My sister is putting mum in a care home She gave me a lift home and stopped the car in lay-by, looked at me and said "Pregnant, this is so hard for me to say but me and BIL have been visiting care homes for mum and we have found one locally that can take her" However, despite my sister having power of attorney the care homes said, If my mum has an understanding of what a hospital is then the decision is still hers (my mums is forgetful but still eats, feeds the cat, and functions in society, she does forget names and whether children are her children or her grandchildren) My sister says she worries about mum when she is abroad and I am at work, she imagines her getting lost or doing something dangerous. I can see her point but mum will be devastated and what about her cat!
My sister is waiting for the next appointment with mums oncologist as the care home said it may be my mum needs more specific end of life care linked to her cancer rather than her alzheimers. I feel so powerless but understand my sister is just wanting the best for mum. Its sad, I have always thought mum would stay in her home until the end of her life and I dont feel that is imminent.
I am taking mum to see an optician on Saturday as since her cataract operation her eye sight has improved and she needs a new prescription, My sister has told me not to mention anything to mum, but I feel like a traitor to her, I always promised mum she wouldn't end up in a home.
AIBU to feel my sister should have discussed this with me before she got to this stage, I would also like to have been included in visiting the care homes for peace of mind to ensure they are the right place for mum.
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AIBU?
To feel left out of this important decision.
89 replies
pregnantat50 · 21/11/2016 14:43
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