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AIBU to send DS in Non-uniform?

(117 Posts)
ABitCrapReally Tue 22-Nov-16 18:26:46

DS has started reception this year. He loves school and so far I've been equally happy with the way things are done.
He's an average student (I believe), he's never going to be top of the class, but that's fine with me.
The children are awarded 'house points' for academic or sporting achievements etc.
Yesterday's parent mail says children who have 25 or more house points may wear non-uniform on the last day of term before Christmas 'as a treat'.
I'm really, really pissed off with this idea. DS may or may not reach the 25 house points, but if he doesn't would I be unreasonable to send him in non-uniform anyway?
He already is aware that he has less points than others and it does upset him a bit (but I tell him that's life and you can't always be the best/top)
I just think making it so obvious who the 'achievers' are is just rubbing it in to be honest.

BratFarrarsPony Tue 22-Nov-16 18:28:23

well, it is a bit crap really...but i think you have to go along with what the school has decreed, as your son is only in reception, and it is a bit early to be sticking your head over the parapet, as it were.

MaddyHatter Tue 22-Nov-16 18:28:54

yes you would be. If you don't like it, either challenge it beforehand, or move schools.

Wheredidallthejaffacakesgo Tue 22-Nov-16 18:29:50

Yabu - you can't win everything. It's an odd system from the school but it's a bit entitled to try to subvert it.

Trifleorbust Tue 22-Nov-16 18:30:11

Of course you're being unreasonable. It's not fair on the kids who have achieved lots of points for their (fairly crappy) prize to be shared by kids who haven't.

paxillin Tue 22-Nov-16 18:30:29

I'd ask school why they want to turn the school uniform into a dunce cap.

ABitCrapReally Tue 22-Nov-16 18:31:26

Move schools for a non uniform day? Bit OTT.
Will challenge it, definitely. DH said ring in sick, but I don't like that idea either.
Last day of term is always fun and I don't want him to miss out, and ruins his attendance record over something trivial

Blossomdeary Tue 22-Nov-16 18:31:55

I always think that non-uniform as a reward or prize is interesting - does this mean that the school know the uniform is crap?

Tardigrade001 Tue 22-Nov-16 18:33:32

Academic or sporting achievements in reception? Ridiculous.
Of course you can send him in non-uniform.

notmaryberry Tue 22-Nov-16 18:34:29

Surely they get house points for effort, progress, kindness, helpfulness etc and not just on getting good grades?

Sybys Tue 22-Nov-16 18:35:47

I agree it seems a bit much to do that for reception-age children and think its fair to challenge it. A bit cruel to highlight 'under-achievment' so visibly at that age.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Tue 22-Nov-16 18:36:22

They should be giving them out for other things too, like being helpful, asking a child whose friend is off to join in with their game, tidying up extra well etc.

ABitCrapReally Tue 22-Nov-16 18:37:29

I don't want to deprive other children of their achievements either. Good for them if they are clever or sporting rather than just OK.
I wouldn't mind a little certificate or extra cupcake (they get cupcakes when they get 25 points anyway)
I just find this really divisive.

40somethingwonderful Tue 22-Nov-16 18:40:42

Agree with Notmaryberry

DailyFaily Tue 22-Nov-16 18:40:45

Are you sure they only get them for academic/sporting achievement? My son has them for stuff like being kind and being resilient, as well as things like doing well in maths. If you have an issue with it then speak with the teacher/the head before the non-uniform day.

GrinchyMcGrincherson Tue 22-Nov-16 18:44:15

Surely they get house points for effort, progress, kindness, helpfulness etc and not just on getting good grades

This. Our school has house points but they also have houses. Points are earns for academic progress, good behaviour, sporting achievements, manners, helpfulness, initiative, effort etc. There are 4 houses and at the end of each half term the one with the most points has a non uniform day. It sounds mad to me but the kids all think it's amazing and it has always been a spread of houses winning, not just the same one all the time (no clue if the teachers fiddle this a bit!) so all the kids do try most of the time.

It also means kids who may be struggling still have a chance to get a reward and help their team, even if it's at a lesser pace. There is no individual tally so all the kids usually cheer if a classmate gets a point for their house as one point benefits about 8 kids.

I would go and ask for clarification of the system before you go off on one.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 22-Nov-16 18:45:02

If they're 'house points' then any reward should go to the whole of the winning house shouldn't it? Thats usually the point of houses, team effort.

RebelRogue Tue 22-Nov-16 18:48:05

Are they individual points op(just your child's effort and behaviour being rewarded) or house points(a bunch of children win as a team)?

NickNacks Tue 22-Nov-16 18:48:19

It's no more unfair than my very academic son whose crap at running having to show everyone his weak link.

NickNacks Tue 22-Nov-16 18:49:01

On sports day in front of the whole school pupils and parents - I should have added.

ABitCrapReally Tue 22-Nov-16 18:51:28

They may well give house points for other things like being kind or helpful etc.
He's not naughty or stupid, he does get house points, but he is sensitive and worry this will knock his confidence.

MiaowTheCat Tue 22-Nov-16 18:51:33

Bloody ridiculous and divisive (and I've got a reception kid who's usually top of the class in terms of house points -because she's a shameless bloody crawler who keeps the bad behaviour for me at home)! I'd be complaining!

If I still taught I'd be doing it as some kind of collective class reward that if we all worked together and filled a jar with kindness tokens or whatever we'd ALL get the reward - not individually like this.

GreenTureen Tue 22-Nov-16 18:51:53

I highly doubt that any reception class would be giving house points only for academic or sporting achievements. If they are, it's a shit school and you have bigger worries than a non uniform day.

They should be giving points for effort, for nice drawings, for being kind and helpful, for learning all of the words to a song and so on. Every reception class i've ever seen operates on that sort of basis anyway.

jelliebelly Tue 22-Nov-16 18:52:43

YABU to consider sending him anyway, school ABU in creating such an obvious divide / probably meant to motivate all to achieve but what's wrong with s certificate and round of applause in assembly!

Trifleorbust Tue 22-Nov-16 18:52:55

Giving cakes or certificates is divisive - some kids get them, some don't. If I were you, I would encourage my son to be proud of his friends and their achievements. I might also ask the school to broaden the range of achievements for which points are given. I wouldn't turn my son into the Dick Turpin of his class, hijacking prizes given to other kids - that sort of thing tends to get them noticed for the wrong reasons!

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