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To wonder why we say well done for losing weight

(16 Posts)
Temporaryname137 Mon 21-Nov-16 20:21:56

This is NOT a fat bashing thread: I've been overweight for a long time myself. I was just musing on how bad it is for my health and how whenever I've lost a lot of weight people have said, "well done". When isn't the reality in fact that I should never have gained it in the first place? (I'm not talking about people with health reasons for gaining weight, just people like me who eat too much of the wrong stuff too many times a week!)

It would be U to suggest that people should always point out the first signs of weight gain. And fat shaming might work for a tiny percentage of people, but it's clearly not the answer.

But in light of the issues that being overweight can bring, and the research that suggests once you get fat it's a lot harder to go back and keep it off - is it right to praise people for losing weight they perhaps know they shouldn't have gained in the first place? I have always thought so, but I am sitting here thinking about what might be motivating for society with the ticking time bomb of obesity, and wondering if I would have gained less weight if someone had been more blunt with me when I was 26 and it made me think.

What do you think is the right thing to say?

llangennith Mon 21-Nov-16 20:24:20

I'm fat and I think people congratulate you on losing weight because we all know it's so bloody hard!

FockerFun Mon 21-Nov-16 20:25:34

Because it easily goes on & is bloody difficult to get off!
I had to tell my mum to stop praising me for it in front of my daughter though...

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Mon 21-Nov-16 20:25:52

Losing weight is really hard and doing so is a massive achievement.

We say it to give the person a boost so that they feel it's worth continuing. And because we're impressed/proud of them.

BastardBernie Mon 21-Nov-16 20:26:53

Because it's hard to break a food addiction?

Shurelyshomemistake Mon 21-Nov-16 20:27:47

Because it shows self-awareness, tenacity, bloody mindedness, and really matters to your long-term health. Same as if you give up smoking.

BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington Mon 21-Nov-16 20:29:53

Because it's an achievement.

If I lost 5 stone and someone sniffed and said 'about time you lost that flab' I'd whack them around the face with a fermented kipper.

cardibach Mon 21-Nov-16 20:29:54

If someone is trying to lose weight and does the correct response is, indeed, 'well done' just as it would be if they, say, tried to learn to crochet and succeeded. The fact that they started from a less than desirable place is irrelevant. I'm confused by your confusion on this confused

LemonSqueezy0 Mon 21-Nov-16 20:29:57

I sort of get what you mean but it's two different issues. I agree that we should be more blunt and straight to the point about obesity and have those frank discussions with people.this could avoid people piling on so much weight... But we should also congratulate those who do lose weight because it is bloody hard and it's nice to support those who are going down the road to a healthier, longer life.

PinkiePiesCupcakes Mon 21-Nov-16 20:30:26

If someone has a goal, they work toward it, accomplish it, it warrants a well done or congratulations.
It doesn't matter what that goal is, it doesn't matter if we even share the idea of it being a goal, its something they think important and so they should be congratulated.

So yeah. Someone striving to lose weight should be congratulated, even if they ate 12 BigMacs a day for 10 years prior.

clumsyduck Mon 21-Nov-16 20:32:36

Because it's an achievement that takes hard work and will power same as quitting smoking , training from a non runner to doing a marathon , giving up booze etc

SparkyBlue Mon 21-Nov-16 20:37:20

Because it's not easy. It takes commitment and willpower and often a major lifestyle change. Sometimes it can take a while to see the results so it can be tough at the start.

SingaSong12 Mon 21-Nov-16 20:37:49

I don't mind it from someone who knows I'm trying to lose weight but find it odder from more distant people as it indicates they had noticed I was fatter before.

I think doctors should point out weight gain, but that would need the right groups attending the GP and being weighed and NHS is already struggling.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Mon 21-Nov-16 20:44:39

Because it's bloody hard and takes real self discipline. And people always look better IMO, and obviously there's health reasons, and I think that should be acknowledged with a 'well done'

Temporaryname137 Mon 21-Nov-16 20:45:28

Lemonsqueezy has nailed what I was confusedly getting at in my head, I think! I suppose I was feeling guilty for not having the will power to stop it in the first place, so it seems sort of backwards that this gets ignored but then a bit of correction that should not have been necessary gets praised.

Then again it is fucking hard, so that makes sense too! Why can't cake make you lose weight and sprouts make you gain it?

ALLthedinosaurs Mon 21-Nov-16 20:52:48

I think there is certainly a place for health promotion and nutritional education in my local area. My GP shows a video in the waiting room of people chopping up veg and vaguely discussing portion sizes. What I wish they'd done to me is stuck me on the scales and done a blood sugar and explained about the risks of visceral fat. It would have taken a minute!

I work in front line health care and am aware if the risks actually but I was just blind to how big I was getting what with wearing a baggy uniform and stretchy clothes. I've lost a lot of weight now and have a BMI of 21. Still suffering insulin resistance but my GORD is 99% better.

I live in one of the fattest places in the country which I think skews people's perceptions of what is "healthy". People here seem to be happy with anything below obese and there are a lot of weight and diet related illnesses, eg heart disease, type 2 diabetes, stroke in younger people. A lot of patients I see are surprised that they are classed as overweight and I get called "skinny" often. Im not, I'm a 12. I look scrawny next to some school children which is worrying. So yeah, I think there is a massive gap to be filled where it comes to health education, certainly in my area. How it's addressed is another thing.

I'm sure GPs look at a larger patient and advise but wonder if the supporting education that would really drive home the necessity is lacking and actually wonder how it would be addressed in a stretched service. It's not something people want to hear, is it?

I agree with pp. People say well done because it's bloody hard work beating sugar dependency, overhauling diets, finding that self worth etc and good work taking responsibility for your own physical health and making a change... so if you've stuck to it, well done indeed.

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