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To think that whether someone wears make up or not shouldn't make a difference?

(52 Posts)
2catsandadog Tue 22-Nov-16 08:53:16

Yesterday, I went to the hospital with my DS. I happened to be dressed smartly and have a full face of make up on. This is relatively unusual as I am a SAHM, and my uniform is jeans, jumpers and boots.

Usually at the hospital I am not listened to, I am talked over, I am patronised. Yesterday, they couldn't have been better. I was taken seriously, the consultant listened to what I said, I was told I had a good knowledge of the condition we were talking about (I did my research, that's why).

I was really pissed off that wearing make up (or maybe looking like I had come from the office) seems to make such a difference. What utter crap.

Bluntness100 Tue 22-Nov-16 08:59:38

Hmmm, could it have been you acted with more confidence as you dressed better and had a face full of slap and people reacted to that confidence?

Seeline Tue 22-Nov-16 09:01:21

I was just going to say the same as Bluntness

As a SAHM I rarely wear make up during the day and live in jeans. I don't find myself being spoken over - but then maybe that's because I'm a stubborn, grumpy cow grin

Batfurger Tue 22-Nov-16 09:06:31

I don't think I'd notice or care what makeup someone had on at a consultation TBH. YABU to attribute someone else's attitude to something that obviously makes you feel different. Perhaps you're projecting so I agree with pps saying it's about you, not about the hospital.

2catsandadog Tue 22-Nov-16 09:08:13

It could be I suppose. I hadn't thought of that.

I do have basement level confidence generally, and I do feel better with my "armour" on... Hmmm.

Thanks for the different perspective.

JunosRevenge Tue 22-Nov-16 09:24:25

I've found that too, OP. These days I always put business dress on - or smart-casual at the very least - for medical/solicitors appointments. I feel that I'm treated with more respect by the doctor/solicitor/receptionist/whatever. I don't know why it should be so - and I hope I don't treat people differently myself as a result of how they are dressed.--
Incidentally I've also been upgraded on flights a couple of times too - my FIL told me to always look smart if I'm travelling alone. It seems to work!

I'm slobbing about in fleecy bottoms and a hoody right now though

TataEs Tue 22-Nov-16 09:31:24

i have never dressed smart for a hospital or doctor appointment. i am a sahm and make up is very dependent on whether i have time rather than where i'm going. im quite happy to go anywhere clean faced. i feel that i am usually listened to and my thoughts are taken on board. i'm pretty sure doctors have bigger issues than whether an ill person has put on make up? maybe i have just been lucky.

definitely second looking smart and alone for upgrades on planes tho!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff Tue 22-Nov-16 09:38:16

I reckon it's 50% confidence and 50% them 'reading' you differently.

I think the way you hold yourself counts for a lot.

But I think it's also true that people interpret someone smartly dressed as 'professional', informed, clued-up. It is similar to how I get treated v differently at the hospital if I use my title of 'Dr', even if I point out I'm just a PhD in a totally useless humanities field grin

I don't think it's just hospitals though: I definitely get different service in shops etc depending on how I look. It's just, sadly, human nature, and docs aren't exempt from it!

PerspicaciaTick Tue 22-Nov-16 09:40:23

I do think that a lot of professional people seemed to assumed I was a bit dim when I was SAHM. I'm not sure if that was the make-up (or lack thereof) or if it was my failure to signal wealth, education and career status.

paxillin Tue 22-Nov-16 09:41:42

I find I'm treated better even on the school run when in work "armour". Suit and briefcase vs chinos and rucksack make a difference. These are people who know what I do, I don't suddenly become more competent or worth listening to in my work gear.

Colby43443 Tue 22-Nov-16 09:42:21

People take you more seriously when you look the part. I have a preppy dress sense and find I can get appointments for family much quicker and easier, and often with the same doctors, than friends who don't make the effort. I get taken more seriously too.

gleam Tue 22-Nov-16 09:44:05

I find if you drop a bit of more complex vocab into the conversation, doctors' attitudes change.

