nov-16 17:35:48

Joffrey I was just thinking the same thing! I wouldn't want any dogs visiting if there was a change of them wrecking the house at all!

Can we get DillyDingDillyDong to weigh-in here please? grin

7SunshineSeven7 Wed 23-Nov-16 17:36:27


WannaBe Wed 23-Nov-16 17:36:52

I don't allow dogs upstairs in my house and mine are guide dogs.

Have no issue with people bringing their dogs here - even pet dogs, but they do so knowing that it's my house my rules. My only exception is friend's GSD cross who is very attached and doesn't always like to be separated from him, but friend sticks with my rules anyway and just says the dog has to learn.

Cubtrouble Wed 23-Nov-16 17:47:40

Except for all you lovely people this is exactly why I hate dog owners! The entitled mentality.

Friends brought a dog to stay at mine without asking. It jumped all over my new sofa. Never again

myfavouritecolourispurple Wed 23-Nov-16 17:58:38

I think you are being very kind to accommodate her dogs at all!


She is B very U.

Candlelight123 Wed 23-Nov-16 18:52:12

Think you've dodged a bullet there! The 'wrecking the house' would have done it for me.

IAmNotAMindReader Wed 23-Nov-16 19:05:47

I'd text back that in light of the current destructive phase they are in you feel she couldn't guarantee they wouldn't damage something while she was asleep, no matter where in the house they were and perhaps it's best if she found someone to look after them this time. Of course, they would be welcome to stay (downstairs) at another time, once they have grown out of it and are a bit more reliable.

AddToBasket Wed 23-Nov-16 19:18:03

Too much engagement! Tell her what suits you - then stop talking. grin she can do what she wants within what suits you in your own home.

I'm not a big fan of 'rules'. That said, anyone who has dogs that wreck the house should be thinking hard about whether they should take them anywhere at all.

Ananke Wed 23-Nov-16 19:24:38

We had touched on the subject of taking our dog with us next time we go visit DH's daughter for more than just a weekend She seemed fine about it but I later found out through other family members that her DH doesn't want a dog in the house and that is absolutely his right in his own house and I wouldn't dream of asking.
You have been very accommodating and she should be pleased that you are happy to have her dogs when you already have pets. She could always get a dog sitter.

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