Advanced search

To ask you to make a big life decision for me

(85 Posts)
ShouldIBuyOrShouldIGo Mon 21-Nov-16 20:50:59

Do I buy a house - or rather do DP and I buy it? We live in a city we love but its far from family. DP lost his job 18months ago and has been looking after the DC, writing a book (has a prestigious academic book contract but no salary or big advance) whilst getting rejected again and again from a variety of institutions. I had to go back fulltime when DS2 was 5months (all a bit sad but necessary and I do like my job).
My parents have v v v generously offered to gift us a deposit of more money than I earn in a year which means I could get a morgage.

We have seen a house.
Small lounge,
old small kitchen,
Outside loo that is now inside thanks to a plastic roofed lean to
weird dining room currently full of fridge, tumble drier, etc that doesn't fit in kitchen.
One bedroom downstairs
2 lovely big bedrooms upstairs
1 odd room you have to walk through to get to the bathroom (which is big but has a big shower rather than bath).
And No central heating!!!
Lots of potential
Nice area, quiet near park and beach

Do we buy? On paper paying off a morgages rather than renting would save us nearly £200 a month. Or am I crazy to move a young family (2 and 8 months) into a house that needs work when DP might get a job anywhere in the country (although it hasn't happened in 18months so not holding my breath).... Oh and DP is lukewarm on the house...
Do we put an offer in?

notgivingin789 Mon 21-Nov-16 20:51:49


Floggingmolly Mon 21-Nov-16 20:52:50

God, yes. Don't even hesitate.

IonaNE Mon 21-Nov-16 20:53:42

I would not. It sounds too much work with young children and one bread-winner.

FlyingElbows Mon 21-Nov-16 20:53:45


Lewwat Mon 21-Nov-16 20:53:45

Find a house you both love. Tbh the one you've seen sounds a nightmare!

sparechange Mon 21-Nov-16 20:54:34

Putting an offer doesn't bind you to buying it. Would a low offer enable you to get some of the work done straight away?

I would put the offer in if I was in your position

greenfolder Mon 21-Nov-16 20:54:49

Surely there is more than 1 house to choose from?

saltededamummy Mon 21-Nov-16 20:54:51

Nope. Don't do it. Not unless you are both totally, 100% committed to all the work, dirt, disruption & not least the financial cost of bringing this house to an appropriate standard for a growing family.
Sorry but this is a dream home for someone else, not you.

YelloDraw Mon 21-Nov-16 20:57:48

No, it sounds like there will be shit loads of issues you'll uncover and won't have the money to fix.

Who the fuck just puts a lean too around the outside toilet and doesn't have CH? Someone who has had no money to spend in house maintenance and who house will be in a a terrible state . That is who.

YelloDraw Mon 21-Nov-16 20:58:34

Buy smaller. Buy in a worse area. Don't buy this unless you have tens of thousands to do the work.

GrabtharsHammer Mon 21-Nov-16 20:59:00

Yes buy a house. But not that one, it sounds terrible.

Bluebeck Mon 21-Nov-16 21:01:24

Buy a different house. Move to a slightly cheaper area or buy a flat. Don't buy the shit house.

JellyMouldJnr Mon 21-Nov-16 21:02:02

No no no. Don't add trying to do up a house on a tight budget while living in it to the stressors in your life at present. Wait until you're out of the toddler stage at least.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 21-Nov-16 21:02:50

Sounds like a nightmare house. I wouldn't.

Our house had no central heating and was only single glazed, the kitchen and bathroom were both shit. It was hell trying to get that all done with small kids - there's always something else you need to pay out for.

If DP might get a job anywhere, wait until you know where you might need to settle. Otherwise you could end up living in a shithole with him renting elsewhere as otherwise you'll lose money selling it and it's not lettable.

ShouldIBuyOrShouldIGo Mon 21-Nov-16 21:03:36

greenfolder we have seen 6 so far bit this is the best by far

I thought more people who tell me yes - is it not all about location location location?

yello what sort of horrors? Are there things that a survey wouldn't throw up? (never done this before!)

Dingarees Mon 21-Nov-16 21:05:25

No brainer buy it.

Herschellmum Mon 21-Nov-16 21:05:28

The issue is you may not get a mortgage for it in that state, otherwise as long as you can reasonably afford the ungrades then go for it!

YellowDinosaur Mon 21-Nov-16 21:06:37

DP is lukewarm on the house

Regardless of anything else for this reason alone you shouldn't buy it.

HazelBite Mon 21-Nov-16 21:11:30

Did this house really grab you ie you feel you HAVE to live there, if not you will never have the stomach for all the work that needs doing and it will cause problems within your family (how is your DH with DIY?)
We bought a two bedroom house (for a family of six) we loved the situation of the house and the kids were happy to sleep in one room and rough it until we could extend it. We all coped because we all loved the house and garden and wanted to live there.

EveOnline2016 Mon 21-Nov-16 21:17:18

Buy a house, but not that one.

Sounds like you haven't got spare thousands to do it up and you will be miserable.

SemiNormal Mon 21-Nov-16 21:18:56

Nope, don't do it! A house is the biggest purchase you'll ever make - never ever buy when one of you only feels 'lukewarm' about it! He could end up resenting you and you will feel awful when it comes to repairing/replacing all the crap that needs doing and your DH and kids are complaining about it.
Ask your parents if they'll put the offer on hold for a while until you find a house that both of you desperately want to move into and grow old in together.

BaronessEllaSaturday Mon 21-Nov-16 21:20:00

Realistically how long will it take you to get the essentials like central heating done. Saving £200 a month on rent is not a lot to cover what will be needed.

KayVerinder Mon 21-Nov-16 21:20:01

I was shaking my head, then I saw the word........ beach.

GrabbyGrabby Mon 21-Nov-16 21:21:52

How long have you been looking. 6 houses isn't very many.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now