Camomila Tue 22-Nov-16 10:14:46

I never wear make up bar the odd wedding etc. I'm usually in jeans and a jumper too.

People almost always take me seriously though, but that's because I find my 'generic southern' accent turns into RP whenever I have to make an appointment or have a serious conversation.

It's a bit shit/unfair when you think about it though that our clothes/accents etc have such an affect.

Camomila Tue 22-Nov-16 10:15:17

Effect? blush

Sparlklesilverglitter Tue 22-Nov-16 10:18:43

I think because you were dressed smartly you probably acted more confident within yourself and they picked up on that

PurpleMinionMummy Tue 22-Nov-16 10:26:40

I always find it odd they want to know what you do for a living with kids appts. It could be worse op, the last two times I've been to the dr's (admittedly not my own gp) they've drawn me pictures confused.

MauiWest Tue 22-Nov-16 10:33:02

Agree with all the above, it's about your own confidence, not the actual way you dress. I've never noticed any difference in the way I am treated anywhere. I suppose on the rare occasions I wear a mini skirt I get a few random smiles, but professional people I have an appointment with are always professional, regardless of what they think of my outfit, if they even care.

Bountybarsyuk Tue 22-Nov-16 10:37:12

I think it's incredibly naive to think the way you dress and for women wear make-up doesn't impact what others think, of course we respond to social signals. That doesn't mean everyone not wearing make-up is ignored, but if you look polished, wear nice clothes and speak in a direct way with complex vocab you get a hell of a lot more than someone that doesn't.

GreatPointIAgreeWithYouTotally Tue 22-Nov-16 10:47:52

If you are trying to get optimal treatment out of the NHS I find it useful to ask the doctor what they would do if they had your condition or if their child/mother did. It snaps them out out the 'Me doctor-You Patiient' mindset.

MauiWest Tue 22-Nov-16 10:51:06

I think it's incredibly naive

why do you think that? I have not experienced any difference if I am wearing make up or not. Of course, I would be treated differently in a job interview if I was wearing a tracksuit bottom instead of a suit and my hair was a mess, but that's not the point here. You are mixing up 2 things, the way you speak and present yourself has nothing to do with your clothes or make up. Of course the way you ARE makes a different, not the way you DRESS, as long as it is appropriate. I have done important presentations at work without any make up on because I went to the gym at lunch time and couldn't be bothered to tart up, and that has not made any difference whatsoever.

corythatwas Tue 22-Nov-16 10:58:28

I don't wear make-up, but have known a similar situation (hospital with child) change completely from patronising/suspicious to respectful/engaging after I happened to drop into the conversation what I do for a living.

Hastalapasta Tue 22-Nov-16 11:16:35

I don't wear makeup and am a slob dress casually. Last emergency appointment for DD I was asked if I was a registrar! Having some confidence and knowledge goes a long way.

mumonashoestring Tue 22-Nov-16 11:26:03

I'd agree that it's more confidence /knowledge than appearance. When DS was in NICU I was 2 days post-EMCS, in pyjamas, no sleep, no shower that day let alone makeup, but dropping a bit of jargon into the conversation with the Paeds consultant made a massive difference to how much information/detail I got about his condition and treatment.

museumum Tue 22-Nov-16 11:29:36

I don't wear make up. But in my work clothes and in work mode I'm sure that doctors would see me as more "like them" than as a patient and I'd get more in depth explanations of stuff.

corythatwas Tue 22-Nov-16 11:37:00

I think makeup and professional clothing can do exactly the same thing as my casual (and oh yes of course completely accidental) mention of my research. Suddenly I had become "somebody a bit like me" to the consultant, somebody perhaps with a similar background, somebody he could identify with, somebody in whose position he could have found himself.

Clearly some men people find it extremely difficult to identify with a careworn mother from one of the poorer parts of town. A careworn mother from one of the poorer parts of town with a PhD - not that's different. I do not think it was greatly to his credit- but I had to get dd investigated and I was prepared to do whatever that took.

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