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To expect more help from my teenage DCS

(6 Posts)
fedupslummymummy Tue 22-Nov-16 14:22:40

I am at home unwell. Looking at the monumental tip that is currently my home (as I have been unable do anything constructive apart from puke for the last three days) it has now become apparent that I do EVERYTHING around the house. Not really sure how this has happened tbh. So....what can I reasonably expect two young teenagers to do to help me regarding chores, and how can I get them to do it without resistance???
Just for the record I'm a single parent who works FT so time is precious....

BackforGood Tue 22-Nov-16 23:37:54

Rotas all the way.
Point out to them there are 3 of you living together, and you are all out of the house all day, so you all need to pull your weight in terms of contributing.
List out all the jobs that need doing over the course of a week, say, and the choice is they either pick some they'd like to take responsibility for, or the other choice is you all do all the jobs in turn. Cook one night each.... load / unload the dishwasher if not the cook, clean the bathroom on a rota, take turns to put the bins out, etc.
Mine have always been much more receptive to doing stuff if it's very clear that their siblings are also doing them. It falls apart very quickly if it is perceived one is 'getting away with it'.

ThatGingerOne Tue 22-Nov-16 23:56:31

Give them both a kick up the arse (when you're feeling up to it).

Things they can and should be doing:

-Hoovering (inc stairs and hallways)
-Brushing/mopping tile in kitchen (or any wood floors downstairs/their bedrooms)
-Taking the bin out
-Wiping down all kitchen sides/the hob
-Wiping windowsills
-Rooms kept clean
-Doing their own washing (I have been since about 12 if there wasn't space to bung it in with the rest)
-Rinsing bath after use
-Dishes, one wash and one dry or just alternate nights (this means all dishes, not just their own)

Things you should be okay with:

-Your room/any spare room
-Cleaning the bathroom (e.g toilet, as general maintenance, obviously if something they've done needs cleaning then they need to sort it.)

I have been doing all this kind of stuff since I can remember and it was just expected of me - still is when I get home from uni. I don't understand the thought process some parents have of making their kids contribute to maintaining the household as mean.

If they did all of these things together (obviously most things like mopping, dusting or hoovering may not have to be done every day) it wouldn't even take them an hour. Make a rota if that's easier. While you're sick they should be more willing to be stuck in but even when you're better they should be doing all of this stuff - they're living there as much as you are and this will also prepare them for later life. The amount of people I meet at uni who've never mopped a floor or washed their own clothes before is beyond belief as their parents just did it all for them.

FrancisCrawford Wed 23-Nov-16 00:12:12

It should be easy - and then you find yourself coming home after work, putting the tea on and then asking the teen to lift their feet as you try to hoover. Which they do, oblivious to the fact that the house is in chaos boos watching Kerrang and texting their mates is more important...

Pick the chores carefully. Delegate their bedrooms, because you can shut the door on their mess. Hoovering, dusting, changing the bed become their responsibility.

Next select a daily chore like washing the dishes/doing the dishwasher. And nag until they do it.
Lessregular chores like doing the bins. Keep up with the nagging.
They aren't up for negotiation -they need done and done before they slope to their pit bedroom.

The answer to "why should I?" Is "why shouldn't you?"

Console yourself that you are teaching them useful skill for life.

And keep that bedroom door shut.

Scooby20 Wed 23-Nov-16 06:23:40

Dd is 12. Her jobs are her room, hoovering landing and stairs, skirting boards on stairs, and the ensuite that me and her have as our bathroom. I give the bathroom sink and toilet a quick clean everyday but once a week she does cleans the whole thing.

Ds is five and his jobs are his bedroom, bannisters and skirting boards in the living room. He also helps me sort clothes for was and when they come out of the dryer.

Dh does all the cooking and cleans as he goes. I start work at 12 so make sure kitchen is tidy before I go. I get up early so a load of washing is always done first thing. We seem to keep on top of it. Anything else is done at the weekend. Either me and dh do it or all of us chip in.

Ds loves doing jobs around the house which makes it easier.

Colby43443 Wed 23-Nov-16 09:50:51

By 13-14 they should be able to do everything you can (including cooking). My 13 year old dn makes dinner every other evening, and on the evenings he doesn't is responsible for laundary, it's his chore and tied to pocket money. Perfectly reasonable too considering it's just him and his dad at home.

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