I don't know how to articulate this but I will try.
I have two DC and have just found out I am pregnant with a third. It was a contraception failure.
I always wanted four or five kids but after my last one I decided I was finished as they were a very difficult baby, I also suffer horrendous hyperemesis with both.
Pregnancy one I got through because I had noone to look after. Pregnancy two I got through because my first DC was at school all day and also old enough to understand and was content on bad days to just chill with me on the sofa reading books and watching films in between me puking and napping.
I do not know how I will cope this time.
I understand how insensitive this may sound but all I have done since I found out is cry and feel anxious. Every morning I wake up and feel ok for a split second. Then I remember and my heart drops. If I could wake up and this had all been a dream I would do it and probably just feel massive relief.
Dh was over the moon when we found out, and told he's parents etc straight away.
To him it was a no brainier that we have the baby. There is no real reason not to. Enough rooms, financially very comfortable etc
So why has this hit me like a tonne of bricks? I feel like someone has their hand around my throat and is squeezing.
The thought of doing this all again, combined with terrifying birth and then newborn stage combined with a jealous toddler...sorry to sound dramatic but I feel like I've given myself a death sentence and I know that is not normal.
Not keeping the baby is not an option.
Already been to the doctor and booked in etc
We just com out the other side of the hardest year with our youngest and life was looking pretty good, I feel as though I've just gone and fucked it all up.
Has anyone out there had experience of this? It would really help to know I'm not alone and I'm not just an ungrateful monster.
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Someone please help me?
65 replies
IndieBamBindi · 22/11/2016 07:44
OP posts:
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